Top 10 things to look for at Barry Bonds' upcoming trial for perjury

10) Whether or not Barry's head has shrunken down to near human size, since we're presuming he's not taking any more drugs in his post-baseball career

9) ESPN to pull Pedro Gomez out of cold storage for his lone reason for being

8) Giants Fan to finally turn on Barry, seeing how they proved that they could only win a World Series without him

7) Absolutely no writers to change their mind in regards to Bonds' fitness for Cooperstown

6) Marvin Benard to become relevant and useful to anyone for the last time in his life

5) Bonds to lobby, in a particularly pathetic but increasingly half-hearted way, that he can still hit and is ready to work

4) Federal prosecutors to put him down for perjury, because they are actually pretty darn good at that sort of thing

3) Jeremy Giambi to visit the Bay Area, probably under an alias, large hat and false mustache

2) Any number of former teammates get the opportunity to detail, under oath, just what a wonderful experience it is to be in the same locker room with the man

1) Greg Anderson to continue his bizarre life-long devotion and willingness to take the fall for a remarkably useless human being