With Herman Edwards As Delila

Adam Schefter of The NFL NETWORK reports that the Kansas City Chiefs have proposed a rule to "ban players from having their hair cover or obscure the names on the back of player’s jersey."

Golf clap, Chiefs. Between the tired jokes of old white men asking if you can pull a guy down by his hair, to the head shakes of racists at the sports bar who can't possibly tolerate a culture that isn't their own... well, it's high time that they finally Did Something about this hair thing. And by putting your foot down about this, you'll keep your terrible, terrible team safe from guys like Troy Polamalu, Stephen Jackson and Al Harris -- you know, longhairs who actually have had moments of utility for their NFL teams. Can you take this a step further, please, and ban players with tattoos, or who don't embrace Jebus?

Besides, some of the players with longer hair, I knew who they were without reading the name on the back of the jersey. And where's the fun in that?

Anyway, Chief Player who would like to be enough of an adult to make their own decision about their freaking hair, please note that this rule says nothing about growing it out down to the *front* of your jersey. So just go reverse mullet. And remember, any loss in visibility just keeps you from watching as much of your godawful team!