Blogrolling for a cold February Tuesday

Let's start it out with some alt-country, just because that's the vibe of the day, folks.



Major League Jerk with the Phillies preview. These are always fun when the writer hates the team, but has to have respect anyway.

Nerf is 40. You are old. And kids today are pussies for not being able to throw a real ball. This message is brought to you by the Shooter Brother, who is even older than me, and never cottoned to such nancy-boy foam. He also never got why I used to hide in the ease closets to avoid getting into games with him and his friends...

My old editor is still pushing the poon over at the Carnival. Nice moment here for Reggie Bush to have to suffer through his girlfriend's thing. Stars! They're just like us!

Media Post slobs the NHL's knob for, among other things, the outdoor game in Wrigley, embracing YouTube, and having increased ratings for its games on NBC and the Stanley Cup Finals, Personally, I think it's just that they've been away from the Lemur's clutches.

And finally, Eagles Porn to warm up the soul, as Brian Dawkins does his Wolverine impersonation on the Super Bowl winning QB. I think you'll be safe wearing his jersey in town for decades to come.

Epic Drops

Editor Scrap has decided to give up the ghost, which means more lists on this site.... or, well, not. I made some good connections through EC and a reasonable amount of coin and links, but I can't say I'm very sad to see it go. Especially in the past few months, the spank turn over there just made me feel out of place, and it just wasn't as fun as I hoped it would be.

It also didn't help that Scrap kept wanting to kill the thing. Brett Favre-esque quitting stuff rankles in real life, too. I don't mean to speak ill of a guy who is probably going to read this and get a little bent, but the traffic boost from the broads probably cost him an advertising network, and that, more than anything, probably stuck a fork in it.

I appreciate the opportunity and the exposure, and if anyone has need for my services, just drop me a line.

Epic Drop: Top 10 sports arguments you will be sick of in 2009

Today's link is a good old festival of cynicism and distaste, but honestly, it's all about number one. For those of you who don't visit the Carnival, let me repost it here:

1. ANY Athlete's Retirement Plans. When should anyone ask an athlete if they are retiring? NEVER. When should we hear about this? WHEN THE ATHLETE IS RETIRING. When should the athlete come back after announcing his retirement plans? NEVER. THEY RETIRED. THE REST OF US ARE INCREASINGLY UNLIKELY TO EVER HAVE THAT OPPORTUNITY.

I know, I know, a little bitter.

But I'll level with you here, Dear Reader... I'm a 39 year old guy who supports a family of four. In twenty odd years, I'll have my house paid off, assuming that I'm able to remain employed at my current income level. My kids will have some help with college, but they'll probably take a decade of debt, the same as I did. If Social Security is still around -- and I'm one of those naive people that think it will, if only because I believe in the power of Public Anger over Complete Theft -- and no one in my immediate family develops a debilitating and costly medical condition, I might get a limited and pleasurable retirement with light travel and too much limit poker in some casino.

On the other hand, I could be in the harness until the day I check out.

Now, I have no complaints about this. I'm luckier than 99% of the populace, in that I get to write and think for a living, rather than truly bust my ass doing something physical. I also make reasonable coin, have people report to me, and really do enjoy what I do; the commute kinda sucks, but so be it.

But what we have with athletes now is the only wildly rich people that will all get to retire, and there will come a time -- corrupt media or not -- that the anger from all of the rest of us will become palpable. Maybe it will be from a falling memorabilia market, or dropping jersey sales, or consumer action against endorsements, or just from lower ticket sales and/or increased fan negativity in those settings.

There's one thing, however, that I am utterly certain of: the sports blogosphere, being made up of people who are actually in the stands instead of the press box, will notice it first.

Epic Drop: Top 10 sports blogging resolutions for 2009

I do the resolutions thing, and it's your task to see which ones are legit. Or, you know, just click and giggle.

Epic Drop: Top 12 sports thieves of 2008

Who will get the top spot? Well, I went strictly on a dollar for dollar basis, though I'm not sure how much the top guy took off the table. And if I'm really lucky, one of these fine entities will sue and really drive the ad revenue up...

Epic Drop: Top 11 ways to celebrate Cowboy Elimination Day

Today's list focuses on what true Eagle Fans are thankful for, and no, it's not another year of the Don N' Andy Show.

It's the simple joy of ending the Cowboys season, honestly.

That doesn't make the year a success -- they'd need at least one more win next week to even think about that, and it's going to take a lot to make me forget Cincinnati, Baltimore or Washington.

But that doesn't take away from the greatness of Cowboy Elimination Day, especially when it was coupled with Patriot Elimination Day, and Favre Elimination Day...

Epic Drop: Top 10 NFL Teams I'll Miss in the post-season

Let us not let these brave stalwarts of suck to pass into the history books without note, my friends. (Oh, and don't think that the lack of Eagles on this list is because I still have some faith that they'll be playing games next week. It's just that I won't miss them. And neither will anyone else in town.)

Epic Drop: Top 10 insult sports jersey Christmas presents

A special holiday link for your gift giving perusal, and a slam dunk for the Pats fan on your list. Of course, this assumes that you have a Pats fan on your list, or should...

Epic Drop: Top 11 sports grievances

A good fun-time link of hate and grievance, just in time for your favorite December holiday. I'VE GOT A PROBLEM WITH YOU PEOPLE!

Epic Drop: Top 10 NFL announcer verbal tics

Today's list is a festival of teeth grinding hate for the things, that, well, make your teeth grind. Or would, at least, if you are anything like me, which as always, I hope you are not.

Seriously, though... maybe this is just a function of increasing age and all, but the older I get, the less tolerant I am of the whole NFL announcing profession. Either you've got some absolute hate from the ex-Cowboys out there, or unrepentant tired shtick from the Personality Types. I just want the game, people, preferably from some uber-nerd that knows something of advanced statistics or unrepentant film study. Tell me something I don't know, rather than what's obvious to anyone with a pulse and eyes. You're certainly getting paid enough.

Epic Drop: Top 10 fantasy football championship week goats

Well folks, you can probably guess that I owned most of the people on this lists today, and yet I still won my head to head matchup. It was a pretty bad league as leagues go, but a win is a win is a win, and it makes FFL a profit for the year.

And yes, I'd exchange it for one more yard for Reggie Brown and an overtime score, even though in the long run, anything that gets the Fat Turd off the Eagles sideline is worth it. Not that he's going anywhere, of course...

Epic Drop: Top 10 shocking realizations for NFL gamblers

Tonight's list was far, far too easy to write. Use that knowledge in my intervention, after I talk myself into a prop bet for a wild card NFC East team to win the Super Bowl with three straight road wins for the second straight year.

Epic Drop: Top 12 most hated U.S. sports franchises

Good clean hate here, folks. Burns clean and will keep you warm on a cold winter's night.

Epic Drop: Top 12 sports to heckle

A labor of love tonight, friends. Pull yourself up a good sore throat remedy and mull over your options for the next event you go to. (Hint: you get much more bang for your buck with youth sports. Plus, you toughen them up for later!)

Epic Drop: Top 11 Sports Fan Steps to the Dark Side

Tonight's link will make some of you nod your heads and say, "See, that's why I don't play fantasy sports. I'm not a sellout degenerate gambler like you are, Shooter."

At which point I'll congratulate you on your virtue, and hope like hell that I'll see you at a poker table. Soon.

(Insert E-Vile laugh here...)

Epic Drop: Top 11 utterly unsurprising NFL developments

Today's list is inspired by today's NFL viewing. Funny how that works, isn't it?

As for the actual games today...

1) Why Jeff Fisher doesn't try a 50-yard field goal with Rob Bironas, wind or no wind... and if that is the case, why the fourth down play is a long pass... and Bironas had hit all day... well, yeesh. Terrible way to lose the #1 seed.

2) The Titans also lost Albert Haynesworth today. If that's a long-term injury, the Titans just became one of the least imposing top two seeds in NFL history.

3) Independent of who you were rooting for in the Ravens-Steelers game, it's a crappy way to end a great game, for the refs to give a touchdown judgment on replays that really didn't look conclusive. I was waiting to see the Steelers go for it on fourth down for the win, or to kick the field goal and have the game go to overtime... and instead, it's another Ravens screwjob by the refs. Both teams deserved better.

4) Leon Washington, on a per-touch basis, might be the best player in the NFL this year. He's just electric.

5) If there's a worse quarterback in the history of the NFL than J.P. Losman, I haven't seen him. Yes, I know, Bobby Hoying? Chris Weinke? David Carr? Give me Loserman over all of those guys. Four turnovers in the fourth quarter.

6) The fact that the Chargers are still alive in the playoff race is utterly amazing to me. Seriously, the West divisions need to be collapsed and reshuffled. I'd be OK with East and West Conferences, with eight-team divisions, and if you win the division, that's a bye, and everything else is wild carding. Add the South to the West in each conference, and solve this whole problem. Gah.

7) Jim Zorn seems just a *little* out of his depth now, don't you think, Redskins Fan?

Epic Drop: Top 12 signs that things are starting to deteriorate for Terrell Owens in Dallas

It just hurts so much to have to write a list like this, really. It's hard, so hard, to have predicted the exact thing that is happening in Dallas. Of course, given that it was pretty much the same thing that happened in Philadelphia and San Francisco, I didn't have to be Nostradamus here...

Epic Drop: Top 12 reasons the Arena Football League won't play in 2009

I'm certain that to some portion of the audience, The Day The Indoor War Died will be right up there with the Lennon assassination, the Challenger tragedy, 9/11 and that time when you found a five dollar bill on the street in terms of Memorable Days of Your Life.

Or, well, not.

Less football is generally not a good thing, but what the hell, maybe this will finally lead to the quality spring league, using real rules, that the market demands. Watching CFL rejects bounce off arena walls and netting... didn't really do it for me. Sorry.

Epic Drop: Top 10 adjustments for the Cubs in the wake of the Tribune bankruptcy

Today's link comes from that eternal source of merriment, your Chicago Cubs. Only in America could a real estate bag man buy a huge media company by... borrowing money from the company that he was supposedly purchasing. But on the plus side, I'm fairly sure that he's going to lose money on the deal, too.

Epic Drop: Top 12 signs your NFL color analyst is a loose cannon

Today's list is inspired by the Five Tool Ninja, who has heard people complain about the Prevent Defense That Prevents You From Winning just *one* too many times. He's got a point -- if it's such a god-awful idea, why does every single NFL team do it? They might just know more than, say, Emmitt Smith. Then again, so might the fish in my aquarium...