Top Ten NFL Week 2 Ad Questions

Really, They Are Just Pants

10) If your office can be stopped cold by crappy KFC sandwiches, isn't that a terrible sign for the vitality of your business?

9) If FedEx/Kinko's is used by sleazy politicians, why are they advertising for anyone else's business?

8) Does buying Craftsman tools make you lecture inanimate objects?

7) Will wearing Levi's make you recite insufferable poetry?

6) If I switch my insurance to Geico, will I start busking on street corners?

5) Why is Ford threatening to smash my mouth with their truck?

4) Doesn't the frequent degrading of its product to free send out an unfortunate approximation of the worth and taste of Papa John's pizza?

3) Why is the sudden magical manifestation of a huge train conducive to beer drinking?

2) And as a follow up, do I have to destroy a forest to enjoy Coors?

1) When did Outback install a zip line, and given the weight of most of the people I see in that place, for heaven's sake, why?