Top 10 NFL Week Two Ad Questions

Pour Knee

10) Is a side effect of eating Quizno's the need to invent idiotic words?

9) Why on God's green earth would you want your auto insurance card to be dependent on Internet connectivity, when you could, you know, just print the damn thing and have it whenever you need it?

8) Does the end of the M&Ms commercial where the female candy sets up the male for death show prejudice against same-sex murder?

7) Is anyone surprised that Washington makes its players perform package delivery duties, rather than, you know, practice football?

6) Are DirecTV customers just setting themselves on fire arbitrarily now?

5) Will the purchase of a Chevy truck help make sure that your son doesn't turn into a mopey urban homosexual?

4) Aren't the best seats in the house at an elementary school event the ones where you aren't actually there?

3) Is the advertising strategy for Papa John's to dominate the market of humorless douchebags that order pizza?

2) Does buying a Samsung SmarTV make you watch utterly pointless programming while your family turns into unrealistic tools?

1) Is the best thing that Miller can say about its light beer is that the can is permeable in two places?