Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Top 12 rationalizations for conflcted Eagles fans in the Michael Vick Era

I feel your pain, Eagle Fan who thinks kindly of dogs. Now that we're 2.5 games in and fully committed to the Mike Vick Era, you are torn between your lifelong need to root for the laundry, appreciation for Vick's ridiculous talents and high production, and disgust for his past misdeeds. So for the benefit of my fellow sufferers, as a public service, here's why it's OK to move past the guilt and embrace Vick without reservation. At least until he loses a game. Then we'll boo his felonious ass.

12) I have it on good authority that most NFL QBs are, in fact, not people you want to meet or allow into your home

11) As his parenting experience shows, prolonged exposure to Andy Reid can redeem any felon

10) While what Vick did was wrong, the dogs that were used weren't very cute or cuddly, and are therefore less deserving of protection

9) The reason why Vick behaved so badly before is that when your top wideout is Brian Finneran, you just start to think that the normal rules of life don't apply

8) As Steve Young's signing with the USFL's LA Express showed, being left-handed and mobile causes extremely poor life decisions for QBs in their 20s

7) When Nike gives popular black athletes endorsement dollars, they coat them in a thin layer of Pure Evil that, thankfully, wears off over time (There's hope, Tiger!)

6) Since the last 50 years of the Eagles employing QBs that aren't convicted federal felons hasn't resulted in a championship, it's time to try something new

5) It's not as if the rest of the world doesn't hate Philadelphia already, or that they can hate the town more for using Vick

4) Vick's fans are clearly better Christians than his detractors, since they are showing the virtues of forgiveness and judging not lest ye be judged

3) By embracing Vick over Kevin Kolb, Eagle Fans can continue to stick it to the racists in the fan base

2) Seeing how no one needs to meet athletes, live near, share a workspace with, buy a jersey honoring, listen to an interview with, or in any way interact personally with, who Vick is off the field is really not terribly relevant to our lives

1) When you sign a deal with the Devil, sometimes you cash in before having to pay the price

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