Ellis and Hobbs

More wheeling and dealing at the NFL Draft, where my Eagles have moved a couple of fifth round picks to the Patriots for starting cornerback and Sheldon Brown Go Away Jersey Ellis Hobbs. Hobbs has been starting for the Pats for years now, and while he hasn't looked anything like a #1 corner despite making good money, he's probably a better option than Publicly Pouting Sheldon, and if nothing else, the team has an absurd number of return options in special teams, with DeSean Jackson and Quentin Demps coming back from last year's team to compete against first round pick Jeremy Macklin and Hobbs.

If you want to think negative about this, there's the fact that Hobbs has trouble with bigger receivers, which hasn't been a strength of the team in recent years. However, it's also something of a misnomer that, at least in the division, this is the biggest worry you'd have. Terrible Owens is in Buffalo, Plaxico Burress is unemployed, and the Redskins go at you with smurfs. The trouble comes outside of the division, where you can easily see Hobbs and Samuel struggling against a Marques Colston, an Antonio Bryant, or, um, that Fitzgerald fellow in Arizona. Not that I'm not still seeing that in my nightmares.

Finally, there's this... I get that this is a good and deep draft, and that cheap rookie talent makes the world go around, especially if the economy starts making NFL teams worry about making payroll. (Unlikely.) But there's something to be said for taking a guy that you know can play in the league over some folks that you are choosing that weren't good enough to be named in the first 100 selections. Just sayin'.

Things I've learned while in a diseased state

Last night after my poker game wound up (lost in the tournament on pairs versus overs, lost in the cash game late on some donkey plays), I was puttering around and playing a computer game. I then felt a stronger reaction than usual to the bad poker playing regrets, and have spent the time since dealing with illness and staring dully at NBA playoff games, NFL draft coverage, and my fantasy baseball teams, all while clutching my stomach and moaning. Good times! It's also been long enough now that I can actually sit up and type without feeling like I'm going to see that Friday Night Salsa again. Ow. Owwww. Owwwwww....

> Avery Johnson might have the most annoying voice in television history.

Actually, scratch that. Maybe just the most annoying person. Even when the guy is saying something I agree with on the Lemur's coverage, I kind of want to hit him in the face with a brick.



> When you find yourself switching off from what might be the most important day of the year for your NFL team to 2007 poker highlights... well, let's just say that when you're ill, the last people you want to spend time with are Chris Berman and Mel Kiper, Jr.

> HDTV is doing Nancy Lieberman no favors. And the Lemur knows it to near comical levels, as they have her turn halfway around and step out of the shot during interviews, and cut away as fast as possible on her little quotes. It's almost endearing, really.

> When Tony Parker, Dwayne Wade and Kobe Bryant want to score, they do. And yet the Spurs have so little else -- basically the last dregs of Tim Duncan and a superb coaching job to make guys like Matt Bonner, Bruce Bowen and Drew Gooden appear to be part of a playoff rotation -- that the Mavs are winning this series, going away.

> The ugliest fan in the NBA is Utah Fan, and on some level, I really enjoy the annual show of Bryant sticking it to them hard. You live in Utah, your beloved dead owner was a homophobic turd, and watching your bitter old man coach lose is always serious fun. But by all means, tell me how Deron Williams is better than Chris Paul some more, and how much you respect Matt Harpring. That's always fun. (At least Sloan admits that they have no answer for him.)

> If Lamar Odom got to play against the Jazz every game, he'd be an All-Star. Carlos Boozer is the guy with the paycheck and the statistics, but Odom just eats him, and every other forward the Jazz throw at him, alive.

> New Orleans did everything possible in the last minutes against Denver to end the series by going down 3-0, but Carmelo Anthony and Chauncey Billups couldn't seal the comebacking deal. Normally, you'd still give the edge to the Nuggets to close it out, because the Hornets keep giving minutes and shots to Peja Stojakavoic, and he's utterly terrible right now. But it's not as if the Nugs don't have their own chuckleheads on the roster, or any kind of playoff track record of success (Melo has never been out of the first round).

> Rooting for the Raiders must be like caring for an aged relative that refuses to, well, accept their limitations. Today, they spent their first round pick on a WR with the best time in the 40 yard dash (rather than, say, the best WR), and their second round pick on a guy that even the Lemur had no film of. His name is Michael Moore, and I was able to find a picture of him on the Internets, which is posted above.

Seriously, at what point can the NFL take this team over and make Al Davis go to the home? (Oh, and thanks once again to them for allowing the Eagles to have a playoff run last year. Good on ya.)

> Speaking of my Eagles, I'm a little puzzled as to why you take a WR in the first round when you (a) have reasonable depth at the position, (b) probably need a running back and tight end more, and (c) might have a glaring problem at cornerback if Sheldon Brown is going into Operation Shutdown Mode. But, well, they know more than I do about such things, and when your draft doesn't make the Lemur heads assume the position (ooh, Mark Sanchez, your leadership skills and intangibles make me weak in the knees!), you are probably doing something right.

> Not sports and all, but is there anything that shows the utter irrelevance and navel-gazing ways of the Meedja than the relentless Obama's First 100 Days coverage? I'm on board with the guy, and even I don't give what passed out of me this morning. But by thunder, there's nothing that's going to stop this wanking, so grab it with both hands and go, you utter... well, moving on.

The High Cost Of Respect

And the week had been going so well for Eagle Fan. We got to delight in what seems like the exceptionally reasonable purchase of one of the best offensive tackles in the game, as the team picked up Jason Peters from the Bills. And then, what do my forehead-smacked eyes do discover, but #2 CB Sheldon Brown giving voice to his considerable lack of respect for the team not being too interested in renegotiating his deal, which has four years left on it at what might be below current market value.

A few points here.

1) I'm almost *always* in favor of the player making more money. He's the guy who, you know, has to hit people for a living, and if he's not happy and plays badly, my football season is ruined. The Eagles have also been under the cap since there was a cap, really, so it's not like I'm even going to dork out and worry about their contract situation. From a macroeconomic view, the player having the money is better; they employ more people buying more fool things.

And even I don't want to see Brown get paid a lot more.

You have two choices as an NFL player when you are young and the team values your services. The first is to take the lock low pot and sign the extension. The second is to roll the dice and wait until you are a free agent. Every player gets this decision, assuming they are good. Brown took the first route, and now he wants this second.

The Eagles, sensibly, haven't shown a whole lot of interest in changing the terms of the deal, seeing how Brown is under contract until the Obama '12 campaign. Brown calls this "a total lack of respect."

Um, no, not really, Sheldon. It's the house having made the right call, and the cards falling the way they thought they would. Your role is to play well for the length of that deal, then get wildly overpaid by some dumb-ass AFC team for the last big payday of your life, when you are 34 and wind up playing for about half of the deal (but all of the signing bonus) before flushing out of the league. This is how it goes here. After the Brian Dawkins Experience, this should seem obvious to anyone, really.

2) If you are going to pule for big money, you really need to make more big plays.

Last year, Brown had one bad game. You might remember it; it was the NFC Championship Game. Until Larry Fitzgerald tore him a career-defining hole, Brown had been damn near pristine for 2008... and yet, as an Eagles Fan, I never *really* knew, emotionally, that he was having a great year.

Why? Because the man has gut-wrenchingly bad hands. And at age 30, that isn't going to change.

Coverage? He's also there. Tackling? Sure, solid, doesn't go for stupid kill shots, and did give Reggie Bush the ride of his life in that playoff loss a few years ago. Run support? Yes, he's not a Deion Sanders-esque coward.

But when it comes to making the couple of plays a year that help to clear the psychic slate of what a cornerback is -- i.e., a damage control manager in a zero-fail, no-win situation -- you have to get a couple back. Maybe you don't have to go all Ed Reed-ish and score more than you give up, but a touchdown or two every few years, especially when it comes in a big spot against a hated opponent (see the Lito Sheppard resume against Dallas, for instance) means a lot. If nothing else, you need to get a runback every once in a while.

In 112 career games, Brown has 14 interceptions, with 2 touchdowns. The last of those came in 2006. In the past two years, he's had four picks for 26 yards in returns, with only one of those picks coming last year. So he doesn't get a lot of picks, and when he does get them, he goes to ground.

Asante Samuel, by comparison, has 10 picks and two scores in the past two years. And that's with being the #1 CB, which is to say, getting much fewer opportunities for picks. And that's why Samuel makes ferocious bank, and no Eagle Fan has any kind of problem with that.

There's a reason for this, and that is...

3) Sheldon Brown has tragically awful hands.

Not to the point where he can't be a very good starting corner -- he is. Not to the point where he can't get paid -- he has, and could be again.

But to the point where a team is not, and should not, break the rules and the bank to make him happy.

However, and this is really crappy part of it...

4) Once a football player has gone public about being unhappy, especially in Philadelphia, he's more or less done. Especially when the team takes the time to smack him down in public, as the Eagles PR department did today.

In the current NFL, you need at least three very good corners to match up. When the Eagles signed Samuel a year ago, there was no reason why Sheppard had to go, but he was unhappy, and soon was supplanted by Joselio Hanson, who no one ever thought had more talent. But motivation is a powerful thing, and Sheppard is now a Jet. (Speaking of which, I bet Lito bounces back this year. He's young enough, has the pedigree, and will be in the clear #2 slot opposite Darrelle Revis. Jet Fan will need him to if they are going to have any chance to slow down the Patriots. But I digress.)

By popping off in public, Brown has probably forced the Eagles hand, and has in all likelihood made the team push a corner decision into their high pick consideration. Which they were probably going to do anyway, seeing how Brown is 30, but how the team also really needs a running back and a top-drawer wideout and a two-way tight end and a half dozen other things, really...

Well, no one needed this, really. Oh, and one final thing... given the state of the economy and the relative replaceability of what Brown does -- stop big plays, not make them -- there's no real guarantee that he'd get his big payday somewhere else, either.

Seeing as he's now, you know, something of a character risk, given that he took one deal, but now wants another...

A small note to Jason Peters

Welcome to the newest Eagle, who people who know a hell of a lot more than I do about line play are all kinds of excited about. He's young, good, and came at a very tolerable price, especially since the Eagles almost always blow their first round picks (rounds 2 through 4 are when they make their money).

But anyway, back to the new guy. Sir, if you want to sell a lot of jerseys -- and lets' face it, those Jon Runyon gamers aren't looking terribly stylish in Philly Fan's closet right now -- say the following magic words at your upcoming press conference in Philadelphia.

"The last thing that made me want to get the hell out of Buffalo was when they signed Terrell Owens. No way in hell was I going to play on the same team as that piece of crap."

You'll be getting the local car dealer phone calls before the presser is over...

Access

I was reading something about the death of the American Newspaper as it relates to sports the other day, and seeing how this is the kind of thing that we can spend too much thought on, let's have it, shall we?

Frankly, this blog exists on some level because I didn't continue sports journalism as a career 15+ years ago. The money just wasn't there, and by the money, I mean any money: starting salaries of $18K a year when you have college bills to pay would have had me sleeping in a car and not eating very often. Add minority hiring considerations (no complaints: the field should be as diverse as the participants), my own bad timing (the Bush I Recession) and my choice to spend my '20s chasing the music dream, and it's clear to me that the road not taken was correct. I get the same kick of creation from the day job (I'm in online advertising) without the same worries of Justify Your Economic Existence that journos are now overwhelmed by.

But, well, still. There's a reason why newspapers refer to the sports desk as the Toy Department, and that's because it really is possible to love your work, all the while knowing that you aren't going to, say, see the victims of violence and disaster as part of your 9 to 5.

Independent of the jealousy that some people might feel over making a living from writing about games, there is a strong and growing disconnect from the public to the people in the press box. As athletes get better and better at saying very little (seriously, the next person that overhears Tiger Woods saying something interesting might be the first), and the technology improves to the point where the television feed is showing you more than what the people at the stadium are seeing, the value of the hack working his or her sources and being in the locker room every day fades.

Plus, there's also this. As a 21st century sports fan (also known as someone with more of a mercenary interest than a pure fan one, thanks to the existence of casual gambling via fantasy leagues), I'm really only interested in the personal stuff if it gives me an edge in the real world.

Take, for instance, the case of Brian Dawkins, clearly the most beloved defensive football player in Philadelphia for his generation.

I know, thanks to locker room scribes, how much Dawk cared about being a team leader, and his relation to the fans. We know the origins of his spasmodic pre-game dance routine, and why he occasionally leaped around the field like he was trying out for the Wolverine role in a blaxploitation superhero movie. We know how he'd speak in tongues without resorting to profanity, and how this was a manifestation of his religious faith.

But I do not, at least not definitively, whether or not he was very good at his job anymore, or whether or not the Broncos made the right move in signing him at age 35.

My eyes tell me that he's not as effective as he used to be, and the Eagles problems in covering the tight end are also a very strong hint that they had to move on. And since I've never met Dawkins and don't have to worry about him or his teammates freezing me out if I trashed him, the only retribution I might face for my ungratefulness for his decade of outstanding service is from a nasty commenter.

The people who covered Dawkins on a day-in, day-out basis had a lot more on the table. And they were more or less quiet on the subject, just as they are on most matters of personnel assessment. I heard about Dhani Jones writing poetry and William James changing his name; what I didn't hear was that they were horrible at being football players, at least while they wore my team's laundry. And so on, and so on.

Why? Because, well, they are too close. If it makes me hurt to rip Dawk, and I've never set foot in the Eagles locker room or had more access to him than anyone else with a remote control, how much would it suck to have to write that sort of thing when you consider him something of a friend? Or that you might need him to comment on something else the week after you write your glue factory piece?

Journos are an ornery lot; if you tell them that they are compromised or complicit, they read that as corrupt and go into full shock and awe response mode (assuming they decide to give the criticism any thought at all). They are also frequently uncovering things that are of real value, if only for the fact that 90% of life is showing up, and they show up.

But to answer the questions that people like me (and if you are reading this, that also includes you) want answered, you may be better off with an obsessive geek that isn't so knee-deep in the underbrush that he can't see the forest for the trees.

And, well, as much fun as it was to learn about Dawk's quirks... well, I care more about his performance. And always will.

So how much value does that access have, anyway? (Oh, and if you want to extend this to our regrettable political coverage, please go review the entire sordid Judith Miller incarceration. This kind of thing isn't limited just to sports...)

Countdown to Clowntime

This note from the Philly Daily News (yes, it is still in operation, you miserable people -- would it kill you to buy a copy?)... ex-Eagle, current Bronco and perpetually conflicted safety Brian Dawkins wants to make his most famous fan happy by giving him his comped tickets when the Broncos play the Eagles next year in Philadelphia.

Now, several questions arise from this.

1) Will the axed fan wear one of those super-stupid split jerseys, to show that he just loves everyone?

2) Given that Dawkins' team will be starting, in all likelihood, Kyle Orton on the road with no running back and a defense whose best player might be a broken-down but very wealthy safety, will said fan change the jersey in mid-game?

3) Can Dawkins give so many interviews the week of the game that Philly Fan winds up booing him not out of disloyalty, but simple fatigue?

4) What mostly innocent utterance from Donovan McNabb will be twisted out of proportion to cause a media circus and sports radio ratings boon?, and

5) When will we know the date of the game, so we can determine whether or not the Broncos will have fired Coach / Soooper Gene Yuss Josh "Cutler Killer" McDaniels?

Bad Gear Fear

Last night on my commute home, my iPod began to malfunction. It would cut out after a few minutes, and while music would begin again with a mere click, it was annoying, and after a dozen reboots in 25 minutes, I gave up and suffered with the jabbering crosstalk that too many commutes now have. Maybe I could have played with it longer, but since I'm still wearing multiple layers (spring, my ass) since moving back to the East Coast from Northern California 2.5 years ago, that means that I can never be warm again. Seriously, I'm like a little old man here. I'll be moving to a condo in Boca and eating dinner at 3pm within weeks. But anyway, that's not where I'm going with this, so...

The point is that, having gotten used to a level of performance and consistency from my gear, I became spoiled. When the iPod went down, I still had the same magazines, laptop and Blackberry that I carry every day. My commute hadn't become terrible; it just reverted to what it was in December, before the Shooter Wife gifted me with the iPod. And suddenly, what I had been used to all that time was damn near intolerable, and all I could think of was how screwed I was if the iPod had real issues.

We all do this; once you have new and better gear, going back to the old level of performance can just seem soul-crushing. In my 20s, after the first marriage circled the bowl, I wound up moving away from my nice downtown Philly apartment, back to the same crappy part of Fishtown that I had escaped to before. It was what I had to do for economics and work, but man alive, was it soul-crushing. Bad gear is a reversion, and it strikes at every insecurity you might have ever had; progress was an illusion. Failure was your true level of performance. The bad gear is simply a manifestation of that.

Now that I've given you a sunny start to your day, let's lasso this and bring it back to sports.

As a (mostly) Philly sports fan, I live in fear of the return of bad gear. So instead of obsessing over how, say, the Sixers may have years and years to go on a crippling contract to Elton Brand that will cap their ceiling at 45 to 50 wins, I think about how nice it is that Samuel Dalembert could never ever be compared to Shawn Bradley, and how Tony DiLeo has the team playing in a way that could never be confused with The Doug Moe Era.

When other Eagles fans long and pule for the return of a messianic #1 wide receiver (this month, the eternal wanderlust that is Anquan Boldin has given way to the he might be available Braylon Edwards), I'm just hoping that the new offensive line doesn't make me remember Ron Solt.

Now, this might explain a few things (too much, really?): the acceptance of mediocrity, holding on to the memories of players that were entertaining but flawed, the hedging of allegiances and/or passion for the knowledge that, like death, taxes and people jabbering for the entire length of my commute at a volume that even the rejuvenated iPod can't mask, a reversion to a bad level is just a matter of time.

And it is, of course, a matter for willful deception of one's own intellect. The same way that every day is, really.

Just because Tra Thomas is gone does not mean that we're going to go back to turnstile tackles. The fact that the Sixers haven't had a top-level low-post scorer since Malone and Barkley does not mean that they will never have one again, or that Brand is doomed. Eric Chavez might be useful for the A's this year. They might not regret the Rich Harden salary dump in the same way that they regretted the Tim Hudson salary dump. And so on.

We may think we know what will happen, but we really don't. We might even be right more often than we are wrong (yes, I've got a little ego from the fantasy sports performance, thanks for noticing)... but teh wrongness is going to return.

The details are not written, and the details mean everything.

The Nature Of The Beast

For the past ten years, the Eagles have employed Tra Thomas to protect Donovan McNabb's blind side. He's done it well, with two All-Pro selections and three Pro Bowls on his resume.

And in perhaps the best testament to his performance, he started 165 out of 166 games. Or that the only time he's really been noticed is (a) when he tried to get his name changed (it didn't work, so he gave up), and (b) when he left.

On the list of things that Eagle Fan will worry about in this off-season, Thomas signing with the Jaguars will be low on the list. After all, he's 34 and not likely to be getting better, the team has an extremely good track record in knowing when to say goodbye, and one has to think that after a decade of making mostly good moves, they know what they are doing in replacing a fixture like him.

But, well, ten years of not worrying about a position is nice, especially given the laundry's history of revolving doors on the offensive line (imagine, if you will, what Randall Cunningham might have done with Tra Thomas and an actual coach, or whether Lawrence Taylor achieves the constant crushing on Ron Jaworski, had they simply had a tackle of Thomas's abilities)...

Well, you can worry, if you like, about the changeover at safety, or whether or not Brian Westbrook is too old for this sort of thing. Me, I'm going to be looking at the line. Hopefully, not for long.

Profiles In Dumb

The Lemur chooses for its SportsNation poll this fine spring day the question of whether or not the Eagles were right to run a part-time worker who called the team "retards" for their failure to retain Brian Dawkins. Muddying the works is the fact that the worker in question is handicapped.

A few quick points on this...

1) Why does the team care about what anyone, with the possible exception of its on-field and high office personnel, put on a freaking Facebook page? It's the online equivalent of putting a post-it note on your fridge, and in terms of actual damage to the franchise, about as destructive.

Petty tyranny is never the right PR move, especially in an off-season that uncharitable observers might call, well, penny-pinching. If the Eagles really want to spend their time cybersnooping around their part-time help's Web pages, maybe they really need to let some front-office personnel go, for lack of anything better to do with their days.

2) Having said that... why should the team treat this disgruntled worker any differently than an able-bodied worker? On this, at least, the team is on the side of the angels: they are equal opportunity heartless. If you or I were to rag on our employer on a public site, there's a reasonable chance that this would have resolved in the exact same way, only without a day-long PR circus.

3) Doesn't anyone ever realize the value of anonymity? Had this guy simply given himself a pseudonym, he'd still have his gig. And this is why, frankly, I keep the blog anonymous, because you don't want that momentary lapse of taste, judgment or sense to bite you in the hindquarters.

4) Independent of whether this was a jerk move by the organization, didn't the employee in question realize that, well, he had a job that any number of people would have given up their eyeteeth for? One that, you know, requires a small measure of tact?

The voting has, not surprisingly, not gone well for the corporate behemoth on this one: 4 to 1 against on the Lemur's poll as I write this. One wonders how much this has to do with the actual move by the team, as opposed to just the opportunity for Giants, Cowboy and Redskin Fan to dogpile on the PR dummy. Once again, my NFC East friends, enjoy winning March.

5) And as a final aside, to any Eagle Fan that wants to keep liking the Lemur despite its consistent Bahston Bias (and, um, you might also want to note that you, well, *hate* most of those teams), well, there it is, front page, with a poll. They could have ignored it; they didn't.

One might even notice, well, a pattern of such things. (Quick, get Donovan McNabb on the line! Does the team's callous treatment of this guy make you more or less interested in signing a contract extension? Is it true that you are behind the team's failure to resign Dawkins, or for that matter, Tra Thomas and Correll Buckhalter? And is there any way for us to drum up Terrell Owens again?)

And don't let the door hit you...

Posted by Tracer Bullet

Let me be the first to say it: Brian Dawkins can go to hell.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love me some Brian Dawkins. I’ve got his jersey hanging in my closet and I’ll soon have a second (gotta take advantage of those sales). He is probably the second greatest Eagle of all time behind only Concrete Charlie. When he’s elected to the Hall of Fame, and he damned well had better get elected, I’ll go to Canton and cheer like a fool.

But he can still go to hell.

I don’t begrudge the man for taking more money to go to Denver. Pro football is a mercenary business and if I was a 35-year-old safety with declining skills and somebody offered me that kind of coin, I’d sign so fast the pen would burst into flames.

But I don’t want to see him on the teevee with a snot bubble in his nose, blubbering about how hard it is to leave Philadelphia and how much he loves the fans and blah, blah, blah. Spare me.

He took the money to play for a rookie head coach on one of the worst defenses in the NFL. That was his choice. The Eagles offered him a contract. He didn’t take it. He took the Broncos and the cash. That’s all good; get paid, homie.

But he can’t pretend that he’s the injured party. He can’t drunk dial us at 3 a.m. whining about how much he misses us and he made a mistake and he’ll never love anyone like us and on and on. Dry your tears with that big-ass signing bonus, big boy, and lose my phone number. You walked out and I've moved on.

I can’t miss you until you leave, Dawk. So pack your shit and go.

One very small point about the Redskins

Earlier this week, they signed Albert Haynes- worth, the biggest name on the free agent market, to a massive deal that is making a certain kind of Eagle Fan rend their flesh in abject frustration, certain that this was the very move that they needed to do to make their team more complete.

This same variety of fan would, if pressed to it, confess to a certain jealousy of Redskin Fan, since they (at least) have an owner that's willing to DO SOMETHING and spend the money that they have available under the cap. Unlike our bean counters, who just want to sit back and dive, Scrooge McDuck-like, into their unspent cap millions and fail in the stretch for the lack of a player of Haynesworth's caliber. (Never minding, of course, his injury history, the likelihood that he's still going to be very good following a big signing, and his personal history with Andre Gurode, who he now gets to see twice a year. Sure hope Andre doesn't, you know, dive at his knees from behind at the end of a play. That would be unfortunate.)

In other, completely unrelated news -- can't see why I'd mention it at all, really -- the Redskins released Jason Taylor today, after one uneventful season in Skinland.

Really, honestly... is there anyone with half a functioning brain that actually envies Redskin Fan during the Snyder Era?

Safety Dance

For most of the last three decades, Eagle Fan has had a love affair with safeties. The Dick Vermeil Era had Randy Logan, who played in 159 consecutive games, went to a couple of Pro Bowls, and more or less managed the unique Philadelphia feat of never really getting blamed for much, since that could always be put on the corner. He also had tolerable hands for a d-back (23 career picks), was a sure tackler, and could still hurt a guy or two. And with Herm Edwards, who managed to rarely get beat because he was willing to let a guy catch 15 balls for 150 yards on short outs in front of him every game on the roster, we always had a better place to point fingers.

The Ryan Era cemented the idea that safety was going to be our favorite defensive position, as Wes Hopkins and Andre Waters were basically a heel tag-team come to life.

A brief word on the original Executioner, Wes Hopkins. If you didn't see him as a young player, before his serious injury issues, you missed a lot. Pre-Dawk, he was simply the best I ever saw in the laundry at that position. Imagine the guy you knew who killed people; now, imagine him as the fastest player on the field. Wes's wheels were so good, they used him to return punts, thought about him at corner, and tried to figure out ways to get the ball in his hands. The only problem was that he just seemed more interested in punishing the coverage team then making big yards. For those transition years before Buddy, he was the only reason to watch the team. If you only knew him for the Ryan years, you only knew about 70% of what he was: think pre-death Sean Taylor with a functioning brain. (Oh, and especially large kudos to Wes for managing to seat his wife next to his mistress so that they, too, could throw down during the game, which made the beat writers at the Daily News sick with happiness, back in the day. Moving on.)

Andre Waters (and no, no one in the area ever called him Dirty, such is the magic of the laundry) was death to knees and ankles and eventually himself, as he managed to be a feared hitter despite being more or less of a smurf. In games like the fabled "House of Pain" MNF match against the run and shoot and get concussed Oilers, they were a video game come to life.

And then, just when I was becoming convinced that we'd never see the likes of those two again, the team came up with Brian Dawkins... a man who combined exceptional coverage ability with mind-boggling hits. He was also, really, the first defensive leader that I've ever seen that was the true leader of the unit, which, given the way that the league has changed, is probably something to expect in the future.

Now, there are significantly bigger Brian Dawkins fans out there, even among the people who write on this blog. I'm too old to just adore a guy anymore, no matter how cartoonishly focused and freakishly effective he might be. To me, Dawk is simply the mirror opposite of Donovan McNabb, in that he's the best to ever play the game at his position and in this laundry, but still human, and prone to criticism/mistakes.

And unlike QB, safety is a position where age comes up fast. In recent years, Dawk seemed to pick his spots more, to lead with the helmet as he tried to will his team to victory by any means possible, and to engage in bizarre Wolverine moments on plays where it didn't seem to matter. This was on the field; off of it, he spoke in tongues, performed spasmodic dance routines, screamed at teammates and generally behaved as if his life depended on winning the game. Is there any wonder we all loved him? He was, mentally, what every fan wants every player to be.

The famous flying leap he threw at Plexico Burress, shown above, was at the end of third-down completion for a first, didn't actually make much contact with Plax, and at the time, just seemed silly. Now, of course, it might be the defining image of his tenure.

The rest of the Eagle writing blogosphere is deeply bent over the idea that Dawk isn't going to retire in harness, but to me, it's almost better. I don't want my memories of the man to be clouded with his last days, where he's getting smoked in coverage, receiving media mouth jobs on plays where he gets to the pile late, and getting lauded for his pre-game hype session like that's an in-game contribution. Leave that, please, to Ray Lewis. Our guy has more class than that.

Rather, instead, see him for what he is today: an aging player in a position where age is exposed with cruelty. The Eagles are better off giving time to the Quentins (Demps and Mikell) at this point, and the big money to someone else, given the large number of holes that are on the roster. If you believe in the young linebackers, you're better off locking those guys, rather then paying off the final days of the Dawk Appreciation Tour.

And I write all that with the full knowledge that lightning is going to strike me dead any minute now, because Dawk might be the most beloved defensive player since Jerome Brown. (We like our heroes to be infallible in this town, and you don't get any more mistake-free then dead.)

Meanwhile, Dawk's new team is in severe upheaval, given that Jay Cutler is throwing a snitfit over being shopped in Cassel-Gate, and Brandon Marshall is getting arrested (again). Dawk's going to wind up playing his final days for a mediocre team in a terrible division, for a coach that's younger than he is, and probably watching Eagles games on satellite with a bored Correll Buckhalter. I suspect he's already regretting the decision. Being the new John Lynch is just kinda sad.

Finally, I'd like to say something about the original point of the piece: Eagle Fan has come to expect some things from their safeties. First, that they will last longer than the usual in-and-out member of the secondary. Second, that they will hit like a man fighting for his life. Third, that they will play with emotion. And fourth, that if they fail in coverage, it's probably the corner, linebacker, or line's fault for not knowing the assignment and/or not getting to the QB in time.

It will be highly interesting to see if the same rules apply to the next wave.

End of the line

As NFL Free Agency moves into the hyper-mode stage that makes some kinds of fans damn near nauseous with uncertainty (you know who you are, Tracer Bullet), there's been high amounts of turnover in the Eagles defensive secondary. Clearly, it's the end of an era, and it's something that requires comment. I speak, of course, about Sean Considine's decision to sign with Jacksonville.

Who of us could ever forget when Considine first made his presence felt in the lineup? With his combination of not quite enough size and not quite enough speed, he was, well, white. Frequent contributions on special teams, and the fact that he didn't play corner while getting roasted against the Patriots in the Super Bowl, made us all realize that he wasn't, in fact, Matt Ware. That was important.

In 2005, he was drafted in the fourth round, out of Iowa. In 2007, he was a starter as the Eagles decided that Michael Lewis was a better author than football player. After suffering an injury, he got Wally Pipped by Quentin Mikell, much to the relief of Eagle Fans who liked him well enough on special teams, but weren't too thrilled to see opposing team's seam routes and tight ends rack up the yards.

And now, he goes to just another AFC team, which is nice, in that we'll probably never have to see him in the wrong laundry, getting his revenge. But personally, I'm going to be ordering his 37 number in teal (it's slimming!) and wearing it to the Linc next year, just to show the current regime how bent I am that they wouldn't sign the same old talent when they are so far under the cap. You'll also be hearing me on sports talk tadio, sounding as if I've lost a family member. It's only right.

(And seriously... Godspeed, Dawk. See you in Canton.)

Blogrolling for a cold February Tuesday

Let's start it out with some alt-country, just because that's the vibe of the day, folks.



Major League Jerk with the Phillies preview. These are always fun when the writer hates the team, but has to have respect anyway.

Nerf is 40. You are old. And kids today are pussies for not being able to throw a real ball. This message is brought to you by the Shooter Brother, who is even older than me, and never cottoned to such nancy-boy foam. He also never got why I used to hide in the ease closets to avoid getting into games with him and his friends...

My old editor is still pushing the poon over at the Carnival. Nice moment here for Reggie Bush to have to suffer through his girlfriend's thing. Stars! They're just like us!

Media Post slobs the NHL's knob for, among other things, the outdoor game in Wrigley, embracing YouTube, and having increased ratings for its games on NBC and the Stanley Cup Finals, Personally, I think it's just that they've been away from the Lemur's clutches.

And finally, Eagles Porn to warm up the soul, as Brian Dawkins does his Wolverine impersonation on the Super Bowl winning QB. I think you'll be safe wearing his jersey in town for decades to come.

Blogrolling on only $500K a year

Oh noes! Trail Blazer and Seahawk owner and my one-time lying sack of guano employer Paul Allen is going to lose control over one of his biggest holdings in a bankruptcy! How will I ever wipe the smile off my face? (Special Note to Seahawk Fan: Your owner is the reason why the refs were in the tank for the Steelers in the Super Bowl. Special note to Blazer Fan: Your owner is the reason why Greg Oden keeps getting hurt. Special note to Paul Allen: Karma's a bitch, isn't it?)

Punch in any Web site, get a cool word picture. It's oddly stimulating.

Simon on Sports gives the time and dates for when Peyton Manning will erase Brett Favre from the record books, thereby provoking an even more pathetic comeback from the Gunslinger. You're never getting away from these people, folks.

Poor banking dears in NYC just can't live on $500K a year. If you can read this without wanting to set some rich prick on fire, you're a better man than me. Or is that worse?

Nick Underhill goes down the A-Rod / Selig path and finds them all reprehensible. I applaud his brave stand.

SSR visits with our old friend Fred Mitchell, the very devoted Fed Ex customer. Yes, I'm still wondering what the Eagles would look like with Reggie Wayne instead of him. And with that, it's off to cry myself to sleep yet again...

Blogrolling: The Lion Way

World of Isaac breaks the fact that the Lions put Roy Williams on their calendar... for 2009. I can't fault the front office too much for this, though. Why should they watch that team enough to know that Williams is now a Cowboy? Besides, it's not like Roy was ever heard from again after he went to Texas...

Fighting terror with underwear. Worth a click purely for the name of the organization.

Eagle Fan getting way too excited about Anquan Boldin. We just never, ever, stop dreaming that Big Star Wide Receiver will come again to absolve us of all of our sins...

Top 10 ways to pick at the festering scab that is the Eagles loss

No, kids, I'm still not over it 24 hours later, and probably won't be for another week or so. Won't you wallow with me?

10) Local sports radio. I don't have enough courage to wade into the dregs of humanity working through their stages of grief by listening live, but you might. Don't say I didn't warn you.

9) Play by play recreations. My favorite is when Tim Hightower runs 15 yards behind his line of scrimmage on a fourth and one, before turning it upfield for the conversion. Had someone stopped him -- and yes, there were possibilities -- a red-hot offense has the ball at midfield with a chance to put it on ice. Yes, it was something of a Turning Point.

8) Listening to the Bad Tooth's podcast. Shockingly, Little William doesn't want to go to the SB, because he's having too good of a time driving around SoCal, isn't ready to subject himself to the indignities of Tampa, and, let's face it, he's just not that into it unless the Patriots are there. He's also still crying over his second-round playoff losses in a way that can only be described as Hellmuthian. Someone, please, go take out Matt Cassel's knee on a borderline late hit. It's necessary.

A moment of honesty about his overwhelming obnoxiousness is all that I ask. That, and smashing his own head in with a hammer. DO IT, BILLY. DO IT...

7) Game by game breakdowns of the Eagles season to show how easily it would have been to get home-field for the championship game, because I'm really not feeling the Cardinals winning that game on the road, in cold weather.

Here, let me do it for you: beat the Bengals, get past the Redskins and/or edge those ferocious Kyle Orton Bears. Voila, you've knocked the Giants out of the top spot in the East, and you host the game. It's fun!

6) Obsess over how bad the offensive line will be in 2009 without Jon Runyan, Tra Thomas and (shh!) Shawn Andrews. Donovan McNabb might not want to be back.

5) Become convinced that the 2009 schedule will be deadly, since the AFC West has to come back big next year, right?

4) Read all of the various game accounts in the local papers. You think Philly Fan is bitter? Think about the plight of Philly Sportswriter, who gets another year of No Quote Andy and the I Have To Coach Better Players. They might be the only people in Philadelphia who long for more of That Cowboy Feel.

3) Listening to Andy Reid's defenders. Since this 9-win team made it to the Final Four, everything has to be the same as this year... despite the fact that he traded for the worthless Lorenzo Booker, continues to employ Greg Lewis for no good reason, can't run the ball even when it's working, made LJ Smith a franchise player, should not be given a challenge flag along the same lines as taking away an Alzheimer sufferer's car keys, and... well, I'd continue here, but lists should not be novels. Moving on.

2) Listening to Donovan McNabb's detractors. 375 yards and 3 touchdowns on the road. A 19-point comeback with no running plays of note. OK, he's not perfect, but for heaven's sake... he's not the guy who didn't cover Larry Fitzgerald. That's Asante Samuel. He's not the guy that didn't make the running play stop on Hightower that could have sealed it. That's Quentin Mikell and Brian Dawkins. He's not the numbnuts who late hits Warner to give the Cardinals a gift field goal before the half. That's Quentin Demps. He's not the guy that missed a field goal and a PAT. That's David Akers. He's not the guy who slips on the fourth down throw and can't catch a perfect ball. That's Kevin Curtis.

Seriously, people, get a grip. Number Five isn't perfect, but he's the best player on the team. And when he leaves -- not Reid, McNabb -- this team is below .500.

1) Comparing the pain of this loss to the NFC Championship losses to the Rams, Panthers or Buccaneers, or the SB loss to the Patriots. What agony is your favorite? For sheer bloodcurdling madness, I think I'd go with the Buccaneers, but each, really, has its charms.

And with that, I'm going back to the liquor cabinet. Play me out, Bob...

Top 11 Consolations for Eagles Fan

Yes, I'm feeling the pain, folks. But if you don't take it, you can never dish it out.

11) The Super Bowl is in Florida, and you know how Donovan McNabb goes all Chunky Soup in Sunshine State Super Bowls (unfortunately, 2010 is in Miami)

10) After this game, David Akers has only three or four last straws

9) If they had won it all, Brian Dawkins might have retired, rather than in some other game where he's not a factor

8) More Brenda Warner on screen time means that the entire world will share our pain

7) By making it to the Final 4, you get one more year, at least, of the Don n' Andy Show. That's a consolation, right?

6) If today didn't settle the Brent Celek / LJ Smith tight end position battle, nothing ever will

5) Buffalo Bills Fan still had it worse

4) It was a pretty close game for a team that only played for a half

3) Giants, Cowboys and Redskins Fan are happier today, but by no means happy

2) You didn't really want your championship to come from a 9-6-1 team that got in by the skin of its teeth, did you?

1) The Steelers would have taken them apart anyway

Closing Time

Seven quick thoughts as we prepare for the nightcap game that will determine the winning team in the Super Bowl...

> Larry Freaking Fitzgerald is now the most productive WR in single-season NFL playoff history. And that's why Giants Fan is still bitter, because Plax Burress does the same thing to the Eagles that Larry just did, albeit not quite so graphically.

> Some will want to roast Donovan McNabb for this one, and yes, he could have been a lot more accurate early and on the last real drive. But he led an offense that scored 25 points on the road, and had a lead in the fourth quarter. I'd say 80% of the failure here today was on the defense, the unit that gave you the most confidence into the game.

> Oh, and David Akers? Dead to me. DEAD.

> For any Eagles Fan that wants to decry individual plays, the fact is that if the refs call the Cards' quasi-fake kickoff correctly, or if DeSean Jackson doesn't force a fumble on the first half pick, the game is too far out of reach to even have drama late. You can't fall down by 18 on the road and make any mistake.

> Can you name a single Eagles' defensive player that played well today? Maybe Abimiri and Trent Cole, but those are both maybes. For the Cards, Adrian Wilson finally made the bright lights. He's good, folks.

> You'd like to take the Non-Spoiled Rotten Fan view here. Five championship games in eight years is pretty great. Winning on the road is tough, no matter who the opponent is. Larry Fitzgerald was just not to be denied.

But dammit, we're all back to where we were in November... wondering if this team will ever be anything more than an exceptionally cruel tease. Wondering why Andy Reid is so good coming off a bye week, and so bad in a championship. Wondering why the LBs can never come through in a big game, or why the play-calling has to be so pass-wacky (47 to 18, though Don did have 375 yards and 3 TDs today) all the time.

Wondering, in short, why they have to be so damned inconsistent. Erratic. Maddening.

So, um, folks? Final Four ain't good enough, not that anyone else will come in and do any better. If you lose Reid and McNabb, you are in single-digit wins and no championship... which is, well, what they did this year, too. Maybe they finally break through next year, but if there's an Eagle Fan out there that will tell you that they were satisfied by this year, or confident about next...

Well, I'd love to be that guy. But I'm not, not anymore. So, final point...

> Resign, Fat Man. (In 2010, after you choke another one.)

NFC Championship Actually Live Blog: Eagles v. Cardinals

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