Make A Catch, Pay $14,000

So here's a story in the Gray Lady today of how the loyal Yankee fan that caught the Derek Jeter 3,000th hit... is probably on the hook to the IRS for something along the lines of $14,000 for the simple act of catching the ball, assuming that he doesn't turn around and sell everything that's been given to him. Which is just lovely, considering that, like every other 20-something with a U.S. mailing address, he's got six figures of student loan debt. I'm amazed he had enough to get in the stadium in the first place, but that's explained enough by being related to a regular ticket holder.

So let this be a lesson to you, every single man, woman and child who might ever be "lucky" enough to catch a milestone souvenir... you really don't have any other option than to keep that, then sell it on the private market for all that it will bear. Or just to tell your hero and his club that while all of those things would be nice, you are going to need some cash. Cold, hard, spending and seizing cash.

Because to you and I, tickets and jerseys and signed balls might be a prized memory of the day when you did your hero a solid. But to everyone else on this increasingly mercantile and mercenary planet, it's dollars. And up to 40% of them will be claimed as income. Every time.

(Oh, and thanks for the novelty of the event, the guy's getting help from advertising companies who will cover his tax bill. So, yay advertisers, I guess.)