Top 10 reasons why Metta World Peace got a 7-game suspension

10) It's five for elbowing James Harden, and two for elbowing James Harden's Beard

9) Harden got concussed, so by the standing rules of the age, the penalty must be tripled

8) Metta failed to tear off his shirt, hold his hand up to his ear to hear the crowd, or hit the prone Harden with a steel chair

7) The NBA wants to ensure that the large-market Lakers see Round Two

6) This sets up Metta to be nice and rested for that inevitable cheap theater second round match up against the Thunder

5) The NBA really needs his $348K in docked salary, as the lockout totally decimated the league office's donut and pastry budget

4) His therapist said seven was the right amount of games

3) The elbow was early a little less than 1/12th as bad as the Malice in the Palace incident

2) One stupid elbow is the same as a no-contest plea on a domestic violence charge

1) The NBA is well and truly worried about what happens if he's away from a coach and managed living situation for longer than that