Sunday, September 23, 2012

Top 10 takeaways from Kevin McClatchy coming out of the closet

The ex-owner and CEO of the Pirates during one of the worst periods in their history (1996 to 2007) has admitted his orientation. As always, FTT has The Rest Of The Story...

10) McClatchy decided to come out upon turning 50, since, regardless of orientation, sex after 50 just ain't happening for anybody

9) Pirate Fan will be thrilled to learn that the decade of soul-crushing ineptitude broke boundaries

8) Despite all appearances and the geographic commonalities, this has nothing to do with Steely McBeam

7) Finally, it's understood how PNC Park is so appealing from a pure design standpoint

 6) As with all things, revealing something like this is a lot easier when you have a great deal of money already

 5) Since it was an ex-owner rather than an ex-player, baseball's 100% Hetero mark is still intact, and if you believe that, I've got an electric-blue PT Cruiser to sell you

4) This is the first time that anything gay has ever been associated with piracy

3) McClatchy's family made their original fortune in newspapers, which must also have been some kind of homosexual conspiracy

2) The frequent homophobic slurs in baseball circles kept McClatchy from coming out earlier, which you can safely interpret as George Steinbrenner having all kinds of issues

1) Just because I have Pirate Fan's attention with this list and I have an innate sense of cruelty, Sid Bream Sid Bream Sid Bream

1 comment:

Billy Bearcat said...

I know that last one was supposed to hurt but after this seasons meltdown I am not sure I can hurt anymore...

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