And where there were no sand, we ate Blogrolling. (You ate what?) We ate Blogrolling.

Why Citi Field is just so twee, so pwecious, so Mets. And yet another reason why new ballparks suck, and should be actively worked against by a more mature, post-recession, America. (This is a whole 'nother post, one that longtime FTT readers probably already know, but so be it.)

Is there anything more frightening than the phrase "ESPN Innovation Lab"? I'm seeing a "Clockwork Orange" kind of situation in which I'm forced to watch a continual loop of Home Run Derby, Who's Next and Pardon The Braying Jackassery. Quite Frankly, I think this is just a Lemur move to get the hell out of the armpit that is Bristol, Connecticut... but don't tell Red Sox Nation. They'll get bent if they lose NESN2, aka ESPN, and we know what happens when those very special people face adversity.

Your $1 magazine that features nothing but random mug shots from random arrests, which made my brain give me nothing but "Raising Arizona" references for a half hour. Turn to the right!

Nick Underhill gives the heads-up on Tigers' pitcher Rick Porcello, who might be historically good. Useful to know.

Tom Scocca points out that the NBA marketing machine is also Kobe vs. Not Kobe; I'll even forgive him the snotty Bird/Erving aside. That's what happens when you're (a) really good, and (b) really reprehensible. But remember, Philly Fan was bad, bad, bad for booing him as the All-Star Game MVP. (Once again, score one for my town's ability to spot a problem before it's obvious.)

Things I've learned while in a diseased state

Last night after my poker game wound up (lost in the tournament on pairs versus overs, lost in the cash game late on some donkey plays), I was puttering around and playing a computer game. I then felt a stronger reaction than usual to the bad poker playing regrets, and have spent the time since dealing with illness and staring dully at NBA playoff games, NFL draft coverage, and my fantasy baseball teams, all while clutching my stomach and moaning. Good times! It's also been long enough now that I can actually sit up and type without feeling like I'm going to see that Friday Night Salsa again. Ow. Owwww. Owwwwww....

> Avery Johnson might have the most annoying voice in television history.

Actually, scratch that. Maybe just the most annoying person. Even when the guy is saying something I agree with on the Lemur's coverage, I kind of want to hit him in the face with a brick.



> When you find yourself switching off from what might be the most important day of the year for your NFL team to 2007 poker highlights... well, let's just say that when you're ill, the last people you want to spend time with are Chris Berman and Mel Kiper, Jr.

> HDTV is doing Nancy Lieberman no favors. And the Lemur knows it to near comical levels, as they have her turn halfway around and step out of the shot during interviews, and cut away as fast as possible on her little quotes. It's almost endearing, really.

> When Tony Parker, Dwayne Wade and Kobe Bryant want to score, they do. And yet the Spurs have so little else -- basically the last dregs of Tim Duncan and a superb coaching job to make guys like Matt Bonner, Bruce Bowen and Drew Gooden appear to be part of a playoff rotation -- that the Mavs are winning this series, going away.

> The ugliest fan in the NBA is Utah Fan, and on some level, I really enjoy the annual show of Bryant sticking it to them hard. You live in Utah, your beloved dead owner was a homophobic turd, and watching your bitter old man coach lose is always serious fun. But by all means, tell me how Deron Williams is better than Chris Paul some more, and how much you respect Matt Harpring. That's always fun. (At least Sloan admits that they have no answer for him.)

> If Lamar Odom got to play against the Jazz every game, he'd be an All-Star. Carlos Boozer is the guy with the paycheck and the statistics, but Odom just eats him, and every other forward the Jazz throw at him, alive.

> New Orleans did everything possible in the last minutes against Denver to end the series by going down 3-0, but Carmelo Anthony and Chauncey Billups couldn't seal the comebacking deal. Normally, you'd still give the edge to the Nuggets to close it out, because the Hornets keep giving minutes and shots to Peja Stojakavoic, and he's utterly terrible right now. But it's not as if the Nugs don't have their own chuckleheads on the roster, or any kind of playoff track record of success (Melo has never been out of the first round).

> Rooting for the Raiders must be like caring for an aged relative that refuses to, well, accept their limitations. Today, they spent their first round pick on a WR with the best time in the 40 yard dash (rather than, say, the best WR), and their second round pick on a guy that even the Lemur had no film of. His name is Michael Moore, and I was able to find a picture of him on the Internets, which is posted above.

Seriously, at what point can the NFL take this team over and make Al Davis go to the home? (Oh, and thanks once again to them for allowing the Eagles to have a playoff run last year. Good on ya.)

> Speaking of my Eagles, I'm a little puzzled as to why you take a WR in the first round when you (a) have reasonable depth at the position, (b) probably need a running back and tight end more, and (c) might have a glaring problem at cornerback if Sheldon Brown is going into Operation Shutdown Mode. But, well, they know more than I do about such things, and when your draft doesn't make the Lemur heads assume the position (ooh, Mark Sanchez, your leadership skills and intangibles make me weak in the knees!), you are probably doing something right.

> Not sports and all, but is there anything that shows the utter irrelevance and navel-gazing ways of the Meedja than the relentless Obama's First 100 Days coverage? I'm on board with the guy, and even I don't give what passed out of me this morning. But by thunder, there's nothing that's going to stop this wanking, so grab it with both hands and go, you utter... well, moving on.

Blogrolling Gets Furry

Cold Hard Football Facts with an in-depth examination of what the old AFL was really like, and the answer may surprise you. That assumes, of course, that you are freaking old and/or interested in pro football history, both of which have their advantages, really.

A Russian man takes the not so easy way out from a nagging spouse. Seriously, don't miss this one. Oh, liquor, is there anything that you can't do?

Isiah Thomas knows what it's like not to eat. Of course, he's also still making $12 million a year from the Knicks for all that he's done for them. Anyway, enjoy him, Florida International!

Sixers beat the non-LeBron Cavs, and the Bulls lose to the closing strong Raptors, which means my home town team gets the potentially crippled Magic (Hedo Turkoglu, their fourth quarter man, ain't right), rather than the so not necessary defending champion Celtics. I'm camping much more happily, even if I'm still not seeing an upset... even though I just saw Avery Johnson say it on the tee vee. Woo!

MLJ makes the very good point that no one should want to go to an MLB All-Star Game in July. That also assumes that anyone would ever want to go to Arizona at any time. Seriously, it's like all of the really regrettable old white people from Florida emigrated at once.

And isn't this nice -- an alleged rapist, philanderer and anal enthusiast gets to be on Sesame Street. Elmo wants Kobe to stop touching him there!

I Got Your MVP Right Here

I sat down tonight with a sense of doom for my treasured laundry, as the Sixers started a five game road trip in Los Angeles against the Kobes. Considering that the Cavs had already won by the time of the opening tip, meaning that the Lake Show had to win to keep pace for best overall record (and home court, and Kobe's MVP hopes), I didn't have much hope for a win. But the first game of a road trip is usually when have your best legs, and the team has won their last three, so...

The first half began badly, with the starting unit stumbling around, but the Lakers didn't take full advantage. The bench play of Lou Williams got it back to a 4 point deficit at the end of the first. In the second, Williams kept up his great play, Andre Iguodala was able to get Kobe to the bench with foul trouble, and Thaddeus Young continued to assert himself. Hell, even Samuel Dalembert played well, despite Pau Gasol carrying the home team. Only a long Sasha Vujacic three, and the road team's continued inability to score from the 3-point line, kept them from a lead. At the half, it was 50-50.

In the third, Kobe picked up his fourth on yet another cheap shot on Iggy -- seriously, if this was the playground, Kobe should be missing some teeth -- continuing to point to a close game. Unfortunately for the Sixers, less Kobe just means more Gasol and Lamar Odom, and like most teams in the Association, coping with the Lakers' big men is a serious problem. With Kobe on the bench, the Lakers expanded the lead with good ball movement and better defense, and at the end of three, it was Lakers 73, Sixers 62 -- the home team's largest lead of the game, closing the quarter on a 10-0 run.

Iguodala got hot in the fourth, and after a Donyell Marshall (wow, he's still in the league, and even useful in small doses, seeing how he's shooting 61% from the three-point line in the fourth quarter of games this year) three and an Iguodala three-point play, it was 80-75. Three straight stops and scores even gave the road dogs the lead at 81-80, a 19-4 run to start the fourth. Jackson called time, and as I looked at the box score, the reigning MVP was -9 in plus/minus, on 4 of 11 shooting with 4 turnovers. Not something you see very often.

Kobe missed, and Reggie Evans got a no-call putback that had the home crowd howling. Odom missed the tying three, and Marshall drilled the answer, and it was, amazingly, 86-80 with five minutes to play. Trevor Ariza got an answering three, Royal Ivey forced a bad miss, and after a Laker team rebound after a Jordan Farmer miss, Ivey redeemed himself with a steal and assist to Williams. Kobe forced a horrible three, but Marshall couldn't keep the board, and Gasol got a putback.

Kobe then (finally) passed out of the double-team to Gasol, who was fouled by Marshall at the rim. Miller missed a flat footed, no one near him three -- just, in a nutshell, what keeps him being an elite guard. Odom replies with a deuce, but Marshall gives the road team the lead again with a three, just unreal, his third in seven minutes after not playing a minute all night. After a long three miss, the Lakers did the smart thing of getting the ball to Gasol, who abused Marshall for two three throws for the tie, with 100 seconds to go.

Williams gets to the rim, but can't finish; Evans can't get the board. Kobe misses again. Miller turns it over. Gasol misses a layup where Evans got away with contact. Williams goes to the rim again, but Gasol denies him. Wild action, back and forth, no time outs, just the kind of end-game you never see, but always should.

And then, in what you would think would be the only moment that anyone will notice or remember thanks to SportsCenter Nation, Kobe hits over Iguodala with 6.6 seconds left to give the home team a 93-91 lead. Just wrong. With the make, Kobe is now 5 for 15. What an MVP...

And just as I was putting this to bed with hate, Iguodala hits the game-winning three over Ariza for the win. The refs look at the tape, and screw you, Kobe. Ballgame, Sixers.

THAT. WAS. AWESOME.

(Oh, and in the post-game interview, Iggy tells us that he waved off the coach's idea of getting to the rim, saying he was going to win the game right here. Well, all right then, Mr. 1 for 7 from the arc, Mr. Thirty Percent Three Point Shooter, Mr. FREAKING AWESOME. You have Large Sack.

* * * * *

Honestly, between the three point failures and the big man defense moments, watching the Sixers is like watching a pro version of the old-time John Chaney Temple Owls. At one point in the third, the game was tied, and the Sixers had 15 more shot attempts. Hard way to win games.

The thing about this Sixers team is that despite their obvious and should be crushing failings, they remain compelling. When they bring defensive intensity, with Dalembert blocking shots, they appear to be much more than the sum of their parts. When Miller is working the ancient kung fu magic that is a mid-range game (honestly, is there any other point guard outside of college that routinely makes bank shots?), it's downright retro-cool.

And when Iguodala is hitting from outside and fooling you into thinking that he's a top 20 player, or when Young appears to be on the cusp of actual stardom...

Well, a man can dream of an actual first-round playoff series win. Not that it can realistically happen, not without some dependable half-court scoring options (and yes, that's why they signed Elton Brand) and some actually consistent three point production. Too many things have to go well for this team to win, and at the top levels in the Assocation, that just doesn't happen.

Or, um, does it? Jack Nicholson is slapping some starlet right now, just to show me that sometimes, the world does go my way. Good to know.

A final point. I've seen bad Sixers teams; I've seen unwatchable ones. I've also seen frustrating or exasperating squads that squandered their talents, got their coach fired, and more or less insulted the intelligence of anyone that spent time on them.

This team isn't one of those. Not by a long shot. Go, team, go.

Why does anyone think there is an NBA MVP race?

Association fans seem to be frothing at the mouth about a three-way race for the top dog spot. Let's begin, and hopefully end, with some numbers.

LeBron James - 28.5 points per game, 7.5 rebounds, 7.2 assists, 1.76 steals, 1.27 blocks, shooting 48.7% from the floor and 77.2% from the line. The Cavs are 53-13.

Kobe Bryant - 28.0 ppg, 5.4 rpg, 4.9 apg, 1.27 spg, .47 bpg, shooting 47.5% from the floor and 86.8% from the line. The Lakers are 53-13.

Dwayne Wade - 29.9 ppg, 5.1 rpg, 7.6 apg, 2.26 spg, 1.41 bpg, shooting 49.3% from the floor and 76.7% from the line. The Heat are 36-30.

Now, let's see. One player has the best numbers in five categories, but his team is only six games over .500. Another has the best record in the toughest conference (and I'm sorry, West fans, but that's no longer you -- six out of the seven worst records in the league belong to you, and seeing how you don't have the defending NBA champions, the only argument you've got for being the better conference is historical), along with terrific all-around numbers; he's also got a pretty ordinary supporting cast. The final guy is more or less having the same year he's had for the past five years, give or take a little better shooting and less boards and assists, because his minutes are down.

And the choice for MVP is... um, really, still Kobe? At least for the Lemur's Chris Sheridan, who might be just trying to do that Bad Tooth thing that sports radio does, or might just be a freaking idiot.

Look, I don't have that much skin in the game. I'm not a Heat fan, or a Cavs fan, and my Laker Hate is greatly exceeded by my Celtic Hate, my general Spur Disdain, and my continued Maverick Shadenfraude. I like my Sixers, and fah on all of you for not feeling the love for our 6th seed finish and one-and-done against the Dwight Howards. But honestly, what exactly does the best player in the league have to do to be recognized as such?

Unlike the reigning MVP, King James does not have an All-Star offensive center with kitten-soft hands in his prime (aka, Pau Gasol). Kobe has the coach with the most rings of any active active, while LeBron has to make do with a guy (Mike Brown) that frequently does not seem to be able to find his sizable pantload with both hands and a map.

It's not even like the voters are rewarding the proven playoff performer. Kobe's el foldos against the Suns and Celtics were something even his most ardent apologists have a hard time getting past, where LeBron has fairly heroic doomed efforts against a home-court Celtics team that had three out of the four best players in the series, and a Spurs team that enjoyed similar representation.

Oh, and there's also this. LeBron James has never been accused in a public court of anal rape, along with an admitted case of marital infidelity. Pardon me for failing to Obey My Thirst and just forget about all of that. Pardon me, really, as the father of daughters for *never* forgetting that, and thinking that but for his money and fame, he'd be doing just about the hardest time that there is. And a final pardon, really, for making you remember that your hero had to defend his use of the back door screen in a jury setting.

Now, if you want to argue that Dwayne Wade should be the MVP, I'll take that. He's got ridiculous talent, slightly better numbers than LeBron, and unlike Kobe, isn't just having the same year he always has. I'd argue that the Heat would need to at least get into the top 4 in the East to make Wade a remote argument, but they do still have a fifth of the season to play, and that's not impossible. I'd still probably not buy the argument, because the Heat won't be catching the Cavs on record, and I think their talent is quite comparable. But at least you'd have an argument.

But this abject Kobe Worship... you do realize, Sheridan and the rest of Mamba Harem, that no matter how much you kiss the loon's ass, he still likes it a little rougher than that, right? Just, um, checking...

Blogrolling Without Relevance

Bill Baer at Baseball Daily Digest doesn't care about baseball's Hall of Fame anymore. It's a decent read, but the bigger question is this... why should anyone care about any sport's Hall of Fame? Quick, name me the best eligible NFL player who isn't in. Or the best NBA guy. (Hell, most of you won't even be able to tell me where the latter is located -- and by the way, NBA, feel free to throw Springfield under the bus and put it in New York already. There's no rule that your sport's hall has to be in some bucolic little town; it's not hitting the same audience.) Anyway, go give it a read.

I have readers (honest!) who think the blog should cover the NHL more. You know what the real trouble is? I just haven't been paying enough attention to the hockey lines. No, seriously, there are NHL Handicappers, lots of them, with over/under bets that seem to go all the way from 5.5 to 6.0 goals per game. Sadly, there's no over/under on how many defensive "Hockey is great! You just haven't given it a chance!"e-mails I'll get from daring to question the sanity of hockey over/under lines...

The great David Roth previews Steelers-Ravens in a column that, I'm sure, is the only one of its kind to use the word "doofily." I approve with the whole of my heart.



And finally, this fairly humorous long form ad from Kobe Bryant and Nike; I especially like the pointless horse. Though, given Mr. Bryant's past history, a broken ankle is not the body part I'd be worried about...

The Euro Menace

A while back in a list for Epic Carnival, I wondered what the US economic picture might mean to sports, including notes that leagues in other countries were going to be able to start making competitive runs at free agents. It's already happening now in hoop, though more from currency evaluation than anything else.

Carlos Delfino is a reasonable back end of the rotation option, a point with size who can defend well enough to get minutes in Detroit a few years ago. He doesn't score well enough to be anyone's idea of a great starting option, and he's too old to have breakout potential, but he's still someone who could play 15 to 20 minutes a night for a playoff team.

He's also someone that's going to make the equivalent of nine million dollars to play basketball next year... in Russia, for Khimki BC.

Part of it is being paid in Euros. Another part is missing some taxes. And Delfino is merely the start of the trend. Juan Carlos Navarro is returning to Barcelona after a year in Memphis for similar reasons. Jorge Garbajosa won't be in the Association either, having last played for the Raptors. More guys that you haven't heard of (not that you've probably heard of Delfino, Navarro or Garbajosa) are in the wings.

Now, this really won't affect the level of play next year; these guys were replacement level players. But it doesn't take an awful lot of imagination to think about a Euro team who is really looking to make a splash upping the ante in a few years to bring an international player home. Your Nowitzkis, Gasols, Mings et al -- they'd be missed. And then, it really wouldn't be straining the imagination to see someone really go full throttle for a money-hungry American.

What better way, say, for Kobe Bryant to end his career than by going back to the Italy of his childhood, where he can be the reverse Beckham?

Update... Welcome, Deadspin Hordes. You can also add Bostjan Nachbar to the list above, who just inked a 3-year, $41 million (equivalent) deal to toil for Dynamo Moscow, rather than the Nets.

He was actually OK for them last year, with nearly 10 points a game in 22 minutes, but after the Nets dealt Richard Jefferson to the Bucks for Yi Jianlian and Bobby Simmons, I guess he wasn't seeing the floor time... and he certainly wasn't seeing nearly $14 million a year. Add the boom times in Russian oil production to the Euro Menace factor, really.

And an even further Update... Josh Childress signs for monster dollars to play in Greece. Childress is a definite plus bench player as a shooting guard / small forward, with good ratio numbers and all-around performance, that has failed in previous attempts at a starter. He's the first guy to go who has been ownable in a deeper roto league.

A Stanford kid, he's also someone that probably doesn't quake with terror at the idea of living without the usual creature comforts and familiarity... and he's going to be making an absurd amount, even in NBA dollars, to be in Greece. He also has an opt-out after every year, so if he completely rules the world over there, he might be making more. Here's the final point of terror for Stern and the NBA teams: the team that he signed with has, of course, no salary cap. Fans of non-American hegemony, this is your day!

Today's Worst Petty Controversey

What, more than Shaq-Fu? It's Team USA's odd insistence on having three point guards (including the utterly spent Jason Kidd) on the 2008 Olympic team, and how the team is going to lack bigs, because they didn't get Duncan, Garnett or even Tyson Chandler. (Because when you have Dwight Howard, Carlos Boozer and Chris Bosh, you have no bigs, you see.)

Is this the best possible 12-man roster? Of course not; Kidd's there and Michael Redd is the only drop dead shooter. On the other hand, they could play a spectacular defensive team with Deron Williams at the 1, Kobe and LeBron on the wings, Tayshaun Prince at the 4 and Bosh at the 5; you pressure all over and live on transition.

But let's not, please, get into The Horror of thinking that they can't win because they don't have enough bigs. Or, if you are going to go that way, please do me the small favor of calling out the player who you think was a mistake to put on the roster. I'm doing that with Kidd, who can't shoot, is old, doesn't help you in half court and can't defend quick points anymore. Other than that, he's just great. Assuming you don't mind the fact that he hits women and kills coaches. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Finally, people in the US need to understand that Olympic / International hoop is not the same as NBA hoop. The foul calls that you get in the NBA don't exist. Mid-range and three-point shooting is almost to a college level of importance. The larger paint area means that passing big men are spectacularly useful, and penetrating guards aren't as big of an edge. So the traditional US strengths -- taking your man off the dribble, shot blocking athleticism, and on-the-ball pressure -- are all disregarded. Add in the curious choice of Duke's Coach K to lead them, and it's a horse designed by a committee, which is a camel... and not really suited for the task.

(Plus, there's also this -- they have to go to China and try to win in the most partisan Olympic environment since Los Angeles 1984, or Munich 1972, or Berlin 1936. Let's just say that I'm not counting on impartial refereeing, or giving much of a damn...)

Epic Drop: Top 12 Reasons Why The Celtics Shot 28 More Free Throws Than The Lakers In Game Two

Your list is here, and if you think this is just another cheap excuse to make a Colorado joke at Kobe's expense... well, you know me, reader. You know me. (But hey, no Tim Donaghy joke! See, there is actual new content from time to time, honest!)

Lakers-Celtics Game Two, Third Quarter: This Way To Garbage Time

> Starts with Gasol not getting the roll, Perkins getting the o board, and Allen hitting. It's 14. Fisher misses a wide open 3, and so far, the Lake Show looks even worse with body language. Perkins gets to the line and hits both, and it's 16, the Celtics' largest lead. Is this going to be a game at all? Odom hits an open jumper, and for a great defensive team, the Celtics really do seem to give up a lot of open looks. It really is very erratic, their defense; there are stretches where you don't imagine how anyone scores against them, and then others where they look no better than ordinary. One suspects this is what happens when you are doing it more with emotion than coaching...

> A microcosm moment: Kobe drives (!), get to the rack, and scores... and gets called for the instant technical when he barks about not getting a call. Didn't anyone tell the refs that the MVP usually gets a call, or at the very least, the benefit of not getting the T when they question not getting the call?

> Pierce turns, and again, the Celts are keeping a team that isn't playing well around. Odom misses a jam on KG pressure, and Pierce hits a 3, making it 16 again. Maybe they really are just the better team? Perkins takes a foul on the play for no good reason, and it's his fourth, and it's telling.. Refs give a cheapie to Pierce, his third, and Radmanovic answers with a three. The Lakers are picking it up.

> Bryant hits a tough driving bank. One suspects that he's going to, at some point, just decide to make the refs look ridiculous by driving and forcing it... and he's starting to hit. Gets to the line against Allen, finally, and hits both to cut it back to 13. Rondo turns and gets his third. Bryant to Odom to Gasol for a slam, and the Lakers have a definite pulse.

> Pierce misses, but KG boards and abuses Odom; Bryant gets a roll and is now 7 of 14 from the field. Rondo misses badly. Gasol hits a flat footed free throw for two, and the guys in purple have remarkably better body language. It's 9. Bryant is animated on the bench, and the crowd seems anxious. Very interesting.

> A Pierce miss, and this is what's lacking from Kobe's game -- they have numbers, and he doesn't push. Sloppiness ensues from that, really. Radmanovic misses, and Pierce answers. One suspects that if Bryant didn't have the foul trouble, he'd be on him... but Kobe's passive again, and Radmanovic is killing them on both ends, as Pierce scores again on a back door cut. Bryant misses and gets no call, and the Celtics answer again, and the lead is 15. Bryant misses a long and bad 3, but the Lakers keep it on Odom spiking the ball on an out of bounds Brown. Walton misses, and Bryant is showing more care to the refs than the game. Allen 3 makes it 18. A Kobe turn, and Rondo to Powe makes it 20, and, in all likelihood, the 2-0 series lead.

Who said the Celtics don't have definitive runs? That was 11-4 in a heartbeat, with no Phil Jackson timeout (note that no analyst is calling him on that), with no Bryant drive to force a call, with no traps on Rondo to make it difficult on him (he's got 11 assists already)... I swear, it's like the team have changed jerseys. And coaches.

> With 1:20 left in the third, Jackson benches Bryant. Telling. Will the Lakers bench make this at all intersting? Odom picks up his fifth on a drive to the hoop, and, um, you might have put the wrong guy on the bench there, Philip. Allen misses. Gasol is the only starter, and the Lakers turn; Powe slams. Will the Celtics sweep this series? Vujacic answers, and a terribly disinterested trap doesn't do much. Rondo to Powe for another slam ends the third, and the Celtics are up 22, and I don't think they've had an easier time since the regular season. Garbage Time Awaits!

Lakers-Celtics Game Two: If You Break Paul Pierce's Other Knee, Maybe He'll Never Miss

I came in a bit late for the first half, but I think I'm getting the gist... the Lakers play badly, Bryant still refusing to take contact and drive the paint, but the Celtics aren't getting real separation. The Lake Show is showing a bit of grit on the boards, and Paul Gasol hit his first six shots from the floor, with a lot of good motion in the paint. But the team with the best player ususally wins games in the Finals, and so far, that's Paul Pierce. In a walk. MVP Kobe? My ass.

Boston also got a big lift from yet another random guy (this time, Leon Powe, with 8 points on nine free throw attempts, or nine times the number that Bryant had). The Lake starting backcourt is killing them, and that was expected to be where they would have an advantage. Now, Rajon Rondo has been a near total home court player in the playoffs, so maybe the series will go long... but right now, the Celtics have all the answers, and are getting all the calls (19 to 2 on free throw attempts?). At the half, it's Boston 54, Lakers 42.

Lakers at Celtics: Game One, Second Half, As Paul Pierce Becomes Legend

Pierce opens with a make, then gets Radmaovic in the air and banks in a three. Huge. With the free throw, it's a 1-point Celtics win and a live crowd. Kobe just answers with a hand in his face from 22. Pierce responds, and it's Cavs Game Seven all of a sudden...

> Radmanovic hits a three, then gets his fourth called on him. He can't guard Pierce at all, and it's tied until Garnett makes again, for his 20th point. Kobe just responds, easily... and suddenly, Bryant's on Pierce defensively, though he picks up a foul in doing it. Kobe then forces a turnover on Pierce, because he's also their best defensive player. Jeff van Gundy then lobbies for Shane Battier, like anyone gives a damn about Shane Battier...

> Laker length then forces a turnover, and Bryant feeds Gasol for another easy one. Odom makes a plastic man board, and man, they're freaky long and athletic. I don't envy any big man going against the Lake Show. Bryant makes another, and Pierce is down and in a lot of pain, after Perkins bangs into him. If Pierce isn't right, and soon, this is looking like a very short series... He leaves on a wheelchair. Yikes. Posey in for Pierce, and the crowd's a lot quieter now.

> Garnett misses, and Bryant goes for kill shot, but it rims out. If the Lakers can get a run here, this isn't going to be a game. Pierce said to be putting weight on his legs, maybe he's going for the Willis Reed move. Big thugging on a missed free throw, with Perkins picking up his fourth. Perk is now limping, and that's wise, because otherwise, everyone would just hate him... He goes to the locker room, too.

> An Allen 3 ties the game and makes it one again. Odom then gets a blocking foul on Brown. Celtics Fan is howling, and ABC doesn't show a replay. Hmm. Odom then misses the first, which means he must have committed the foul, and the second as well. Pierce then returns, and the crowd is huge, of course. Pierce returns to the game, and it's a sprained knee, with a brace. ABC couldn't ask for more drama.

> 10-2 run for the Celtics in and around the injury. Perkins has an ankle sprain, and seems fine. Vujacic gets fouled shooting a three, then makes them all, and it's a one point game despite all the histrionics. A Fisher loose ball and lob to Bryant, and it's a Lake lead again. It's a Game One that really feels like a Game Five to me...

> Bryant, clock dying, makes one of those shots that only he and maybe LeBron James can make. When there is no time on the clock, I'm not sure there's a better player in the game, just because he has such control of his body in the air. Pierce then makes a 3 out of transition, still not looking whole, but it's a fresh Celtics lead... and then he hits another one, and it's four. Big time stuff here from Pierce, like that's not completely obvious. Pierce has 15 in the third, after three in the first half. Kobe makes both, and it's amazing how with everything these teams are throwing at each other, there hasn't been any serious separation at any point.

> Bryant forces and misses a three, and the Celtics hold for the last of the third. Rondo finds Posey, who misses, and Radmanovic hits from 75 feet after the buzzer. Hoo boy. It's 77-73 Celtics after three, and everything that anyone could have asked for.

> Fourth quarter starts with Celtic bench. This is trouble. Kobe scores easily, but Allen answers, and he's the only starter on the floor for the home team. Walton misses and picks up a foul. Powe gets to the line and extends the lead. Kobe airballs, his second straight bad miss, but Odom scores on the airball pass. Cassell misses horribly, then Turiaf gets to the line, again after bad Celtics defense on pick and roll. When they can do this with Farmer and Turiaf, it's endemic. Turiaf misses the first and makes the second, and the Rivers gambit of scrubs has paid off so far.

> Cassell scores after scrambling, with a huge KG play to save. Kobe turns, but a 5 point lead doesn't grow as Cassell misses. Another Laker turn -- their seventh, but coming in bunches now, and a Posey three gives the Celtics an 8 point lead, their largest of the night. If the Celtics win this game, the Garnett save is the signature play.

> Fisher turn after the turn, and another bad shot by Cassell. The Lakers get a break on a board, but Turiaf misses, and so goes KG. Kobe sitting right now, which is kind of interesting in the extreme. Fisher with a make cuts it to six. Cassell makes another terrible play by passing as the clock goes off. If I were a Celtics fan, I'd be offended that he's on the roster, let alone the floor. Vujacic makes, and it's 4. KG misses. A big Gasol O board leads to a very long possession, and Kobe will be back after the break. It's a 4 point game with a little less then six minutes left, and both coaches have gotten away with a big minutes gamble in the fourth.

> Pierce makes. Lakers miss from distance. Rondo misses, and Walton makes a terrible play to not get the board and give up the foul. Jackson subs in Odom, and he'd take the uniform off him if he could. Just terrible. KG misses (and no, the fourth is not looking good), and Rondo takes a foul on Fisher for no purpose. Kobe drives, misses, no call. Allen turns. Vujacic a bad fade miss, and Odom gets his fifth for no reason. Lakers are playing with a surprising lack of poise in the fourth, after being right there for three quarters. After two Pierce makes, it's an 8 point lead with 3:43 left, and if the Celtics lose this game now, it's a choke.

> Bryant forces, Pierce with excellent defense, and the Celtics can make it 10, but KG misses again. Odom then scores and gets the foul on Brown, which is huge, in that it would have been his sixth. With 2:57 left, it's still a game. Odom makes after the timeout, and it's 5.

> Allen draws on Vujacic late in the clock, and misses the first, which is an event, as he shoots 93% from the floor normally. Makes the second, and it's 6. Bryant has just 2 in the fourth, makes a turn, then gives up the jumper to Vujacic. When did he change brains with KG? A Celtics turn, and Bryant feeds Gasol rather than shoot. He gets to the line, then misses the first, which you just can't have when you are down six with two minutes left. Makes the second, and it's still 5.

> Fisher bumps Rondo; hack a guard? Rondo is 6 of 8 from the line tonight, and he makes the first and misses the second, but it works out, as the Celts get the team board. This is almost over. A Posey 3 misses, but Garnett follows and slams, and that's the effective end of this game. Gasol got posterized there.

> Kobe gets to the line and makes both, just the sixth and seventh throws tonight in a physical game. KG looks eager for the ball now; it's amazing what a comfortable lead late does for him. He gets to the line with 61 seconds left, and makes both. It's 96-88 with a minute left, the Celtics biggest lead of the night, and it might as well be 30, the way Bryant has played the fourth.

> Bryant misses a straight 3 after the timeout, as the analysts miss that he's been horrible tonight in the fourth quarter. The Lakers don't really foul, sensing what I'm sensing -- that it's just not their night -- and Allen makes two at 16.6 to end any doubt, not that I've had any for a while.

Well, the Celtics have taken Game One, and ever since Pierce did his Willis Reed imitation, the Lakers have looked like they were ready to head back to the hotel. Game 2 is Sunday, and the Lakers will get to answer lots of questions as to why they went 5 for 20 in the fourth. That, more than anything is your story tonight -- and whether that's Celtics defense or Lakers offense depends on the color of your laundry. Should be interesting.

Lakers-Spurs, Game Five: The Mamba Will Kill You Now

Closing time in Los Angeles tonight, as the Lakers shook off a sluggish start and rode Kobe Bryant's 39 points (26 in the second half) for the kill shot. The Lakers go back to the Finals for the first time since Shaq, with a 100-92 win.

The Spurs blew two of the biggest leads in the playoffs in this series -- a 20 point lead in Game 1, a 17 point one tonight -- and there's a very good reason why: they are old, old, old, and even older than that, since they've got all of those playoff road miles on the tires as well. You can also talk here, if you must, about how the Spurs lost this series in Game 1, the same way the Suns lost their series in Game 1.

In the first half, the Spurs built their big lead on three point shooting, but that dried up with a vengeance in the second half, and the Laker bench cut the big lead down before the half. For the Spurs, Tim Duncan did everything he could to carry them up the mountain, but the simple fact of this series is that Manu Ginobili only played well in one game, and that was the only one they won.

If you're looking for a better Finals, root for the Celtics to finish things off in Detroit in Game 6, but it should not matter either way, simply because Bryant is just on another level right now. Tonight, he scored huge hoops over Duncan when they needed them, and he just seems to be playing at a different conditioning level than everyone else when the chips are down.

The Spurs still have Parker and Duncan, and maybe Manu gets back with rest and health. But they were always working harder to get the same results in this series, and it's hard to see how they're going to get better. They'll have cash to throw around, assuming they bow to reality and avoid some of the older vets on their roster, but there's suddenly a lot of holes here, and Duncan's not getting any younger or better. They are just one big injury away from missing the playoffs entirely next year. They just lost in five in a series where Bruce Bowen played his best ball in years; he's not getting younger either.

For the Lakers, it's just been lightning in a bottle, with the Gasol deal just the security blanket that made everything else fit. If the Finals turn out to be Lakers-Celtics, it will be a simple sign of what it takes to win -- taking another franchise in a ludicrous trade, so that you have two franchises worth of talent boiled down to one team. Nice work if you can get it.

And for the final note, tonight was the last TNT game of the year. How will I live without the obese laughter lampreys of Tyler Payne, Bill Engvald's milk-fed whore daughter, the never-funny shtick of The Closer, and the 15 years past her prime of sassy Holly Hunter? Oh, right. Easily and with great relief...

Spurs-Lakers Game 1: This Will Leave A Mark

Tonight in Los Angeles, a Spurs team that slept on the plane, survived a Game 7 on the road, and is dramatically older than its opponent found themselves up 20 halfway through the third quarter. Kobe Bryant had 2 points. The Staples Center crowd was booing. TBS seemed more interested in showing celebs than the game.

And then the tide turned, and most likely, so did the Spurs' chance to win the NBA Championship.

Independent of who you were rooting for -- and frankly, at this point in the NBA Playoffs, there isn't a team left alive that I'm going to be really happy about getting rings -- it was great hoop. Tim Duncan was magnficent in defeat, and Kobe Bryant (27, 5 and 9 -- 25 of it in the last 18 minutes) exerted his will, more or less abusing Bruce Bowen late. It was back and forth, and when it was all over, you got the feeling that the Spurs had just missed an opportunity that they aren't going to get again.

Here's the stat of the night, if not the millenium: Coach Phil Jackson is 40-0 when his team wins Game 1. Let that roll around your head for a second. 40-0.

Adding to Spurs Fan's worry is that the move that they had to make to get past New Orleans -- more minutes for the well-managed resource that is Manu Ginobili (3 of 13, 10 points, 3 assists) -- looks like it's taking a toll now. Manu has rarely enjoyed his games against the Lake Show, and he was just awful tonight, with big turnovers and Korver-esque defensive efforts on Bryant. There really isn't a player in the Association that can stay in front of Bryant when he's on his game, and for the last 18 minutes of this game, the Mamba was in the house. Combine it with Manu's struggles in the fourth in New Orleans on Monday night, and he's looking at a half dozen sub-par quarters at the worst possible time.

The turning point in this game, for my money, was in the Laker run to end the third. Instead of the Spurs having a cushion, the Lakers were able to turn up the defensive heat and get the game to 7. So even when buckets were traded later, there was never that tense "have to have it right damn now" moment for the home team, who took their first lead of the night with just under 3 minutes left.

When it came to crunch time for the Spurs, there were two consecutive bad Ime Udoka misses (Manu really wasn't feeling it). You also had Duncan giving up a 12-footer at one point so that Udoka could try from 20. (Yeah, I don't quite get the Udoka Fascination, either.) And while Lamar Odom did his level best to match Manu struggle for struggle, he still had a big hoop when the Spurs tried to guard him with Michael Finley, a couple of made free throws, and the final board of the night.

The Spurs should be better with more rest. But the Lakers should be better with less rust. Game 2 is Friday night, and I'm smelling 40 from the Mamba and an easy Lake Show win. You underestimate the Spurs at your peril, but they've had a hard road to get here, and the Lakers just seem to have a higher ceiling.

Oh, and one final point... Marv Albert really is the best play by play guy in the Association, but what was he smoking when he said that Sasha Vujacic's free throws with 7.3 seconds left, and the Lakers up 2... that only the first free throw was important? The second one, Marvalous, gave the Lakers a 4-point lead, and prevented the possibility of overtime. It's kind of an important point, too. Sheesh.

Yes, He's Still The Same Ballhog

Today in Salt Lake City, the Jazz did more than draw even in their best of 7 series with the Lake Show. Instead, for the first time in the playoffs, they made Kobe and Co look beatable, in a 123-115 overtime win that seemed easier than it was.

One signature play came with 7:18 left -- Luke Walton, all alone, was rejected by backup point guard Ronnie Price, sporting a 4-stitch cut on his eyebrow after a second quarter flagrant foul from Lakers big Rony Turiaf. So while the Jazz were a little fortunate to be ahead, thanks to a ton of Laker misses from the line in the first half, they look more problematic now.

The Lakers refused to go away, with a 12-2 run late in the fourth when it looked over, with Lamar Odom and Derek Fisher doing the damage. But the Lakers weren't able to shut off Deron Williams, who scored over Gasol with 66 seconds left on an out of control dribblefest where he was inches away from a backcourt violation. (You know, people talk all the time about the Hawks passing up Chris Paul, but they also whiffed on Williams, who went a pick later.)

Goat horns go to your MVP choice (not mine), who went 13 of 33 while taking more than 1 out of every 3 Laker shots. Making the selfishness even less palatable was the fact that Bryant was in obvious back pain for most of the game; he didn't have his usual quicks, and Andrei Kirilenko smelled it, with five blocked shots and exceptionally confident 1-on-1 defense. The last Lakers shot of the overtime was an airball 3 from Bryant, not that it mattered at that point.

Both teams looked sloppy and gassed in the overtime, but Mehmet Okur made a couple of jumpers, and the Jazz had ball movement, while the Lakers had a half-speed Bryant trying to force it. And just that fast, the series will go 6.

Can the Jazz win 2 of the next 3? If we've learned anything from this playoff season, it's to never underestimate the power of a home court on secondary players. The Lakers also still own this series at the line, which is even more telling for the team with home court advantage. If Bryant is more than 80%, I think the Lake Show still takes this in 6 or 7.

But if the Lakers are having this much trouble with Williams and Carlos Boozer, they're really not going to do well with Paul and West, or Parker and Duncan... who are, frankly, better than the Jazz duo.

Plus, where the Jazz throw Harpring, Korver, Brewer, Millsap and anyone else that's willing to be on a poster at Bryant, the Bugs and Spurs have more live bodies and sharper defensive bigs. The Spurs also, of course, aren't above making Bryant's back much worse; this is, after all, what Mssrs. Bowen and Horry are for.

So while the Jazz may not win this series, I'm thinking that they're going to keep the Lakers from winning the next one. You know, the same way the Cavs are working the Celtics...

Kobe's Airbrushing

There was a story in the New Yorker this week that got some play in the marketing and advertising fields in which I toil, and like too many things, I'm seeing a correlation to sports. It was a profile of a graphics professional who uses digital tools to enhance imagery in celebrity photos, and how the Dove "Real Women" campaign had also benefited from his touch. (That's why it got play outside of the magazine, of course.)

And it struck me how this is exactly what's been happening with your Most Valuable Player of the Association, Kobe Bryant.

Now, my Kobe Hate is longstanding. It started with watching him, as a young player, non-shoot his team to a sweep against the Jazz, when it looked for all the world like he'd rather work on his distance shooting than, you know, win a game. It continued with his fake Good Guy era in the early days of the Shaq time in LA, capped off by the dismantling of the AI Sixers. When the Colorado charges came out, I wasn't shocked; he had seemed like a bad guy all along, so seeing it in public wasn't shocking. (With the Sprite "Obey Your Thirst" campaign out at the time, it was pretty damned funny.) After he ran Shaq, he's spent years putting up numbers and disappearing when it mattered, with the biggest El Foldo being a Game 7 versus Phoenix where he couldn't even be bothered with taking shots in the second half.

So we all knew who and what he was, and what the Lakers were -- a low seed, relatively easy first round out, and a tribute to himself. By the numbers, he could be an MVP, but basketball is more than raw numbers, and he was never really a serious candidate for the award.

Ten months ago, Bryant upped the ante with some of the worst teammate behavior in history, with a trade-me love-me freakout for the ages. When the season actually began, the sense that the Lake Show had to move him for pennies on the dollar was overwhelming... but then a funny thing happened. Andrew Bynum was good. The bench was even better. When Bynum got hurt, they lucked into a lopsided deal for Pau Gasol. So Kobe not only decided to play, he even decided to include his teammates.

And for that, he got the MVP. I can't remember a faster or more artificial PR turnaround.

I was listening to people talking about the MVP debate last week, and one of the yammerheads actually seemed a little surprised by the idea that Bryant might still have a PR problem from the Colorado incident. Maybe it's just because I'm, you know, a father of daughters, and hence, I recognize Bryant for what he is -- the living, breathing definition of the kind of guy that will ruin your kid's life and faith in humanity -- but, um, yes.

Is this an unfair standard for Bryant? Lots of MVPs haven't been very nice people. When Iverson had his issues with the Philadelphia police, it was a first-class media circus, and to this day, I'm sure that most casual fans think Iverson's a worse guy than Bryant. Maybe if the laundry had been changed, and Kobe had three rings with my team, I'd think the same way about him.

But I'd like to think that I'm smarter than that, even if the MVP voters, marketing people, and all of the chuckleheads now wearing Bryant MVP t-shirts aren't. Bryant is a great player; even when his shot isn't falling, he brings a lot of intensity on the defensive end, and his will to win is right up there with Jordan at his prime. He's also a diva, an adulterer, an anal rapist (allegedly), and someone who will throw his teammates not just under a bus, but then push that bus off a cliff... and that's true for when they lose, or if they dare to outshine him.

If that's your definition of value, or a guy whose merch you want to wear, so be it. Me, I'll choose to remember him before the airbrushing.

Epic Drop: Top 10 Reasons Why LeBron Is Better Than Kobe

Yes, you probably didn't even know this was a debate, but you also probably didn't catch the ABC mouth job for the Mamba this afternoon. Scoreboard says... Cavs won on the road, and Kobe's checking Andrew Bynum's status to see if he should pule for another trade request. Give me the younger, bigger, stronger, less crazy guy, please.

Epic Drop: Top 10 People I Am Thankful For As A Spots Blogger

Your list is here, and I realize that I've been double-dipping on Zeke recently... but we're just not going to have him very much longer, and we will never see his like again. (Take a moment amongst yourselves. I'm getting all verklempt.)

Top 10 Things We Have Learned From The NBA So Far This Year

Hey, it's a list that doesn't require an EC visit. That either means it's really good, or that it's just a day where I'm not scheduled to write there. YOU MAKE THE CALL!

10. The Golden State Warriors could not beat the Utah Jazz, even if you let them bring captain Stephen Jackson's guns on to the floor with them

9. Indiana might not be terrible after all, but oh dear lord in heaven, the Kings will be

8. The Gilbert Arenas contract drive is not off to a great start

7. The Spurs are still really (yawn), very (stretch)... good... zzzzzzzzz....

6. Kevin Durant might shoot a lot this year, especially once he gets over his rookie shyness

5. Yi Jianlian isn't really getting a lot of love from the refs just yet

4. Kobe Bryant enjoys drama and free throw attempts

3. There will be many players this year with more 3-pointers attempted than regular shots (Peja, Korver, Linus Kleiza, Tim Thomas, Quentin Richardson...)

2. Brendan Haywood seems to enjoy not having Etan Thomas around in Washington, almost as much as Chris Kaman is not missing Elton Brand

1. Short of an Artest-level incident, no one in America will pay attention to the league tomorrow, thanks to the Colts-Patsmageddon and the TO Bowl

Epic Drop: Top 10 NBA Questions That Won't Get Asked, But Should

Your list is here, and it comes complete with just the kind of titty shot that we just don't cotton to here on the mighty and virtuous Tool. And here's your bonus question.... 11. Is the sex with Jeannie Buss so good that Phil Jackson is not regretting his decision to come back to the Lakers?