Top 11 things I've learned so far in the MLB playoffs

11) All of the work I've done with the therapist to forget Frank Caliendo will be undone by George Lopez

10) Cole Hamels is not going to revert to his form of 2008 just because it's October, or because his wife is spawning

9) You can take Joe Torre out of four hour Yankee games, but you can not take four hour games out of Joe Torre

8) Winning the World Series and playing in one of the top five media markets in the country does not mean that Philly Fan won't get screwed out of a night game at home

7) There is, amazingly, ways to have coverage be more annoying than Fox or ESPN

6) Dick Stockton, Ernie Johnson and Joba Chamerlain are all apparently still alive

5) Chip Caray is obviously unaware that the term "Fisted!" has any meaning beyond baseball

4) Making the Red Sox and Angels go last gives both fan bases more time to complain about how hard life is, and how their team can't possibly win

3) Blogfrica cares much, much more about some scary female stalker in Iowa

2) About the only way that we're going to stay awake for the West Coast late games is with electrical shock or Chip Carey going, um, deep

1) Yankee Fan would be honored if Captain Jeter went Full Metal Caray on them