Top 10 reasons why Prince Fielder signed with the Tigers

10) The Red Sox, Yankees, Phillies and Angels already have big money first basemen

9) Gives him the opportunity to ruin dad's legacy, for good or ill

8) Only way to ensure that he never has to face Justin Verlander

7) After so many years in Milwaukee, thinks Detroit is a comparative cosmopolitan metropolis

6) Wants to be part of a 1-2 punch with Miguel Cabrera, on a near-lock division winner, and still be utterly ignored by the national media

5) Convinced that Comerica Park can't hold him, or has a secret fetish for cat statues

4) Always wanted his own city, and at Detroit's current real estate prices, he can afford it

3) Just can't stand Packer Fan, so going to their only credible division rival was the natural choice

2) Told that there were some really good vegetarian restaurants in town, along with a great number of other lies

1) Um, they paid him a staggering amount of money