Top 10 takeaways from the first half-week of baseball

10) Boston and the Yankees are on pace to both go 0-162, which is a neat trick, given how they play each other 206 times

9) Reports of the death of the Phillie offense may not be at all exaggerated

8) You will forgive Baltimore Fan for not believing in this 3-0 start, considering that last year also started this way

7) Red Sox Fan is totally ready to forgive Jonathan Papelbon for everything, so long as he just comes home

6) Making teams play in Japan two weeks before the season begins remains retarded on every single level

5) Minnesota is already looking to next year

4) We're about two weeks away from Hanley Ramirez deciding that he doesn't want to play third base anymore

3) The Mets are leading the NL East, as everyone knew they would, assuming you define everyone as the population of your local lunatic ward

2) Yoenis Cespedes is on pace to hit 122 home runs and strike out 284 times

1) If the season ended today, neither the Red Sox or Yankees would make the playoffs, which is the best reason ever to end the season today