Top 10 reasons why the Eagles retained Juan Castillo

According to rumors on the Web, my football laundry has signed Todd Bowles to limit the damage that Juan Castillo can do to the secondary, but are giving him another chance to show that he's not as smart as Jim Johnson. (Which is a bit of a problem, seeing how Jim is dead.) So what are the real reasons why the Eagles kept the Juanderful One?

10) It takes a special kind of coach to take 3 Pro Bowl level CBs and turn them into a weakness

9) Really loved the confidence that he showed in the club's nickel backs against Larry Fitzgerald in crunch time

8) Convinced that he won't get into a brawl with Jim Washburn this year

7) Thrilled with how the unit was able to gel late in the year against UFL-level QB play

6) Know that Marshawn Lynch ran through a lot of teams this year, so getting clowned by him can just be ignored

5) Don't see matching up well with a Patriot-style attack as a problem, since no one else in the NFL imitates other team's offensive game

4) By the statistics, the unit was better in 2011 than 2010, which is far more important than the five blown fourth quarter leads

3) The fan base really wanted him gone, and as the past seven years since their only Super Bowl appearance shows, the fan base clearly knows so much less than Coach For Life Reid And Friends

2) Finishing 8-8 is fine, so long as you win the last four against four non-playoff teams

1) Keeping him gives the club it's best chance to achieve the perfect season for this ownership, where you win 10 games, host one playoff game, and make sure you don't go deep enough into the playoffs to get anyone paid