Top 10 Questions Barry Bonds Asks Small Children

Hat tip, MSNBC.com...

Someone asked Bonds if he would contact the fan who snags one of his next two home run balls.

"No," Bonds said. "I had a little kid come up to me and say he would give it back to me. I said, 'Are you stupid? You'd have more money than your parents.' "

10. Why are you hitting yourself?

9. Is your mommy and daddy also racist?

8. How much money do you have for my autograph?

7. Why do you think I'd want to talk to you?

6. Is your daddy rich and famous? Why not?

5. What are you going to fail to be when you grow up?

4. Did you know that only fraidy-cats and retards get really nervous?

3. Don't you know that you can get in big trouble for talking to me?

2. Do you still believe in Santa Claus, you little dumb ass?

1. Why are you crying? Don't you like meeting your hero?

Side note -- As a parent, I can appreciate that Barry feels compelled to ask small children if they are stupid, and to hide behind his own when he feels he's taking too much heat from the media.

It makes me feel good that, while I'm far from perfect in my own patience and decisions, and may not be able to give my kids all of the finer things in life... well, at least I'm not going to scar them nearly as bad as this Monumental Fucktard.