Top 10 reasons why Chad Pennington won't retire

10) Inspired by Matt Hasselbeck's near-death contract year

9) Fairly certain that after surgery, assuming there isn't an amputation, he will have suffered no loss in arm speed

8) Read something on the Internet about stem cells

7) He's 34, and not likely to find anything else that pays seven figures a year

6) So long as people employ guys like Brodie Croyle, Derek Anderson, Trent Edwards and Jimmy Claussen, figures he's got a shot

5) Someone forwarded him an email about super-cybernetic robot arms

4) Figures that this next comeback is guaranteed to last more than the two snaps of the last one

3) Since Tony Sparano somehow kept his job, figures that he'll somehow keep his

2) Given the presence of Chad Henne and Tyler Thigpen on the roster, might still be the best Dolphin QB, even if he has to learn to throw left-handed

1) Determined to be the NFL's first 3-time Comeback Player of the Year winner