Top 10 reasons why the Phillies made Ryne Sandberg their permanent manager

I Haz Job N Stuff

10) His 18-16 record since taking the job is exactly the kind of performance that this franchise has been about for the past few years

9) Locking up a guy for many years independent of performance is kind of their raison d'etre

8) He's inspiring Chase Utley to be secretly great again

7) Carlos Ruiz says he'll take less money to come back if Sandberg gets the job, because Carlos can not stand change

6) Has incredible ideas on personnel, mostly centering around the idea that playing Darin Ruf is good, and playing Delmon Young is bad

5) Cody Asche's progress in not kicking the ball around can't just be regressing to his true defensive ability

4) Is making great strides towards delivering all of his media interviews in a thick country accent

3) Under his teachings, Cliff Lee has become really, really good

2) It amuses GM Ruben Amaro Jr. to pretend that he's making moves for a 2014 season where he actually has a job in baseball

1) Someone in town might as well be happy with something the Phillies do this year