Top Ten NFL Week 3 Ad Questions

MONSTERS KILL WITH FIRE

10) Why does the Gap think that giving the spawn of Billy Joel work will make anyone want to buy clothes from them?

9) Are Verizon users getting irradiated by their angelic chorus emitting phones?

8) Can't Colin Kaepernick afford his own terrible fast food?

7) Is there something about being a Lowe's customer that makes you assault your friends with ice cold water?

6) If I buy a Toyota, do I have to engage in group dance?

5) Are the people who invest with Ameritrade doomed to spending their entire lives at work in a single eternal shift?

4) Do Samsung Smart TV buyers become horrifying sedentary shut-ins?

3) Are Honda minivan owners beset by talking garbage?

2) Does taking Viagra cause side effect hallucinations where I am the last man alive, and have to live out my days tending to machinery in a monochrome hellscape?

1) Is there any local, state or federal agency or police force that can stop DirecTV users from ruining the property value of our homes?