Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Top 15 Rejected Enhancements to Madden '08

We used to work in NoCal, and know a guy at EA. FTT's spies are everywhere! (And we just gave Tomlinson's fantasy owners heart failure with that earlier cover image.)

15. "Hot Coffee" mini-game with Tony Siragusa

14. "Black Sunday" mod where you bomb the Super Bowl from a blimp

13. Easter Egg where Michael Vick is torn apart by wild dogs

12. "Sports Guy" Mode, where all Patriot players have perfect scores, and the game comes with a protective plastic coating

11. "MNF" mode, where, no matter what you do, the game is a boring blowout and the announcers make you wince

10. "Jinx" mode, where you upload the photo of your opponent, who then suffers debilitating electric shocks through the controller

9. "Boss" level, where you must duck flatulence from Coach Madden and throw food into his mouth until he explodes

8. "Left Behind" mode, where a nation of sinful zombies must be converted away from incessant video game playing through violent, head-smashing prayer

7. "Cheerleader Fight", where competing cheerleader teams throw down and tear off each other's clothing in a long, slow-motion battle that only ends in... uh... ohh.... I'll be back in a minute

6. "Tecmo" mode, where the game becomes dramatically simpler, with much less impressive graphics, and much more fun to play

5. "Al Davis" mode, where the game is in black and white, leather helmets are worn, and the Raiders are actually good

4. "Atari" mode, where all incomplete passes go the length of the field, and the players are spooky ghosts

3. "Matt Millen" mode, where you have to play 10 WRs and the QB on offense, and the QB is a converted WR

2. "Pat Tillman" mode, where you are continually sabotaged by your own team, but the announcers just keep lying about it

1. "Unlicensed" mode -- the game costs half as much, but you have to play with Payton Maning, LaDaynelian Thomlinson and Teryl Owns, and the teams all have USFL jerseys and names

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