Such A Waste

Steve Williams, the now former caddy to the now former Tiger Woods, says that "I’ve wasted the last two years of my life (caddying for Woods), because he’s played infrequently, he’s been injured and played poorly." He also said that he was not upset at being fired.

Um, Steve? I'm reasonably sure that you are upset about this. Since you are, well, speaking to the media about years of wasted life. In general, "I've wasted my life" is not a statement that's associated with "I'm not upset."

There is also this: I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we feel cheated from what you *could* have been doing for the last two years. The oil paintings, the heartfelt novels, the habitats for humanity, or the simple lives touched from telling at-risk youth to forgo a life of crime and the streets for caddying... just so much human potential, all wasted. Makes you want to weep, doesn't it?

Before we break out the violins for this guy, consider: Williams has put more than $9 million in the bank for the task of following Woods around and handing him clubs. This has allowed him to make more money than any other athlete from his native New Zealand, and that includes people who beat each other senseless in the name of sport.

So maybe you might want to dial back the rancor, Dr. Death. Or not take the call from the media for a few more weeks, while you get your thoughts in order, and line up a winning ghost writer before you become completely forgotten and forgettable, instead of just mostly.

Because, well, you carry a man's golf bag, and have made a fairly unconscionable amount of money from doing so. You'll keep doing this for as long as you like, since any number of guys are going to want Tiger's Caddy. And no one feels sorry for your life choices. You probably shouldn't, either.

Play me out, Comic Book Caddie...