It's The Spontaneous Lobster Trick

The title and video has nothing to do with this post, which means it has about as much in common as the World Wide Lemur's coverage of the NBA. But unlike the World Wide Lemur, the Rudy Schwartz Project gives me joy. Much joy.

Anyway... as I was saying, 'm watching the World Wide Lemur tonight. I'm not proud of it, but that's the price for being a pro hoop fan. In that game, I see the Heat get run into the ground for their third straight road loss, to the less than terrifying Warriors-Clippers-Nuggets gauntlet. Late in the fourth, they also lost Dwyane Wade, also known as their second-best player and the only guy who looks comfortable in close and late situations. And in the halftime analysis, the chucklehead talk was... how the East is all about them and the Bulls, who won in Boston tonight and clearly look like the best team in the East, and how the teams are clearly thinking about home court advantage at this point.

Which led me to check the standings in the east. Here they are.

Chicago 11-2
Orlando 8-3
Philadelphia 8-3
Indiana 8-3
Atlanta 8-4
Miami 8-4
New York 6-5
Cleveland 5-6
Boston 4-6
Milwaukee 4-7
Toronto 4-8
Detroit 3-9
New Jersey 3-9
Charlotte 2-10
Washington 1-10

Now, I get that Miami has talent, and is the defending conference champion, and has the dubious advantage of having all of their games on national television. But they are also consistent Wade injuries -- and it's not as if the guy has never avoided those in his past, or that the sprint schedule has been keeping people healthy. And if he's not right or 100%... well, I'm having a hard time seeing how they are the second-best team in the East. Seeing how they are just the sixth best team right now.

Oh, and you know who might be the second best team in the East? My Sixers. They did what you are supposed to do against a terrible Wizards team tonight, which is to say they tore them apart and cleared the bench so that they'll be able to do it again tomorrow night. When Spencer Hawes has been on the floor -- yes, seriously, Spencer Hawes has been one of the five best centers in the league this year -- they have been one of the most efficient clubs in the Association. When Jodie Meeks is hitting the open threes that have been his to take all year long, they are actually dominant, since the defense has been as good as you will see in the pro game. (Really. Jrue Holiday and Andre Iguodala are lockdown, Elton Brand has always been good at that end, and when they go to the bench and bring in Thaddeus Young, they might be bringing in the best defensive wing player in the league right now.)

I realize that this might be surprising or news to the national audience, of course. Why? Because the Lemur did not even show the team's highlights in this one, despite the fact that the Knicks look wildly vulnerable due to the Carmelo Anthony and Baron Davis injuries, and the Celtics just looking old and awful for wide stretches. They might get the easy path to nothing less than a #3 seed, and a relatively easy first round opponent.

But why cover results, or the scoreboard, when we can service the players and media markets we always service?