Five fantasy baseball situations you want no part of

5) Boston Closer. Let's see... you've got one guy (Andrew Bailey) who was brought in at some expense, and he can't stay healthy. You've got another guy (Mark Melancon) who did a reasonable job last year in Houston, but that was the first time he ever had the gig, and he did it in front of friends, family and the 49 remaining Astro fans. Alfredo Aceves and Daniel Bard were both set up for the rotation and could be jerked back. And manager Bobby Valentine is enough of a Super Genius to do, well, everything. Oh, and in a hitters' park, in a murderer division, for a team with a weakening defense. Good luck with all that.

4) Angels Outfield/DH. What a mess. In between the guys who make stunning money who aren't very good (Vernon Wells, Torii Hunter, Bobby Abreu), young guys that should have the job but the organization is terrified of losing games with guys that aren't household names (Peter Bourjos, Mike Trout), and guys with health or position eligibility issues (Mark Trumbo, Kendrys Morales)... well, I'm just not seeing how anyone not named Albert Pujols gets enough at bats to draw a profit. Oh, and here's a fun fact: the Angels will pay $54 million to the three guys that probably shouldn't be on the field this year. Wow.

3) Reds Bullpen. The domino effect from Ryan Madson's injury is getting intense. Sean Marshall's got the job, right? Well, probably... but good grief, look at Aroldis Chapman's stuff. Or maybe give a shot to Jose Arredondo or Nick Masset or Bill Bray, since Dusty Baker is capable of anything at any time. The Reds will win games, but they might also win a bunch of them by more than 3 runs, and that also means *lots* of non-save innings for non-saving non-closers. Tasty!

2) Yankee Rotation. Sure, CC Sabathia is as steady as they come, you probably aren't paying full price for Phil Hughes, and it seems like they should get wins. But the rest of these guys look like a world of flux to me right now. Ivan Nova is dependent on his fielders, which means anything hit to his right is going to be an adventure. Freddy Garcia was found money last year, and probably won't be as useful again at his age. Andy Pettite has been away from the game for a year, and doesn't exactly bring back stunning heat. Hiroki Kuroda goes from one of the best pitcher parks to one of the worst, and they like Michael Pineda so much, they invented an injury for him to disguise the weight gain. This could get messy, and it won't come cheap.

1) Twin hitters. The thirst for bounce-back goodness is strong here, with everyone dreaming of Joe Mauer returning to top catcher form, a post-concussion recovery for Justin Morneau, some growth from the infielders and so on, and so on. And all of that seem to be forgetting that (a) Mauer can't stay healthy, (b) Morneau is lucky to even be in the majors at this point, and the rest of these plucky upstarts still have to ply their trade in a huge pitcher park, for a team that will probably throw in the towel by July 4. There's better gambles to be had; go look harder for them.