If you are anything like me -- and once again, seriously, sorry about that, you're probably not thrilled about the height and teeth and host of other issues that we're going to keep away from the blog for the need to be Advertiser Friendly -- your social media feed has more than a few anguished posts about how Hostess snack cakes are going away.
You know, those marvels of preservative, cloyingly diabetic caloric grenades that anyone with a palate got away from as soon as childhood ignorance ended. Owing to an earlier age when people really didn't mind sinister technology going into their intestines, and mass-market scale and the ability to feed your kids cheap crap that they'd burn off anyway from the activity that we've more or less eliminated from many of their lives, whole generations of Americans have become convinced that these things are, you know, food. Even desirable.
Except, well, when you actually give people the opportunity to eat them.
Then, anyone I know goes for other options -- fresh stuff or higher-end death -- to get their grub on. Because, well, they know better. So if you are feeling sad about the passing of an era (and by the way. I'm sure the damned things will be available after some inevitable corporate shake out and rebrand, at least for another 5 to 10 years, when they go bankrupt again for actual cause, rather than management machination)...
Think about the last time you actually are one of these things.
If it was a long time ago, you've lost nothing; get on with your day.
And if it was a short time ago, take off your clothes and look in a mirror.
At the places you don't particularly like to look at.
Still sorry they are going away?
(Besides, Tastykakes were always better. You take those away, we're gonna have to fight...)