Earlier this year for the Carnival, I took some heat for being all mean to Vince Young, who lost the starting job with the Titans to Kerry Collins. Word out of Nashville tonight is that Jeff Fisher wants to keep him in that position next year, and all I can say is, um, ha ha?
Not to be too hard-hearted about this, but being healthy is a talent. Avoiding depression is a talent. Keeping the respect of your teammates, and the belief that you are someone that they can rely upon, rather than being dominated by your personal demons... well, life's hard, folks. So's professional football. And the next team that gives Vince Young the keys... won't be in the NFL. At least, not by choice.
Final thought: is Vince the biggest Madden Jinx in NFL history?
From The Beautiful Game, proof that other sports and countries have issues with snowballs from the fans, too. Dammit, I thought only Philly Fan could stoop so low!
Moondog Sports with the news that Tranny Lions Fan did not have a wonderful life. And as always with Detroit Crime, the critical detail (whose jersey? I'm thinking it was... a half-price Tatum Bell gamer) is missed...
Ravens Fan over at NFL Juice notes how the Titans' issue with towels continued in their playoff loss. A must-read for Steeler Fan who is still giggling over them going down for the Terrible Towel Abuse...
If you are local to Philly, check out some friends of mine (EDO and Todd Young) from back in my Musician Daze who still play music, and do it well. I might even be there for their gig this Saturday night, though nothing in this world is certain.
And just because I'm getting dangerously geeked over the long-overdue movie of the best graphic novel ever made, here's Watchmen Trailer Number Two. Please, please, please, don't suck...
And finally, this small moment of Joy from Giant Fan, courtesy of the 700 Level. The lesson, as always, is to take public transportation to the games.
> Flacco rolls out, finds McGahee, but he can't get in, so Stover comes on to give the Ravens their first lead of the day. 10-7 with 14:30 left.
> A good return that starts the Titans on their 35 is followed by a nice ball from Collins to White for 15. The Slow One has a huge hole to the right where he gets another 10 yards. Collins then pump fakes and throws into double coverage deep; it's incomplete, and Kerry Collins is still a shaky proposition. Someone named Gantner loses two as Titans Fan mourns the loss of Chris Johnson from his ankle injury, but Gage saves them again with a first down catch. A White yard is followed by a back-foot incomplete for Collins, who then does the smart thing and finds Gage Again on a slant for the first. Justin Gage with 125 yards for the game. And the Titans have... seven points. Yeah, I can't figure it out either.
> White for two, and then the Titans turn it over for the *third* time today, this one on a fumble by Algae Crumpler inside the seven. The Ravens recover at the 1 with 8:57 left, and boy, you have to go back a long time to find a winning team with a negative three turnover count in a home playoff game.
> From the 1, with the Titans defense looking for the safety, the Ravens with a false start on first. Flacco sneaks for a couple. McClain loses a yard on second. Third and 10, Flacco's foot looks out of the end zone, and NO ONE IS SEEING IT. CHALLENGE! NOPE... and after a false start, there's still no challenge. I can't believe we're not seeing a reply here. The punt happens, and the Titans start at the Ravens 43. I still can't believe no one showed a replay on this. CBS is horrible. I'm pretty sure I'll see a replay of that play on, well, Tuesday. A million replays of obvious plays, but not a single one of a play that could change the game. You have to love NFL coverage.
> Collins to Jones for first as Justin McCairens is benched for some reason. Collins now has 270 yards, just an incredible amount against this defense for just 7 points. White with another big hole for another first down. Dierdorf is talking about ball security now, which is just unseemly. White to the 16 for a couple, and there's six minutes left. Titans in no hurry, which, given their turnovers, seems right. Bart Scott stops White cold for a 3 yard loss in the flat. The third and 10 from the 19 is a play where Titan Fan is probably hoping they will just take a knee and the field goal. Instead, Collins gets it to Gage, who gets close to the sticks, and it's Measurement Time. If he's short, they have to kick the field goal -- just have to. Gage is short, and Fisher isn't an idiot, so he sends in Bironas for the tie. From 27 yards away with 4:35 left, he's straight down the middle, and we're 4:23 away from a midfield fistfight between Collins and Flacco. (In a better world. Take Flacco and the points -- he's 14 years younger and has the reach.)
> Ravens start at their 24. McGahee for 6, as the Titans defense has looked a little vulnerable to the run in the second half. 3:45 left. McGahee again, doesn't get the first. Ravens taking their time, probably trying to get their defense some rest. Flacco looking flustered for play call reception. On 3rd and 2 with the clock clearly showing zeroes for a long time, Flacco finds Heap for a long one over the middle, and man, the home team is getting jobbed. Raven Fans make their presence known with a Heap chant after the play ends. CBS is all over the zero play count, but not a safety. Kill me.
> Dierdorf then covers for the refs by saying the flag for delay must have been a nanosecond away. Um, HOW LONG DOES THE CLOCK HAVE TO SHOW ZERO FOR THE FLAG THAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO GET WHEN THE CLOCK SHOWS ZERO?
> Two minute warning after another Flacco deep ball that should have been picked. Kearse, back on the field, jumps the snap for a flag. McGahee with a big hole on a draw, and gets out of bounds with the first down. Ravens are a 52-yarder away from Utter Theft. McGahee for 2, and the clock is running despite three Titan timeouts. Bad move, Fisher. McClain stopped for a loss, and the Ravens call time with 1:04 left for the Dierdorf mouth job. No such luck for the previous 40 seconds of clock loss.
> Third and nine with a 51-yarder. Flacco completes it to Clayton, but he's short of the first, and that might be enough to get Stover in for a 42-yarder with the wind. Titans call time with 57 seconds left, their second. Stover's on, and Dierdorf mouth jobs him for being 40 years old... and he nails it. 13-10 Ravens with 53 seconds left, and after a decent run back, the Titans get it at the 35.
> Bad middle pass to Jones takes a lot of time off the clock for low gain. An out to Gage is incomplete. 23 seconds left and third and five here. Titans have to be perfect... and instead, there's an awful middle pass where the safety can't hold on for the pick. Final play of the Titans' season? They rush three, Collins misses an open receiver, and Baltimore has completed incredible theft. 13-10 is your final, and I'm 1-5 so far this year, with two of those losses coming from the Ravens. They'll get the chance to make it three next week, in all likelihood.
> CBS gives Flacco the mouth job post-game. No word, of course, on the fact the play clock was showing zeros, and that he committed a safety that no one saw. He's the winning QB, he's got to be the hero!
> Three and out for the Titans after a good kickoff return, and the Ravens are an offensive drive away from taking the lead and making the home team very, very nervous. They'll do it from their own 10 yard line after a hold on a touchbacked punt.
> My first positive feeling ever about Coors Light comes from them reminding me of the Barry Switzer Era. You know, when the Cowboys, for the most part, had widly overtalented teams that didn't win.
> Flacco was 3 of 8 in the first half, which is a neat trick for a road quarterback in a tie game -- especially with no running game, either. Mason makes a great play to move the chains on a short throw from Flacco. It leads to a 3rd and 11 from the gun, where the Ravens narrowly avert disaster as Todd Heap almost has possession before fumbling. The first bad punt of the day from Koch leads to Titan ball at midfield.
> White takes a screen, shakes a tackler and gets it to the Ravens 36. Solid play for White, but it does seem that every time he touches the ball, the Titans are going to win time of possession. On third and seven from Won't Try Bironas Range, Collins hits Scaife to set up a fourth and two. And we have Bironas, on to try it from 46... but first, a challenge from John Harbaugh on the completion, to push the field goal try to 51 yards from 46.
> Acura wants me to buy their car because people get hurt in collisions. Well OK then. Gillete Fusion blades talk to you when they need to be replaced. Um, if your blade is talking to you, you have bigger issues than needing a new shave. Ah, commerce...
> Bironas now on to try from 51, and we presume the wind is helping. He misses it by a few feet to the left, not for distance, but for accuracy. And the Ravens are feeling good about this tie game.
> McClain for a sloppy loss. Flacco tries a deep ball to Clayton that's almost picked by Pro Bowl corner Martin Finnegan. Dierdorf thinks it's a good call by the Ravens, but, in a telling moment, doesn't give them credit for it. Flacco calls time -- well, on the plus side, it'll help the Raven defense, since they aren't going to keep the ball -- and then completes a concession throw to Wilcox to set up the punt. Koch, in something of an upset, puts it in the end zone. The under (33.5 points) is looking very good right now.
> A three and out by the Titans has the Ravens defense looking like their old selves, and after the punt, the third quarter is half over and still tied. Ravens ball at their own 39.
> The Shooter and Ninja children, after much back and forth out of the Man Space, invade and play their handheld games on top of us. It's time to start answering questions about adult commercials for small girls. The answer to these questions will eventually become, "Go back upstairs."
> Lo Neal on a screen gets 7. Ravens look lost before the next play and take another timeout. Bad moments for Flacco here. CBS shows Chris Johnson on the bench and, perhaps, not coming back. That's very telling, really. He's got 100 yards and a touchdown, and if that's it for the day, the road team is looking a lot better.
> McGahee gets the first on an inside run, just their fifth of the day. He gets another six with a crease in the line showing up. Titan Fan is gripping, but a no-gain carry for McGahee is reassuring. The big third and five play is a high incompletion from the gun, with Nick Harper ripping it away from Mason to force the punt. Big play. Koch's punt is fielded at the 16, and we've got 19:33 left in a game that'd be boring, if not for the stakes involved.
> White for 5 with a time-lapse photography fake off a screen. Gage with nifty footwork moves the sticks on a dicey out ball; he now has 101 for the day. White for a yard to the right, and it's really looking to me like a game that Collins will have to win, not manage. Rolle's hurt on a second down incompletion with a hold; Baltimore takes the penalty. Why no ad during his limp-off, CBS? Communists!
> White for 5 on a draw that Johnson might have gotten a lot more out of. On third and 14, you can smell the concession draw coming, and instead, Collins take a shot on a deep incomplete. And then Jim Leonard gets a big return to set up the go-ahead score, taking Craig Hentrich's punt all the way back to the Titans 42.
> Flacco incomplete on first on a deep slant as Kearse is down. Again, CBS refuses to make money, and the Titan injury count is growing. If Kearse returns with that limp, it'll be a testament to their training staff. Flacco throws a duck into double coverage, but only Clayton reacts to the ball properly, and sets up first and goal from the four. And just to add injury to insult, Albert Haynesworth is down, too. If you had the Ravens in this game, you're almost at the point of counting the money right now.
> McClain for a yard to the three, and he limps off. The team that survives this game might not be long for the next round. McGahee for a 4-yard loss on second. That's the end of the third, and CBS finally gives us some commerce. Yay, commerce!
Had company for this one -- the Five Tool Ninja -- and, well, super-detailed blogging can only happen for games we care *way* too much about. So take what you get, Ravens and Titans Fan...
> Dan Dierdorf tells us that we can't compliment Joe Flacco enough for their 11-5 record. Actually, I'm pretty sure you can. "Joe Flacco is the best quarterback in the AFC!" See, I just did it.
> The difference early: the Titans aren't terrified of letting Kerry Collins throw the ball, and he does it well. The Ravens, not so much.
> Chris Johnson makes a big play out of a screen, and the Titans pass blocking is good enough to let Collins find Justin Gage -- who I told you would do something in this game -- to put them in the red zone. Johnson takes it in from there, and the home team is looking very good early. 7-0, Titans.
> After an 8 yard screen on a backward pass to LaRon McClain, the Ravens finally get a first down when Flacco runs a long yard on a 3rd and one -- with no backs in the backfield. Trickery. It's backed up by a roughing the passer flag, and the way the Titans are controlling the line, they will need help to maintain drives. It looks like a drive stall after a Derrick Mason holding penalty, a long out to Clayton that can't get the feet down, a dropped screen to McClain and an unnecessary time out...
And in a play that will wind up giving them half of their total yards for the first half, just when it looks like it won't be a game, Flacco hits Mason for a 48-yard touchdown on a breakdown in coverage, but also a great throw. Dierdorf's man crush on Joe Flacco is becoming Favrian right now.
> These teams, you will be surprised to learn, just don't like each other. They've failed to exchange thank you notes, and disagree on matters of religion and politics!
> Johnson ends the first with back to back solid runs, the latter for 32 yards, and neither team looks like they packed their defense today. Either that, or Chris Johnson is just that much faster with a bye.
> The second quarter begins with the Titans stalling, as second and third down defensive pressure pushed them back. On a 4th and 8, they don't try Rob Bironas from 47, or punt. A fumbled snap on fourth results in the change of possession at the Titans 39. In Week 15, Titans coach Jeff Fisher didn't try a field goal from 49 against Houston, and turned it over en route to a 16-13 loss. Did he just do it again? And why am I noticing this, but not the paid professionals who are covering the game?
> Instead of discussing Fisher's seeming lack of confidence in his All-Pro kicker, Dierdorf wants to talk about the firmness of the back-up center snap on third. It's a little unseemly, really.
> After a stopped drive, Baltimore's punter (Sam Koch) drops the ball at the half-foot line, and checks it back to the 2. Does every team in the NFL (you know, that isn't the Eagles) have a drop-dead punter now?
> Johnson gives Titans Fan heart failure with a cut right in his end zone; it gets him a single positive yard. On second, he barely escapes the end zone again after strong defensive line pressure. On third, a screen to Ahmad Hall ends with an orgasmic hit from Ray Lewis, but a first down. Dierdorf couldn't be happier right now. It's, well, unseemly.
> You might think that there's a credit crisis in this country, but not at the Bank of Dierdorf. I'm pretty sure he's given credit to a half dozen guys in 20 minutes of game play here.
> Johnson with 79 yards so far, which is probably the over-under for the whole game. On third and three, Collins has time for Gage again, and the Titans offensive line is winning more battles than it's losing.
> Collins to Gage Again to put them past midfield. Johnson getting comfortable enough to make cuts in the backfield en route to a 4-yard gain. Collins hits Scaife to move the chains, and Lee Suggs gets away with post-whistle stuff that tells you how the Ravens defense is not reacting well to a 10-play plus drive. Suggs then catches Collins from behind, but he's hurt at the end of the play, and Titan Fan is cheering that injury. Bad karma, Titan Fan!
> After the injury, it's 13 more to Justin Gage, who now has 4 for 67. LemDale White ends an extremely ugly play where Collins was ready for the snap. In HD, you can see Collins more or less pee himself on that. Neat! Collins then throws an awful back-foot pick to Samari Rolle, who tries hard to be Ed Reed, but can't. Ravens ball at the 12, which is OK, since an incomplete would have just led to Fisher not trying another field goal.
> Jevon Kearse reads the snap count for a run for loss; he doesn't look old or nothing. The third down is another long and gorgeous pass from Flacco to Mason, but a yard wide of being in bounds. Another three and out, and if you believe in time of possession, the Ravens are in trouble. Yards are 201 to 95 for the home team.
> I'm pretty sure that the Toyota truck voice-over announcer talks like that all the time. About everything. And that he drinks.
> Titans pick up the blitz and Collins finds Gage for a first. If they get another 50 yards, they might let Bironas try a field goal! Another blitz on second doesn't work, and Scaife rumbles for 15. The drive ends with White fumbling on a third down draw, keeping the Titans from another non-field goal opportunity. And that's your half, with the Ravens taking a knee at their own 15. The Titans have well over a 2-to-1 yardage advantage, and some real regrets over opportunities missed.
> The Ninja has a genius idea for overtime: instead of more football, just have the quarterbacks fight for it. No helmets, no shoes. Tell me you are not *praying* for Cowboys-Giants overtime. And watching either guy suffer a terribly surprising fumble in the last minute...
At 3:46 pm, with a minute left in what turns out to be the Lions' worst-ever Thanksgiving loss -- and man, that takes some work, really -- Phil Simms told the national television audience that coming to Detroit every year on the holiday was "still fun."
Um, for who?
Honestly, NFL, this is a tradition that needs to be stopped. There is no reason to subject the world to the Lions as the only pro football game that can be viewed at this time. They are horrible. They have nearly always been horrible. They will continue to be horrible. They should never be shown to anyone but their fans and the fans of the opposing team.
And if they have to continue to be on the holiday, at least put them on NFLN at night, which is where terrible games belong.
There's pleasant, there's fun, there's riotously enjoyable, and then there's the Cowboys getting absolutely dominated in a game they were supposed to win going away... and picking the game correctly to boot.
Oh, and Jerry Jones? Excellent use of the trade deadline, sir. Your acquisition of Roy Williams,, and the immediate long-term contract that you signed him to, in a week where he contributed nothing against a breathtakingly bad secondary... truly, sir, you have never occupied a warmer place in my heart.
The simple fact of the Cowboys right now is that there is no part of this team -- even the presumably dominant offensive line -- that can be counted on. Tony Romo was clearly making that group look better then they are (Brad Johnson was sacked five times today by the previously punchless Rams defense). Marion Barber got his 100 yards, but a lot of it was on one run. Felix Jones made that OL look better too -- and he's out for a few more games. The defense got killed on the ground. The secondary wasn't the huge issue here, but only because the Rams were content to play conservative and kill them with Stephen Jackson.
What's next? Well, let's face it... Jones just tried to fix a team with a bad back-up quarterback and secondary with another wideout. He even got him from Matt Millen's old team, to complete the transition. In post-game comments, Jones was blunt in his unhappiness.
He can't release players. And he just spent his Sunday watching a team that fired its coach on its bye week come back with two unexpected wins against presumably better clubs. Everyone also knows that Wade Phillips is on a Win Or Else leash after the past two playoff washouts. Finally, thanks to the Giants surviving the Niners today, they are two games back in the division, and in real trouble for making the playoffs.
Would Jones fire the coach? Will Romo come back next week at home against the Bucs, even if it's not a very good idea? Will Owens melt down? Is someone (Bill Cowher) getting a phone call with a Name Your Price offer?
Honestly, there's nothing these guys won't try or do. Which is, well, why today was such a gift from Heaven...
> As for the Rams... well, heck. They've won two in a row, and they play in a division with the Niners and and Seahawks. Start thinking playoffs, baby!
> Just when you thought the AFC was getting back to normal... the Colts go to Green Bay and played abysmal football, the Chargers get worked in Buffalo with LaDanian Tomlinson looking spent, Miami returning to seed at home against a presumably reeling Ravens team, the Raiders taking out the Jets in overtime... yeesh.
> So all hail your Titan Overlords, the Last Unbeaten Team, and the club that no one outside of Tennessee really and truly believes in. Maybe we should, given that they've got a dominant defense and some really good work going on in the running game -- they carried the ball 40 times for 332 yards today, albeit against the I-AA Chiefs. People call Kerry Collins a game manager, but he's more than that, given the strength of his arm and the fact that he's won some playoff games and gone to a Super Bowl.
But still, it's hard to shake the idea that some club is going to put together a good game and show all of the reasons why no one thought the Titans were going to go to the playoffs this year, let alone have a three-game lead in the division. Next week at home against the Colts should be Highly Interesting.
> By the box score, today's 29-17 Giants win over the Niners was by the book and easy; the only reason the Niners were even in the game was their second straight week with a blocked field goal returned for a touchdown. But having watched most of the game today, I saw something different.
Shh... you remember Old Eli, the guy who made bad reads and gave the other team a lot of chances to make interceptions? He's back....
The Giants won this game because the Niners are, make no mistake, a terrible team. The defense did the job on Frank Gore (11 carries for 11 yards), and they ran the ball 29 times for 126 yards and two touchdowns. But Manning was only 16 for 31 despite having all kinds of time and places to throw to, and this game was close until JT O'Sullivan made sure it wasn't. The NFC East is wide open, people.
> Continuing the Winless Dream at home today were your Cincinnati Bengals. How bad is this team? Cedric Benson qualified as the Bright Spot. They didn't sack Ben Roethlisberger, and everyone gets to sack him. They gave up 120 yards rushing to Mewelde Moore. Their fans are selling the tickets as fast as they can.
So, um... what does Marvin Lewis have to do to get fired?
> The wackiest game of the day might have been in Chicago, where the Bears rode their No Boring Outcome defense to a 48-41 win over the Vikings. This game might have single-handedly saved the year for a guy in my points league, who had Bernard Berrian (81 yards and a touch), Adrian Peterson (130 combined yards and 2 touchdowns), Greg Olsen (74 and a touch) and the Chicago defense (3 touchdowns, 2 sacks and 4 picks countered by 41 points allowed). Not exactly what anyone expected, really.
In between all of that was the continuing emergence of Kyle Orton, who tossed up another 283 yards, 2 touchdowns and no turnover game. If anyone has ever seen a previously terrible quarterback become reasonable this quickly... well, I can't remember it.
> If picking games in the NFC South were a fight, it would have been stopped by now on cuts. At least the Bucs were able to take out the awful, awful Seabags; it feels like the first right call that I've made in that division this year.
As for the Saints' um, effort in Carolina... well. at least their next game on the road is in London against the Chargers. So both teams can not show up for that one...
> The late game here in the Man Cave was the Raiders taking out the Jets in overtime, in a game that should have had Jets Fan tearing his hair out. On a day where they got 159 yards (!) from Thomas Jones, Brett Favre went back to terrible, with 2 back-breaking picks and bad accuracy (21 of 38). The Raiders took away the Jet wideouts (Laverneous Coles had 4 catches for 51 yards, while Jerricho Cotchery was made complete invisible with 1 catch for no yards by Nnamdi Asommugha).
But the really notable thing to me in this game was how the Raiders won it; it will tell you that they aren't going to win very often. With three minutes let in regulation, the home team went ahead on a 37-yard Sebastian Janikowski field goal. On the next drive, the Raiders defense allowed Favre to escape pressure for a miracle conversion, and failed to make the plays (i.e., dropping interceptions) that would have prevented a tying Jay Feely 52 yarder.
Oh, and they also did that irritating Ice The Kicker thing, on a Feely miss. Can someone please, for the love of football, stop this already?
In overtime, JeMarcus Russell finally made a play to Zach Miller (like all bad QBs, he over-relies on the tight end). Three downs from there, after some remarkably conservative playcalling given that they were only on the Jets 40, the Raiders send Janikowski out to make a 57 yarder. Miraculously, he does it for the win. Had he missed, you have to think the Jets would have been able to move the ball 15 to 20 yards for the win from there, but never mind. It's not like you keep the coaching job in Raider Land from your intellect.
Jets Fan, you just lost a game to a team with a special needs coach. Sure hope that you don't need this game later...
Your list is here, and if I were a more charitable man, I'd add a list of the mostly awful skill players that he's been saddled with... but blogging, my friends, is not always about charity. Enjoy the mockery...
In reviewing my fellow members of Blogfrica this morning, these small points that don't add up to a full bite. Consider it your continental breakfast of FTT, and the continent is Antartica, given that continental seems to mean "prepared without heat."
> "I can still hit if somebody wants me." - Mark McGwire, on the tenth anniversary of the greatest baseball moment of the Steroid Era that no one will admit to still remembering fondly
Um, Mac? To the great majority of the populace, thanks to your love of the junk, you could now never hit. No one wants to remember what you were like as a player, the good times in Oakland early on when you and fellow pariah Jose Canseco ruled MLB like a merry fraternity, or the later years in St. Louis where Tony LaRussa rode you back to Genius Status.
When players in the future pass you on the all-time home run list, there won't be a loving montage to your memory. Instead, they'll mention it in passing and with shame, and move on to the umbrella promotion in the upcoming 3-game homestand.
Oh, and in your last year in 2001, you hit .187, albeit with 29 home runs. I'm thinking that in your current condition, you'd be fortunate to get half of either number, and that's assuming you can pass the drug tests and fit in a uniform.
So, um, yes, you can technically still hit... only less good then, say, Cecil Fielder, Fred McGriff or Bob Horner. You know, like other guys who are not going to get jobs in MLB. (And about a tenth as well as Barry Bonds, who will also never play in MLB again.)
> Shawne Merriman to undergo surgery and go on IR
Wait, wait, wait... shouldn't he get five or six more opinions first?
Oh, and in further news, it takes two working knees to play well in the NFL, even if you are extremely talented. (Merriman had two more tackles than a dead man in the Sunday loss to Carolina, neither of which prompted a spasmodic dance routine, otherwise known as a sack.)
In related news, the bigger issue is that the Chargers were also without MLB Stephen Cooper, who led them with 179 tackles last year, for (drum roll please) testing positive for a banned stimulant. He'll miss the first four games of the season, and become another player in the list of Charger defenders who have missed time over banned substances. In Cooper's absence, the Panthers controlled the game with over 100 yards of rushing in the first half, and outgained the home team en route to their win.
Is anyone else noticing a pattern here in SoCal? And to be completely fair, if that pattern existed for one of the historically hated teams in the NFL (i.e., Patriots, Cowboys, Raiders, etc.), wouldn't their PR suffer more than those happy go lucky Lightnin' Bolts?
> Tampa beats Jon Papelbon in Boston to keep their lead in the AL East
That gives the previously struggling young club a game and a half lead in the division race. Unfortunately for all of us who dream of a Fox Armageddon Non-Major Market MLB Playoff, the Sawx still have a six game lead over Minnesota, a 7-game lead over Toronto (who knew?), and an 8.5 game lead over the Yankees for the wild card.
So your AL playoffs are shaping up as Boston vs. Anaheim in the first round (possible revenge for the Angels, though I think they'll lose yet again to Boston), and the Central survivor (the White Sox or Minnesota) vs. the Rays. There are still 20 games to go in the season, but you'd be surprised how often a game and a half lead will hold up with that much time to go.
By run differential, the Sawx are clearly the best team in the AL... but that's not how you play the games, and other than Jon Lester, there isn't a Boston SP that really looks like a playoff hammer this year. Yes, Dice-K Matsuzaka wins a lot of games, but his WHIP is very high (1.36) for a top tier pitcher, and his playoff history is not good.
After that, you've got a mix of the questionable (Paul Byrd, Bartolo Colon, Tim Wakefield) and the overrated (Josh Beckett, currently sporting a 5.56 ERA). If Dustin Pedroia wasn't giving them a ridiculous year, the offense wouldn't be all that scary either; Mike Lowell reverting to his career norms and David Ortiz's injury woes are making them pretty ordinary. A first round exit is not out of the realm of possibility, especially now that New England Fan is convinced that God has turned his back on the region in the wake of the Greatest Tragedy in Sports History, aka the Brady Injury.
> Vince Young is hurt, and also might be insane
After being diagnosed with a knee problem that will keep him out for up to a month, Young was unaccounted for over four hours. Depending on who you believe, he was also driving around with a loaded gun and thoughts of suicide, and talked about retiring in preseason.
Now, some very large chunk of me wonders, as I always do when the player getting the remarkably bad publicity is a minority member, if some of this is overblown. Lord knows that in my town of Philly, there are people with irrational hatred towards Donovan McNabb, aka the best quarterback in franchise history, for reasons that make a fellow go hmm. It's also not as if Nashville is the hotbed of tolerance.
But I suspect there's more smoke than racism here. Remember, Young's Wunderlic score in the combine got leaked, and it was remarkably low for a quarterback (though extremely good for a houseplant). He was clearly the worst quarterback to get snaps for the Titans last year, and when you consider that the other guy getting time was Kerry Collins, that's saying something. His decision making was questionable at best, and he only really looks comfortable when the game goes into sandlot scramble mode. He may be mobile, relatively fearless and gutty -- heck, for all I know, he might still turn into Steve McNair, which was clearly the plan here all along -- but it's also quite possible that he'll be a head case flameout.
Ed Note and update...Young's mom (!) says he isn't interested in playing football any more, and even if he changes his mind or the report isn't true, I'm not sure how you come back from that. The Titans have signed Chris Simms to back up Kerry Collins, and the scary thing is, their QB situation might be better right now. Let's just say that I'm not very concerned with the Titans making it back to the playoffs this year...
Startlingly, they caught the guy. (For non-clickers, he was a 34-year-old assistant who responded to a termination by trying to burn the school down. That'll show 'em! That'll show 'em all!)
And that brings us up to today's main FTT sponsor. This forehead smacking moment is brought to you by Swingline Staplers, who remind you that when you take someone's Swingline, you may be burned to death!
Remember, for the stapler that men go to prison for, it's Swingline!
Your list is here, and all kidding aside, it seems like a decent enough gamble to me... but I'm not sure I'd be bringing in another world-class head case when Owens and Johnson are still on the roster. Too many of these chuckleheads, you're just asking for a circus. (And as an Eagles fan, I am so rooting for circus...)
The Titans stall after a near pick, and are then betrayed by Bironas from 38 yards, as I'm posting the third quarter notes. Why, NFL Players, do you cram in so much action when I'm posting at the quarter breaks?
LDT for nothing. Heaven forbid the Chargers need to burn clock in this game. Rivers is 9 for 10 for 137 in the second half, and LDT finally breaks one, getting 12 yards from an actual hole. They go back to him on the next play, and he gets 5 and makes a guy miss. He's looking LDTish again. On 2nd and 5, Rivers misses Chambers who was covered anyway, and also looked like he gave up on the ball. Careful, Chris, you'll make the big girl mad! The 3rd and 5 is a nice move by backup TE Brandon Manamaleuma (yes, that's probably the wrong spelling, like you could have done any better) for the first, and the Chargers are in Titan territory. On a subsequent 3rd and 10, Chambers is open for so long that the entire crowd and Nantz announces it before he throws. 39 yards and goal to go awaits. LDT saves the Chargers from a delay penalty, and it's commercial time.
The Titans should lose this game, and it should have been by a lot. The amount of space that the Chargers WRs have been open by has been, frankly, staggering. And once again, for the record, there is no way they are winning next week, especially if Gates isn't back by then. LDT shows why he's great on a 2 yard loss by making three guys miss. 2nd and goal from the 10 is thrown away, and Norv can't hear anything. LDT pinballs to the 1, and Norv dithers long enough that he has to challenge to avoid the delay of game penalty. That's good coaching!
The challenge is turned away, and Norv is going for it. Chargers no longer have a timeout or challenge, and it's 4th and goal from the 1, with Norv's Coaching Life on the Line. What will he call? LDT believes he can fly, and has the presence of mind to just reach out and score after he was met in the air. Wow. The Titans challenge the play, but fail under the well known rule of Great Players Make Great Plays, and with 8:45 left, it's 17-6 Chargers... and we have achieved a cover! Woo hoo! Norv, we always knew you had it in you!
Titans start at the 20, and the Chargers smell blood. A sack leads to 3rd and 14, and another sack. Now, these are the front-runners I was expecting to see!
Chargers start at their own 43. We're only 17 points from the over, you bastards! 7:43 left, and it's LDT for nothing, then a burst of 12 while staying in bounds. LDT cares nothing for my over bet. Bastard! Turner hits the hole for another first down, and the Titans look like they're packing for the bus. Under five minutes and counting, and Turner gets the corner and the first... but there's a flag on the play, and it's coming back. Jackson with a hold.
It's that special time in the game in which Nantz has to tell us how the Chargers helped after the fire. Maybe they are this year's Saints, but with rich white people instead of poor black people. That's a story everyone can get behind!
On 3rd and 16 with 4:13 left, Turner gets stopped in bounds, and we've got 4:03 left. Scifres does a great job of putting it out at the 5, and if Bironas had only hit the figgie, this would be a one possession game. Moulds makes a misstep that wipes out a first down catch, and then the Titans false start. Young now needs to go 98 yards. Reggie Bush or Mario Williams could do it! And so could guys with better Wunderlic numbers!
Young to Hartsock gets them some breathing room, and then gets picked by Drayton Florence to ice the point spread. Woo hoo! We're eating store brand cereal tonight!
The rest of the game finishes up and I want the last six hours of my life back.
I'm 3-5 for the week, 2-2 against the spread, and if you've actually read all of this, you have my sincere thanks and condolences. Congrats to the Chargers, Giants, Jaguars and Seahawks. I can't wait to bet against you all next week!
Research tells me that the mystery Titans WR is Biren Ealy, and he's from Houston, which means either him or Kevin Kolb rode the other to the NFL. I'm hoping on the latter.
Sproles gets the kickoff back, but it's brought back a bit. LDT for 4 and could have been more, then nothing. 3rd and 6 and a big play for field position and everything else... and Rivers steps up and accurately shot puts it to Chambers for the first. LDT for 1.
You know, if I were Norv, and I still had consciousness from the lack of oxygen due to the presence of my own arms around my throat for the last two hours, I'd try to get him in space on the flat. On 2nd and 9. Rivers is hit as he throws, and the ball goes nearly as well as when he's untouched. 3rd and 9 and another big play here... and the CB buys a pump fake and Rivers hits Padilla-Jackson for 34 yards. Also, the Titans have lost two players in this drive. It's Game Changing Time, Baby!
LDT on a toss sweep for nothing; he now has 11 for 11 on the day. A 19-yard ball to Chambers puts them in business at the 11, and is followed up with a toss and catch to the 4. Who knew Chris Chambers saved his A game for the playoffs? Second down, LDT for nothing. Very, very big play here... and with LDT wide open in the flat, Rivers goes to Jackson, who gets to the 2. Norv sends in the field goal kicker, and needs to be killed.
Seriously, from the 2, he gets a yard, it's a first down. He get two, he gets a touchdown. His defense isn't so good that field goals are going to decide this. His team now thinks he doubts them, big time. He might still win this game, of course, but that move would get me my second Descended Testicle pic of the day, if we only all had the stomach for it.
Titans start at the 24. 4 to Davis, 4 to White, and it's 3rd and 2. Can the San Diego crowd give them an edge here? Nope. Short pass to the TE, Hartsock, for a first. Norv is now thinking that the smoke from the wild fires may have caused him a permanent problem. Henry gets stuffed, and on 3rd and 6, Young tries the curious tactic of throwing the ball away in the field of play. It's punt time.
Chargers start with an easy 20 yarder to Jackson, who was so open, he was signaling for a fair catch. It's followed by LDT in space! Wow, what a concept! He catches a ball in the flat for 5. They then give him a carry which gets a long yard, and is another moment in this game where he *almost* broke it. Finally, he makes a play in this game, with a catch in the flat where he makes a man miss and gets the first. It's like Norv's a Real Live Coach!
Turner in for a three yard burst. Haynesworth, unabated, takes a free hit on Rivers, who gets the 5 and 15 as Rivers reacts with only slightly less histrionics than women at a bridal shower. Big play, and Rivers might be calmed down with a little chai tea. He can get it from Norv... and maybe a little aromatherapy, which will work in nicely with his post-TD celebration, as Jackson settles under a crossing route and dances in. It's 10-6 Chargers, and we're about to see Vince Young work from behind.
After the kickoff, Young finds Troupe on a nice deep ball, and the Titans are already in Chargers territory. Henry takes an end around and gets nailed, but not tackled, by Quentin Jammer. On a 3rd and 1 and the last play of the quarter, Hall fights through three terrible tackles and gets an 11 yard gain. They'll start the fourth in the red zone, as Jim Nantz says, and that play, in microcosm, is why the Chargers are no threat to survive past next week. 10-6 Chargers at the end of the third.
On the flip, the Titans continue to run it down the gut, with a big 13-yard gain on a 3rd and 1. LemDale White Is Exerting His Will... but he's on the sidelines when Shawn Philips recovers a terrible fumble by Chris Brown, and it's Chargers ball inside their 10. That's what the Shooter Grandpappy used to call a game-changer right there. (He also said the same thing about Grandmom's burlap nightie, and so would you.)
LDT for El Dee Squat. Chambers for seven, and could we have a Charger first down today? On 3rd and 6, Rivers finds Gates and the Chargers are on the move. Eerie parallels to the early game, where the Giants didn't have a first down in the first quarter... LDT for 2 (he's now got 4 carries for 5 yards), and Rivers finds Chambers for a big 31 yard completion down the gut. I don't like either the QB or the WR there, but that was a nice play.
LDT for another loss; he now has 5 carries for 2 yards. Rivers scrambles and throws it away on 2nd, and we've got 3rd and 12. Will he throw a safe short pass and turn the ball over on a punt? Nope -- actually tries a deep ball to Vincente Padilla Jackson, and the ball in underthrown and out of bounds. At least field position was changed, and after the punt, the Titans will start at their 11. Did I mention that that the over bet is for crap yet?
White loses four on the worst screen execution ever; he was open, but falls down and soils himself. 3rd and 12, and if I were the Chargers, I'd watch the scramble... Young hits Chris Davis on a perfectly timed 9 yard out. A shame, since they needed 12. Pointless, and then it turns out to be dropped. They aren't sending the tape of this one to Canton. And Norv needs more lozenges, though the Sproles punt return started to clear things a bit. The Chargers will start in Titan territory.
Rivers on first down shows what he thinks of that with a bad pick on an underthrown deep ball to Chambers. Titans ball at their own 20. I'm starting to think that the 30 NFL teams that weren't involved in the Rivers-Manning trade were the real winners. QB Philip then spazzes out on the sidelines. Hoo boy.
3rd and 8 for the Titans is a long ball to a crowd of four players - 2 Titans, 2 Chargers. That's good football right there! After the three and out and punt and eye gouge, the punt goes out at the Chargers 44, and QB Philip is back in business and feeling much better after a Midol. Norv's switching to a menthol rub, though.
On 3rd and 10 after a false start and a near sack/disaster/afterbirth from QB Philip, Jackson gets wide open and the Chargers get to field goal position. But LDT is still getting stuffed (7 for 6 yards now), and Gates goes off on the cart after a one yard loss on a terrible pass behind him.
That sound you just heard was Norv peeing himself while coughing, and the Colts redoubling their prayers for a Bolts win. The Pats are also starting to entertain the notion of a 20-point line for their home game against the Titans.
QB Phil throws a rainbow to the corner into double coverage, and it's knocked down. Nate Kaeding, who Jim Nantz informs us isn't 100% and is still Nate Kaeding with his unfortunate history of being Nate Kaeding, misses badly from 45, and it's still 3-0 Titans, with less than three minutes left in the half.
Gates is said to have a toe problem and a questionable return. Speaking of questionable, the Titans run it twice before the two minute warning, because they're dying to make sure they lead this game by no more than three points at the half. On 3rd and 10, Young finds someone named Byron Eelie (I have no idea if that spelling is right) for a first down. Chris Brown runs for 10 yards from dreadful tackling masquerading as hard hitting, but a flag brings it back. Some more dull plays later, it's 3rd and 7 with 46 seconds left, and Young finds Eelie again for the first. With the ball at the 40, they're almost in range for Bironas, and that's all the Titans want, since touchdowns are evil.
Moulds for 5, and there's 32 seconds left in this cure for life. 5 yards to Troupe for a first down, and tick. Cooper, the Charger DL, dives for the spike (hmm, interesting) and misses. 15 seconds left from the Charger 30. an you feel the tension. I can, but it's been a while since I moved my bowels. White for 3, and Bironas is on to try from 45, which he makes straight down the gut. It's 6-0 Titans, and the Charger players might want to attempt a tracheotomy on Norv during the halftime. I saw a MASH episode once, and all you need is a swiss army knife and a pen tube. It's easy!
I'm warning you right now, I'm rooting hard for No Drama and a Charger Blowout, so that I can get a lot of laundry done and bail on this early. (On the other hand, the Shooter Brother is a Chargers Fan, and if they blow this game, I'm pretty sure his head will explode, and that's always good fun.) Let's tee it up!
First play for the Titans is a bizarre WR screen that doesn't work. Nothing quite like saying that We Can't Beat You straight up by trying to trick them right away. Second down, Gage drops another one, we're another misfire away from the fastest possession ever... but the safety screen works for 16, and the Titans are at mid-field.
Vince Young is reading the wristband. Nothing quite says lack of confidence like reading the wristband to me, but it's working so far, at least when he's handing the ball off. On the second third down of the drive, Young calls time, but not before a bad penalty... and Young gets the third down easily by jogging away on a bootleg. Charger defense is not showing smarts to far. It's followed up by a very easy rollout and gain to Gage that puts them in field goal position.
Another first down and the drive is 4+ minutes long, with lots of imagination. On 2nd and 10, Young throws for 3 against a 3-man rush; it looks like the Chargers are trying to make Young be patient. 3rd and 7 is a big play early... and they don't get it on a rollout. It's Rob Bironas time, and the All-Pro and MVP of my fantasy team hits from 30. Titans were 5-0 when scoring on their first possession this year, and Norv Turner just found it hard to swallow his water.
LDT for 2, then a sack and recovered fumble as LDT saves Rivers from disaster. Norv is looking for cough drops. 3rd and 17, and the Chargers settle for underneath and out. Norv, menthol or regular on those cough drops? After the punt, the Titans have the ball at their own 34.
A sack forces a third and nine, and Young's slow to get up under heavy pressure. Be careful what you wish for, Chargers Fans... the better QB, by the numbers, might be coming in. Young gets up and the grounding call isn't made. After the punt, the Chargers get it at their 23.
The Chargers drive starts with a chop block flag, making it first and 21. Yeesh. LDT for 3, then QB Philip misses Chambers badly. On 3rd and 18, Rivers gives us a magical 3 yard ball in the flat, and the backup TE fails to make six guys miss. Three and out and that sound you heard was chuckling from Indianapolis, who really are hoping the home team can survive...
White starts the Titans drive with a good looking eight yard run to their 37. 2nd and 2 doesn't get them the first on another White carry. Tennessee runs the ball more than anyone else in the NFL, and with these WRs, I can't blame them. White makes the first down on his own by running through a tackle. Young slings in an easy throw to Ben Troupe for a first at the Charger 45. Norv is asking an assistant coach for some chicken soup, maybe with a little matzoh. On 2nd and 8, another strong run by White to get nearly 8. Norv is asking if anyone else feels warm. Hall, a reserve scatback, gets the first down, and that's the quarter.
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Earlier this year for the Carnival, I took some heat for being all mean to Vince Young, who lost the starting job with the Titans to Kerry Collins. Word out of Nashville tonight is that Jeff Fisher wants to keep him in that position next year, and all I can say is, um, ha ha?
