Thursday, November 22, 2012

Jets - Patriots Thanksgiving Game Takeaways

> I admire how the Jets subtly equated rooting for the Patriots with being a fan of Hurricane Sandy

> Cris Collingsworth savors pre-snap hard counts like other men savor wine

> Mark Sanchez's first INT inside the 25 could only be called Vick-esque

> I couldn't write fast enough in real-time to cover the various Jet calamities that caused this game to get out of hand, but thankfully, the clown music video posted above got it all

> Sanchez running into the butt of his own teammate, then falling down and fumbling for a Patriots touchdown, is the 2012 Jets in microcosm

> It was nice of the Patriots to end this so early that everyone in America was able to get a lot of sleep

> Up 35-3, the Patriots come out empty backfield and no huddle, because Bill Belichick owns all of his offensive players in his fantasy league

> Al Michaels actually said "Anything to keep an audience at this point" at 10:31pm, in what has to be considered truth

> This game had far more in common with torture porn than football, especially when the Patriot defense made a 4th and goal stand from their own 1

> The 14 guys in America who did not kill themselves after starting their Jets defense in fantasy were consoled by the third quarter safety

> If you owned a Patriots skill player who didn't score a touchdown in this game, it's just bad luck, really

> Why the Jets don't just invent an injury for Sanchez and run Greg McElroy out there, I'll never know

> I guess there is a worse team to root for than the Eagles after all

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