Top 11 reasons why the Pedro Martinez signing will work for the Phillies

11) By the numbers, there has to be at least one player per year that's helped by the World Baseball Classic

10) He's only got to be better than freaking Rodrigo Lopez

9) If he doesn't pitch well, he can't suck the Phillies into signing him to a longer contract that they'll really regret

8) Now that there's been a race-based controversy in Philadelphia from that swimming pool story, he'll feel like he's back in Boston

7) He's just 86 wins away from 300

6) As this is the first time since 1999 that he doesn't have an 8-figure salary, he might have a wee bit of incentive

5) From all appearances, he's now 100% midget-free

4) Charlie Manuel looks enough like Don Zimmer to Pedro to reanimate his warrior spirit

3) He's only 37, which with his Dominican birth, means he's no more than 42

2) For heaven's sake, Bruce Chen has a job in MLB right now; you are telling me that a guy with a career .694 won-loss percentage and 2.91 ERA in a Roid Era can't come up with a few good months?

1) If he pitches really well, it will prove yet again that God really, really, really hates Mets Fan