Sunday's NFL Week One Top 20 Takeaways

David Wilson Redux

20) If you bet on multiple brain-numbing safeties, you won, and are a really odd person

19) It turns out that this Adrian Peterson guy still isn't old, and Christian Ponder still isn't good

18) Jacksonville looks like a third-rate CFL franchise, and that's before you actually look at those ridiculous two-tone helmets

17) So long as Andy Reid gets to play an opponent with the skill and execution of the Jaguars every week, I think he's going to be extremely successful in Kansas City

16) Starting center Maurkice Pouncey went down early for the Steelers, which more or less ends that team for the year

15) Atlanta and New Orleans shocked the world by playing more than a little amount of defense

14) Good seats were available at a very early part of the game in Pittsburgh, as Steeler Fan remembered just how much they hated sitting in post-game traffic after a terrible game

13) In the annals of Dumb Plays, what Bucs player Lavonte David did to set up the game-winning Jets field goal deserves its own chapter

12) Larry Fitzgerald's fantasy football owners, also known as a constituency far more numerous than actual Arizona Cardinal fans, are very happy to see Carson Palmer in town

11) Colin Kaepernick decided to show that he could end a team without running, just for funsies

10) Seattle won on the road despite only scoring one touchdown, which is downright hard to do, really

9) Cincy covered WR Brandon Marshall with one guy while ahead late, which meant they weren't ahead at the end

8) Miami won on the road in Cleveland, in a game that they had 23 carries for 20 yards

7) The Raiders used Terrelle Pryor's super scamper power to cover the spread in a road opener, which really might be the high point of their year

6) Somewhere, Jonathan Dwyer is giggling, assuming that he was able to summon up enough energy to turn on the Steelers game, and watch 15 carries for 32 yards with 2 fumbles

5) Aaron Rodgers was unable to overcome poor offensive line play in a loss to the Niners, which is to say that 2013 is wildly unlike 2012 so far

4) DeAngelo Williams lost the game for Carolina, making sure that he took care of that before Ron Rivera could

3) The Dallas medical staff seems to think that when Tony Romo's rib cage is compromised, it means that he's just had the wind knocked out of him

2) In the time it took you to read this, the Giants have turned the ball over again

1) In all likelihood, you have already lost your fantasy league