9) Is Pizza Hut's willingness to substitute clearly inadequate products something of a tell?
8) Why is Apple so interested in making sure that we're all prostitutes when you use our computers?
7) If I am a Geico customer, am I in some way complicit for Gallagher not becoming homeless just yet?
6) Are iPad Mini buyers required to play one finger piano that no one in their right minds wants to hear?
5) Is there a special level of hell where you see nothing but political campaign ads?
4) Will the "Red Dawn" reboot finally let rednecks feel closure about the Cold War?
3) Are American Express owners complete idiots about keeping hold of their valuables?
2) What other things that never happen does Farmers' cover?
1) Doesn't the E*Trade baby's ability to talk and be in a wedding party just mean that he's a slacker that likes sitting in his own filth, and that similar judgments can be delivered for all of the service's users?
And two for the bonus...
If the only difference between being naughty and nice is the color of your Mercedes Benz, why hasn't society completely broken down?, and...
Can the special level of hell for political campaign ads also extend to Christmas ad campaigns that start in the first week of November?