Top 10 reasons why Nate Allen is still the Eagle starter at safety

On the plus side, it's not interference

10) Kerry Rhodes might be homo- sexual, which could really mess up the music mix in practice

9) Wes Hopkins is retired, Andre Waters is dead, and Brian Dawkins already told them no on general principles

8) Colt Anderson is too important on special teams, which are more fun to watch anyway

7) Earl Wolff spells his name in an odd way, and the team wants to preserve the illusion of hope that there actually is a replacement on staff

6) Allen spent the off-season upgrading his incriminating photographs of Andy Reid with a dead girl and a live boy to full-on three-camera video of Jeffrey Lurie with a stable

5) The third-degree burns on Kurt Coleman from 2012 are still peeling

4) Allen is still just 25, so in five years, he's got the potential to be 30

3) Kenny Philips and Marlin Jackson won't return their calls, and promoting Keelan Johnson from the practice squad would just look desperate, I guess

2) He's a vital part of the plan to control expectations on the length of a rebuilding project from a 4-12 team

1) Need to prove to Washington that they can still lose the Donovan McNabb trade