Top 12 reasons why Carson Palmer wants out of Cincy

Sure, he says it's just about the wildly erratic nature of the franchise... But as always, FTT has The Rest of the story.

12) Desperate to get away from Dhani Jones and his poetry

11) No matter what the Bengals do, this job requires being in Cincinati

10) Like 7 out of 8 NFL QBs, dreams of a nice peaceful NFC West retirement

9) Determined to follow Terrell Owens for the rest of his days

8) Cedric Benson keeps falling down on him

7) After the first 25 TAInts, the thrill is gone

6) Just realized that unless he forces a change, he'll keep having to play Pittsburgh and Baltimore four times a year

5) Can't imagine getting his own reality show if he lives in Porkopolis

4) Tired of living in the shadow of Ken Anderson, Boomer Esiason and Jeff Blake

3) Has seen an indoor practice facility, and is no longer interested in living without one

2) Being the only male over the age of 10 with the name "Carson" has just gotten creepy

1) Finally saw himself in the mirror wearing that ridiculous uniform