On The Surface

The tri-weekly poker tournament, the first half hour... No cards. No cards. No cards, no cards, no cards, no cards, no cards. Multiply by three. Finally make a move when the board pairs and bet into the guy who has trips. Tasty. Rebuy. No cards, no cards, no cards.

Why do I even play this game? It's pointless. No one else has any cards either, they just aren't as stupid / cowardly / cheap as you, you moron. Everyone bluffs. All the time. Patience is for blinded out losers. Oh, except for that time you bet into trips. That was just bad luck. BET.

The second hour. Some cards. Hmmph. I'm not getting paid on them. Everyone reads me like a book -- a comic book. Patience never works when you have so many tells. I'm exhausted. No way I'm winning this thing.

What's my daughter doing down here? Oh, she can't sleep, and I'm Solo Parent this week, and no one at the tables has issues with language, so OK, let her stay.

Kid's bad luck. I'm card dead again. No way I'm winning this thing.

Well, that helped. Nice time for a double up... and wow, big paint. I'll call that guy's all-in and catch on the flop. No change on the turn and he's walking... GAHHHH. Freaking two outer on the river. And I dealt it. Don't freak out, the kid's right there, it was a coin flip at the start, that's how you have to consider it...

GAHHH GODDAAMN IT I WOULD HAVE THE BIGGEST STACK AND CASHED AND NOW I'M GONNA FREAKING BUBBLE AND I HATE HATE HATE POKER AND GAHHHHH DON'T SAY ANYTHING THE KID'S RIGHT THERE THE KID'S RIGHT THERE

Well, lookie. Ace-9 and shoving going on in front of me. Hope no one else has an ace with a better kicker, because this is all of it.... and really? The nine's going to hold up and quadruple me up, like that two-outer never happened? That never happens. Don't gloat; the kids is watching. And being an ass isn't ever a really good idea.

Others knocking themselves out now, and I've got top pair with a straight and flush draw on the board. Put him on the flush... and oh hell, he's got both of those outs. And misses, and I'm scooping, and the kid is asking me questions and not now, you little card magnet, Dad is dreaming of money...

Grind, raise, grind, raise. When's this kid falling asleep? Never. Well, OK, just keep sending me cards. Catch, advance, scoop, chip lead and adding...

And before I know it, I'm heads up for one hand. Pair of jacks. He gets it all out there. I call, duck the Ace he needed to draw even or better, and try to look calm and collected when the kid starts asking me how much I won.

Oh, I won? Well, yes, that's nice. Had a good feeling about it all along, kiddo.

And I guess I'm excited, but you know, it's poker.

Can't get too up or down.