2012 NFL Uniform Apocalypse

Last week, there were online rumors that Nike (who has contracted to take over the NFL uniform licence in 2012), will be sexing up the unis of every NFL team in their signiture unholy-Oregon-Ducks-meets-XFL style.

Of course, the uniforms all look pretty ridiculous. And before anyone gets too up-in-arms, the rumors have been proven false. The prototype pics, as it turns out, are a product of some fan's Photoshop-fueled imagination.

Personally, when it comes to uniforms, I'm a traditionalist. I like the classic look of the Steelers, the Colts, the Raiders, and the Bears.

And I hate... well, there's lots of things I hate.

I hate it when a team changes it's uniform color to some non-committal, in-between color. (e.g. Seahawks. Eagles.)

I hate uniform changes that add a bunch of ill-advised panels and piping. (e.g. Bills, Bengals)

I hate it when teams unnecessarily add black to their color scheme. (e.g. Lions. And again, the Eagles.)

I hate alternate jerseys. (e.g. the Bears in orange, the Seahawks in fluorescent green.)

And I really hate the whole mix-and-match mentality where teams eschew an every-week trademark look in favor of having a different pants/jersey combination just about every week.

But, you know, looking at the fake prototypes (and here is a page of links to the proto-unis for all 32 NFL teams)... why the hell not? The toothpaste is already out of the tube. More teams than not already look better in their throwbacks than their current garb. From this point on, it's just not realistic to hope for an NFL where every team wears classy, traditional-looking jerseys. So why not just go whole hog and let Nike have their way? Don't tell me that fans wouldn't line up in droves to buy the replica gamers.

(OK, maybe Patriots fans wouldn't be quite so enthusiastic about wearing that Captain America getup.)