Top 10 Things I Love About The MLB All-Star Game

Do you have it -- the fever? The fever that can only be cured by the All Star Game? Let's go.

10) Snubs! Is there anything better than hearing the outrage of defenders of a marginal All-Star that will, in all likelihood, wind up going to the game anyway when a veteran star decides he's "hurt"? I should say not, especially when so many players over the years have gone on to Hall of Fame careers just from the pure rage of an All-Star snub. It's fuel for decades!

9) Outrage! Can you believe that home field advantage in the World Series -- a marginal advantage in the idiotic 2-3-2 situation, and something that has been in the hands of the American League since Veterans Stadium existed -- comes down to the team that wins? The appalled nature of baseball purists is its own reward, really.

8) Tokenism! Since every team has to be represented, you get abominations like Danys Baez and Mike Williams being declared All-Stars, which drives people crazy. But I ask you this: who do you remember more, the abominations or the run of the mill back-end pitchers? I say that the game is more fun when there's a pitcher that we're pretty sure is going to get torched. Besides, it reminds the obnoxious fans of MLB+ teams that not every single card in the deck is stacked in their favor. Suck on that, teams with a half dozen players or more!

7) Stasis! Other leagues tinker with their All-Star Games, and do things like feature young players, or have skill contests that are actually fun to watch. MLB could do this, with fun stuff like putting last year's World Series champion against the rest of the league, or having a 4-team mini-tournament with shortened games to help ensure that more players actually play, with minimal pitcher worries. Hell, I'd even take a WBC style approach, with different countries facing off to see if we can get some good U-S-A U-S-A U-S-A action. But nope, MLB just does what it does. You can set your watch to it!

6) Void! Days on end with no actual sports happening just puts us all back in touch with our families, feelings, and yard work. Yay, yard work! I can't get enough of it!

5) Education! Some people, when they hear Chris Berman doing his remarkably tired calls of the Home Run Derby, don't realize the educational opportunity being delivered here. Only through Berman's recitation of local towns and geographical highlights can a nationwide audience learn words like Salinas, Petaluma and Gilroy (for the game in San Francisco). It's the only thing that's standing between our children and utter geographic ignorance. What small Missouri towns will we learn about this year? I Can't Wait!

4) History! Did you know that back in the days when players actually hated the guys on their division rivals, they wouldn't talk to them during the All-Star Game? Or that, decades and decades ago, Pete Rose cared so much about who would win that he ended a man's career (Ray Fosse) on a home plate collision? And, um, could you possibly care less? I didn't think so!

3) Commercial sponsorship! Have you heard that Chevrolet uses John Mellancamp to shill for their products? (No, I won't give you the lyrcis, because that's a war crime. Besides, some portion of the audience is already hearing it in their heads. Ha ha!) Gosh, if only I got to see more of those ads!

2) Public hatred! Did you know that when the fans vote, it's a travesty of an abomination of an outrage, especially when they reward a big name who is having a weak season over some no-name with superior numbers? I just love when media blowhards get to tell the same public that's in all likelihood watching their content that they are fools. Beat us, whip us, call us bad names -- we love it!

1) Xenophobia! When you've got a Japanese player that takes advantage of Internet voting -- because everyone knows that when other countries use the Internet, they are cheating. Boo, Non-America, boo!