Blogrolling Is Extreme In Every Way

Probably the most EXTREME! par 3 on the planet. It requires the use of a helicopter, and I don't like their chances of keeping that green clear of divots.



This is how bad it's gotten for the Pittsburgh Pirates: they lost a game to a community college. And not a very big one.But give the Buccos credit -- they won the first ten times they played!

Are you ready to interact with the Web on a near constant level, for just $350 in computer components from Radio Shack? I know I am, particularly when I can display word clouds on random people, hopefully to tie in with their medical records, so that I can know their STDs. Seriously, do not miss this: it's the freaky / cool / scary future, in all of its glory and ignominy.



Joe Carter is angry that his 1993 World Series-ending home run doesn't get more love from the historians. Joe, it's not that the national media doesn't care about a Toronto win; it's that they don't want to deal with Angry Philly Fan setting fire to their cars. (Though I still contend that what I felt that evening was relief, in that it meant that I never had to watch Mitch Williams pitch again.) Major League Jerk with a list and some good homework on this one.

Because, let's face it, kids love to sleep inside carcasses.

Oh, and just because it doesn't deserve a post of its own, because New York Fan will drown the Web with words... the Mets didn't help themselves with Gary Sheffield, and the Giants did help themselves to get past Plax Burress. The older I get, the more I think character matters. Oh, and in the case of Shef, having a defensive position. That helps too.

Profane, Obvious, and Fun

Just like my prom date. WHOA! BA DA BING!

One small question in re L'Affaire du Plax

I’m my own worst enemy. The things that have happened to me, I have no one to blame but myself. That’s what makes Plaxico Burress Plaxico Burress. - Guess Who, a month ago on Fox

1) The cops have the gun that he used to shoot himself.

2) They have pretty conclusive evidence that the gun was fired. It's right over there, in the suspect's freaking *leg*.

3) There are witnesses as to when the gun was fired.

4) The gun is unlicensed.

5) It was also concealed, or at least it was before the suspect shot himself.

6) All of these things are as close to incontrovertible proof as you are going to get in this world.

7) Some of these things are clear and obvious violations of the law, and the suspect has been charged accordingly.

So, um... and realizing that I am not a multi-millionaire, and therefor not familiar with the quality of justice or legal counsel that such people receive...

Under what grounds is he pleading not guilty again?

Ladies and gentlemen, start your NYPD Is Racist Conspiracy Theories!

ApoPlaxy

(I'm going to assume that if you are reading this blog, you've heard that Plaxico Burress shot himself by accident in a nightclub vestibule last night. If this is news to you, I know, amazing, isn't it? Positively Vickian.)

With the obvious felon and stupidity moment of one Plaxico Burress, there's the small but telling point... are the Giants better off without him, not just for the off the field stuff, but just from a talent standpoint?

Let's go to the numbers.

Without his nominal #1 weapon today, on the road for an important division game in Washington, Eli Manning... went 21 of 34 for 305 yards, the first time he had broke the 300-yard mark in a long, long time. The 'Skins stacked the line (the Giants ran it 31 times for 101 yards, which is as close to stopping them as anyone gets, really), so Eli just roasted them in the first half, finding the dessicated remains of Amani Toomer for 5-85-1, Domenik Hixson for 5 for 71, and Derrick Ward for 75 yards on screens and check downs.

If they really did miss a deep threat, there was no way of knowing it.

Burress is 31 years old, in his ninth season, and hasn't been healthy for well over a year. He's had all of 35 catches for 454 yards this year and 4 touchdowns. His 12.4 yards per catch is the lowest number in his career. He had one very good game this year, in the opener against Washington. Otherwise, he never get more than 5 balls, and usually just gets to three a game. The history of 31 year old wideouts who can't control their personal lives really isn't good; this is the kind of nonsense that you can get away with in your 20s (see Irving Fryar, Joey Galloway, or Terry Glenn). Making these kind of mistakes on the downside of your career is usually professionally fatal.

Here's the thing about your New York Giants; they have become a personnel machine. And they are better off right now, especially since they seem to be using the Plax Mess as just one more motivational tool, seeing what Mario Manningham, Sinorice Moss, Hixson and Steve Smith has to bring to the table, rather than a broken-down felon and head case.

This isn't like the Eagles when Terrible Owens went off the reservation, and they had no better ideas from the back-ups. Smith and Hixson may be better than Burress even before he went NRA on his leg, and certainly after. This may be a mild embarrassment now, but the simple fact of the matter is that the idiot just did his team a favor.

Like they needed it.

The Short Honeymoon

So here's your check list of things that have happened since the Giant Snatch that made the Eli Manning Giants your NFL champions.

1) Michael Strahan retired, turning the club's biggest defensive strength -- a pass rush that could change the way the game was played -- into something much less fearsome.

2) Plaxico Burress became unhappy about his contract, and unhappy wideouts are always conducive to winning. It's OK, though, because the Giants are just loaded with WRs on the roster who are, um, in no way as good as Burress. (Oh, and nice work from the other Giants to stand up for the teammate who carried you last year on a bad ankle, and caught the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl. That's some good loyalty there, and I'm sure he's going to remember that the next time he's dinged up and has to play when he's not really feeling his best.)

3) Marshall's own Ahmad Bradshaw, the rookie backup RB that gave them such a lift when Brandon Jacobs succumbed to being Brandon Jacobs, was arrested. Now, it's not like he Carruthed anyone, but as Jamal Lewis proved in the past in Baltimore, time in the hole just does wonders for your burst. (Oh, and nice work on the Web site, G-Men. Under Off-Field Activity, Bradshaw wisely has "No Information Available." They can't prove you were accomplices to whatever it is that he did in southwest Virginia to violate his parole...)

4) Jeremy Shockey wasn't traded, and has become the distraction that we all know and love. Maybe he can hang out with Burress and see if they can infect David Tyree, while they are at it. This also means less of Kevin Boss, which as an Eagles fan, I can happily support.

5) Backup QB Jared Lorenzon was released, mostly to cut the team's carbon footprint. Who will come in for the Monster Sneak play now?

I can see why they'd want to lose the Hefty Lefty, though. It's not every day that you get the opportunity to watch David Carr and Anthony Wright compete to be your backup QB, unless, of course, you are watching Arena ball.

6) Everybody seemed OK with all of this, because they're Super Bowl Champs. and once a quarterback breaks through and wins one of these things, he becomes imbued with special Jedi Super Bowl Winning Powers. (Just like Trent Dilfer!)

Here's your first four weeks for the Giants.

1) Washington

2) At St. Louis

3) Cincinnati

4) Bye

Hoo boy. It looks easy, but you really don't want the bye early in the season, and I'd bet that they cough up at least one of them. Probably not the home opener against rookie coach Zorn and those always entertaining Redskins, but maybe that road dome game in St. Louis against a Rams team that might even still have healthy skill position players, and an upright Orlando Pace.

But it's completely OK if the Giants start from the block slow. After all, their last four games -- Philly, at Dallas, Carolina and at Minnesota -- just look like a complete cakewalk, and we all know that Road Warrior performance doesn't fade over the years, just as no one in New York boos a Super Bowl winning quarterback. Phil Simms was a god to those people. Infallible, really.

But just in case, it'd be nice if someone told Strahan to throw the team under the bus with a tell-all book halfway through the year, and if someone else has Shockey kneecapped. Why mess with a good formula?

Unfortunate

http://www.nj.com/sports/ledger/index.ssf?/base/sports-1/1175233508107850.xml&coll=1
For non-clickers -- Tom Coughlin just compared his treatment in the NY media last year to being on par with Adolph Hitler. No, really!

Here's the meat of the quote, from the Associated Press:

When he was asked at the NFC coaches breakfast by a football Web site reporter whether he paid attention to what was being said about him last season, Coughlin replied: "I hear some of it and I see it. You know (VP of communications Pat) Hanlon tells me about it, what's going on." Then, he paused, and said, "Hitler and then me, in that order. Unfortunate, but it is."

Five (Tool Tool) points from this...

1) The full 2007 NFL schedule has not yet been released, so we don't know yet if there will be a bi-coastal battle of the Coach Hitlers, aka Giants-49ers. Make it happen, NFL! THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

2) Can we stretch this analogy further? Cause we are so seeing Jeremy Shockey as Goebbels, Eli Manning as Goering, and Tiki Barber as Albert Speer. (We know our Nazis!)

3) Are any other Eagles fans ready to make Jerry Jones into Tojo and Daniel Snyder into Mussolini? E-mail your Photoshop works here. This is a *community* effort, people.

4) Did we inspire this with our Martin ("No one left to speak for me") Niemöller post about booing? We so totally did.

5) Who is the Leni Riefenstahl of the Giants? Not saying we're into the whole whips and leather boots and... um... we've probably said too much. (Photoshop Photoshop PhotoShop!)

FTT's First Advertiser

Ed. Note: Throughout FTT's long and storied history as The Sports Blog That Loves You Back, we've avoided advertising, for fear that it would cheapen the user experience.

But as bandwidth and payroll costs have continued to spiral, we feel we have no choice but to open our doors to commerce. Please now consider this week's advertiser, just in time for SB Sunday.

Hey, football players! Are you ready to take your game to a higher level? Then call your posse and tell your limo driver to take you to…

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