Top 10 MLB Takeaways After Nine Games

10) San Diego is already six games out of the West, which is going to really depress both of their fans

9) Minnesota is so excited about Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau hitting home runs, they haven't really noticed that the rest of the team is horrible

8) Justin Upton still doesn't have an RBI, not that his fantasy owners are bitter or anything

7) If you want to blame Brian Wilson's injury woes on his persona, beard, or Taco Bell commercials, I'll completely back that up

6) Todd Helton hit a walk-off home run, because nothing really has changed in a decade

5) Francisco Liriano should really be proud of the way he sucks in fantasy baseball players every spring

4) You will forgive Angel Fan for starting to wonder if 10 years of this Albert Pujols is going to be a very good idea

3) It might be the right time to sell high on Carlos Pena

2) Many of the worst-performing starting pitchers are owned in your fantasy league by increasingly bitter, bitter people

1) It's so early in the season, many fan bases haven't even resigned themselves to the fact that their teams are tanking yet