Top 10 Fantasy Takeaways from NFL Week One

I Gots Me My Genius Hat

10) Now that Al Davis is well and truly dead, the Raiders will no longer throw to the wideouts, and can no longer punt the football

9) Chris Johnson's fantasy owners, for the second straight year, are ready to put their heads in the oven

8) As we all predicted, the Jets are the clear best team in New York, and the Giants are alone in the NFC East cellar

7) Your team would have done so much better if it weren't for those scab refs

6) The Falcons scored 40 points on the road in a game where Michael Turner stunk, so if you drafted that guy, um, uh oh

5) Brandon Marshall had 9 catches for 199 yards and touchdown, which means he's about half a season away from being the franchise's all-time receiving leader

4) If you haven't locked down Brandon Weeden as your Loser League QB, you can pretty much give up hope for that bet

3) The only people more obnoxious than Redskin Fans are RG3 owners, and if you know one and the same, I have nothing but pity for you

2) LeSean McCoy doesn't get goal line touches when the game is on the line, because it's more important for the team to know that Andy Reid is a Super Genius

1) Fantasy football rewards well-prepared and expert analysis, which is why a team of QB Mark Sanchez, WR Kevin Ogletree, RB CJ Spiller, RB Alfred Morris, WR Stephen Hill, WR Cecil Shorts, TE Marcedes Lewis, K Nate Kaeding and the Cleveland defense would have you winning every league on the planet