We Are All Living In Isiah Thomas's House

In describing the latest attraction in the all-day circus that is the New York Knicks, Isiah Thomas had this to say about his starting point guard taking his $15 sneakers and going home, rather than stick around to get torched by Steve Nash and the Suns:

"Whatever matters we have in-house we'll try to keep in-house."

Now, I don't know if Starbury got permission to go, and won't get into the perks of a job where you get paid tens of millions of dollars and get to leave whenever you like.

But I do know this: Phoenix is nearly 2,500 miles away from New York, according to Mapquest.

Which means that Isiah's house, and the situation that he thinks has been kept in, IS THE BIGGEST HOUSE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD... and from my seat here in New Jersey, I do believe that my house is *in* his.

Now, I have lots of papers that saw this house is my house. Which means that Isiah's claims of ownership are about as valid as his claims of competence, and that he should really be paying me money for rent. Lord knows that I'm not comfortable with Isiah having any management responsibilities in my life, but the pain of that status can fade quickly with monthly payments.

So pay up, Zeke! And none of those Red Lobster gift certificates. I want cash.

(Hey, look at it the bright side. With Jerome James, Jalen Rose, Allen Houston, Malik Rose, Steve Francis, Penny Hardaway and dozens of other travesties on your record, nobody will even notice this one.)