Treachery!

Real fans of the New England Patriots (or, as I like to call those of us who have quaffed deeply and repeatedly from Coach's Mighty Vessel Of The One True Kool Aid, Massterminds) learn how to sniff out Treachery at every corner, as the enemies of Excellence and Legendariness seek to drag you down to their human, pathetic and reprehensible level of defeatedness. It makes me sick, the way these inferior men scheme and connive in their ways to cheat us all of History.

This week's opponent, the Philadelphia Eagles, are going about things in a particularly novel way. They intentionally got their star QB, Donovan McNabb, injured in last week's game against Miami. (And if you don't believe it was intentional, then why were the Eagles throwing on nearly every down against the 30th-ranked run defense in the NFL, at home, on a rainy and windy day, against an opponent who was starting John "Chris Weinke II" Beck on his first start, when the Dolphins' only chance of scoring was to have Ted Ginn Jr. return kicks? It makes no sense.)

Anyway, McNabb suffered ankle and thumb injuries, and is now said to be out for the planned SNF Eaglevisceration. Making matters worse for the visitors, who opened as 17.5 point underdogs and are now trading at 24.5, is that the Eagles back-up ia AJ Feeley. (Admittedly, the same AJ Feeley who QB'd the Dolphins past the Patriots once, but he's still AJ Feeley. It's not like this is someone to be really scared of, like a Koy Detmer.)

So, one of two things will happen under center for the Eagles on SNF:

1) McNabb will start, in a devastating piece of unsportsmanlike deception, and the Eagles will throw the ball all over the place regardless of his condition, or

2) Feeley will start, and the Eagles will attempt to *run* the ball, in a craven display of abandoning their true nature. This would also (the horror!) be their best tactical move, since it would put the ball in the hands of their best player, RB Brian Westbrook.

The visitors are also trying to pull the same trick in their defensive secondary, where third-string safety and unsuccessful kickoff returner J.R. Reid may get the start over the injured Quentin Mickell.

Now, the casual (i.e., non-Masstermind) fan will see this all as good news for the Patriots, as a heavy underdog is also injured in key positions. Lord knows the team could use some, what with that single failure this year to cover the spread and all. But as a Masstermind, I sense... treachery!

Isn't this just *like* the Eagles, as part of their Kevin Kolb-like ways, to create the Mother of All QB Controversies with Feeley, in the historically improbable event of an Eagles win? Is Andy Reid, who, it must be said, had the (gasp!) better of Coach Belichick in the Patriots Super Bowl win for the entire first half, before Coach's Special Tapes gave the Patriots the intellectual and completely fair and above-ground because we did it and the other team didn't boost, merely trying to exact his completely unnecessary and unsportsmanlike revenge on Coach while also creating the Ultimate QB Controversy Ever in Philadelphia?

Indeed, these are treacherous times for the One True Team, and seeing how this all unfolds will make for absolutely riveting television, for upwards to a quarter or more of actual football. I, for one, would sooner wish the Patriots fiery torment from a 45-man case of tainted Mexican food poisoning, right around the 8:15 kickoff, then miss a second of it.

Fingers crossed and stout hearts, my fellow Massterminds! Tomorrow night, we ride... to defeat treachery!