Thursday, September 30, 2010

Top 10 trade destinations for Carmelo Anthony

With the looming spectre of "The Decision II: Electric Boogaloo" in front of them, Denver is entertaining trade offers for star forward Carmelo Anthony. Where might he go, and why?

10) Philadelphia. The Sixers have supposedly offered up Andre Iguodala in trade, and after his team player shtick at the FIBA Championships, that just might be enough. Philly is clearly desperate for a star caliber player, and might even take Melo as a rental without a contract extension, because, well, they are just that stupid and desperate. It also helps/hurts that if he goes here, he's not that far away from his B'More homies. Stop snitching!

9) Dallas. One of these days, Mark Cuban has to actually get the shiny prize, doesn't he? For a team that lavishes its players and resides in a warm-weather state with no income tax, you'd think the Mavs would be better at the free agent game. I doubt Melo works here, because I don't think his usage works well with Dirk Nowitzki, and I also don't see the Mavs having enough to offer in trade. But they've certainly got an owner that's willing to break the salary cap if need be.

8) Boston. A team that's not willing to roll the dice on talent, and they have to know that they are getting too long in the tooth to challenge the other powers in the East for much longer. A Paul Pierce and spare parts move would gut the heart out of the franchise and cause much wailing and gnashing of teeth. It would also be the right thing to do, at least on the court. Off it, where Anthony gets to hear how he's not the warrior Pierce is from perpetually aggrieved Boston Fan? Not so much.

7) Chicago. A bit of a wild card, in that they might just want to see how things go with the Rose-Noah-Boozer triumvirate for a while, seeing how that's a nearly perfect complement of inside, outside and transition benefits. Too bad that Luol Deng turned into such a void; he'd have made for an interesting trade chip. Of course, if Deng hadn't turned into dung, they wouldn't be interested in Melo in the first place.

6) LA Lakers. This franchise is too smart and too cutthroat to think that Ron Artest is a long-term benefit, and a reasonable alpha dog like Melo could add years to Kobe Bryant's life by giving the Lakers the ability to dial down his minutes. Denver might be dumb enough to take the ticking time bomb that is Andrew Bynum, and this is a franchise that just plain gave away Marcus Camby a few years ago for salary relief, so you never know. And if you are Melo, you have to love the idea of going to LA, because for the past 40 years in the NBA, top talent has done exactly that and gotten paid off with rings. Sigh.

5) Cleveland. There's no real chance that they have enough to offer, or that Anthony would have any interest in coming here after the ownership failed to land LeBron James and then committed PR Suicide in the aftermath... but imagine how hard the Rebound Love would be. They'd kiss his butt for the next three years, regardless of won-loss record. You'd read how the town just appreciates him so much, and it's not as if the franchise and area isn't used to devoted worship of its star player. True, you'd never win a ring. But maybe the abject and joyous worship of a state would be worth it. Besides, there are a few players on this roster that he could work with, and it is the lesser conference...

4) Portland. New GM Rich Cho replaces the well-regarded Kevin Pritchard at the behest of meddling and meddlesome owner Paul Allen, and he's certainly got some chips to trade and the interest in making a splash. With brittle center Greg Oden haunting the dreams and practice facilities for What Might Have Been (yes, they certainly can imagine Kevin Durant in the laundry), there's still expiring contracts like Andre Miller and Joel Pryzbilla if the Nuggets are looking for cap relief. So what if Melo doesn't quite fit into the roster's primary need, which is for Oden to fulfill the franchise's dreams, if not his destiny? He'd fill up the box score and make them an entertaining fraud. You know, kind of like Allen.

3) LA Clippers. The most delusional franchise in the Association -- and yes, that is hard when the Knicks, who you will notice didn't even make this list, because the shocking and hidden truth is that no one cares that they suck and have sucked for a decade now -- honestly thought they were in the running for the LeBronathon, so why wouldn't they go hard for Melo? As always with the Clips, there are tradable assets that could have actual careers if they can only escape this vortex, and for a one-year rental and the ability to see if he can be the one to make the Clips relevant, Melo might give it the old college try. And hey, if he tries, Baron Davis might as well!

2) New Jersey. So what that they say they are out of the race? That's just posturing to try to make the deal simple and manageable again. Since the new owner takeover, the Nets have lost in the lottery, hired retread retard Billy King to do something GMish, brought in little talent beyond pick Derrick Favors, and moved to Newark. In the immortal words of franchise embodiment Derrick Coleman, whoop de damn do. They need Melo bad, to fill seats, help finish the new arena in Brooklyn, and convince the non-existent fan base that the new boss actually gives a damn, and has some small clue as to what he's doing. I still think Melo could wind up here, really: they need him the most, and he'd be a bigger star -- much bigger -- than Amar'e Stoudamire. (Of course, that probably says more about my poor opinion of Amar'e, but so be it.)

1) Houston. Ah, the under the radar franchise that just does everything right, and is ready to step up to the plate with an actual star. The return of limited minutes Yao Ming, the emergence of young point guard Aaron Brooks, the quiet winning ways of Shane Battier, Kyle Lowry, Chuck Hayes, Luis Scola and Kevin Martin... there's just a tremendous roster of quality supporting cast players here, and all of it, with the exception of Yao, is pretty cheap by NBA standards. But Moneyball doesn't really work to win championships, especially in the Association, so it's time to upgrade to a top 10 level player. Melo would enjoy the income tax advantage, the warm weather, the quality supporting cast and the fact that the rest of the roster would be more than willing to cover for him defensively on the nights when he didn't want to go full-out on both ends of the court. He'd also give them a playoff assassin and end of the shot clock guy, which is the only thing that the Moneyball approach doesn't get you. If he goes here, and Ming can actually give them a full year, they could finally break through.

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