The Eagles 2012 Season Ended Today

The NFL schedule was announced today, and my laundry got boned. Hard. How? Well, let's dig into it, shall we?

Week 1: Sunday, Sept. 9, at Cleveland, 1:00 PM
Week 2: Sunday, Sept. 16, Baltimore, 1:00 PM
Week 3: Sunday, Sept. 23, at Arizona, 4:05 PM
Week 4: Sunday, Sept. 30, NY Giants, 8:20 PM
Week 5: Sunday, Oct. 7, at Pittsburgh, 1:00 PM
Week 6: Sunday, Oct. 14, Detroit, 1:00 PM
Week 7: BYE
Week 8: Sunday, Oct. 28, Atlanta, 1:00 PM
Week 9: Monday, Nov. 5, at New Orleans, 8:30 PM
Week 10: Sunday, Nov. 11, Dallas, 4:15 PM
Week 11: Sunday, Nov. 18, at Washington, 1:00 PM
Week 12: Monday, Nov. 26, Carolina, 8:30 PM
Week 13: Sunday, Dec. 2, at Dallas, 8:20 PM
Week 14: Sunday, Dec. 9, at Tampa Bay, 1:00 PM
Week 15: Thursday, Dec. 13, Cincinnati, 8:20 PM
Week 16: Sunday, Dec. 23, Washington, 1:00 PM
Week 17: Sunday, Dec. 30, at NY Giants, 1:00 PM

Doesn't look that bad, does it? Well, that's because you are missing the Hidden Bummer Factors here.

In week five, they face a Steelers team at home, off their bye. That's pretty much an automatic loss right there, even if Pitt wasn't a better team (and, well, they are).

In week six, they get a home game against a very explosive Lions team that is -- stop me if you see this one coming -- playing the game after a bye. Just what you'd want after getting hammered by Yinzers. Yeesh.

Week 8, where Coach For Life Andy Reid puts his vaunted If Only I Had Weeks To Prepare For Every Game I'd Always Win record? The Falcons are coming off the bye, too. Just in case you think these things would even out.

Week 11, Robert Griffin III regroups off his bye to lead the Redskins in that game. Not that it should matter, but hey.

So, 0-3 in terms of having a bye advantage. But wait, there's more.

That Week 13 game against Dallas is... the week after Thanksgiving. Which means Dallas will have their annual half-game edge of NFL reacharound, and you should also note that the Eagles will be coming off a MNF game in New Orleans, which is to say, another auto-loss. It's also the second time that they face Dallas on a short week. (They also get the Giants after that team plays on Thursday for even more Extra Green Day goodness.)

So in seven -- seven! -- out of 16 games, Philly faces a team with more prep time, with a QB that's always hurt, with an OL that just lost its best player, with a coach who is too fat and lazy to prep adequately on normal time.

Feeling good about the year yet?

The best hope I can have for this year is to be .500 at the bye, then win four out of five to make the division sweat. If they can get to the final four weeks in striking range, the closing schedule isn't terrible. But 2-4 at the break seems more likely, and never really getting over .500 for the whole damn year after that Cleveland opener, seems much more likely.

Which is to say... just like 2011, the most frustrating year to ever be a fan of this laundry. Whoopie!