Top 10 Week 7 NFL Early Game Notes

> How, exactly, does bringing a terrible game to foreign audiences build the NFL's appeal overseas? The Pats looked downright bored in this game, even when it was close. They weren't the only ones.

> I know I'm perverse, but on some level, I really love shanked punts. Chris Kluwe got off a stinkbomb of a 19-yarder against the Steelers against no pressure, and that's just good comedy, really. It's like a fart in an elevator, really.

> Wow! Steve Slaton ran for a 1-yard touchdown today in the first quarter against the Niners. Thanks for making it hard to fill You Crap this week, Gary Kubiak.

> On Philip Rivers' second touchdown of the day, the time that the quarterback had to complete the pass wasn't enough to have lunch. It was enough to start a restaurant and serve lunch. Kudos to the Chiefs for the impeccable energy conversation.

> There's braying jackassery, there's extreme braying jackassery, and there's what happens in the CBS halftime show. Today, Boomer Esiason interrupted Dan Marino during a highlight, and you would have thought that Esiason invented the fart joke for the forced laughter from the other mouth jobbers. Porn actors have better range. And more shame.

> Happiness is having Adrian Peterson on your roto team, and watching the Vikings give him one shot at the touchdown on a first and goal from the one. I get that Pittsburgh's very good at the run, but you'd think that the NFL's leading rusher might be more than an ornament in that situation.

> The hidden moment of insanity in the Steelers organization for years has been special teams. It makes no sense, since they draft well and have coaching stability, but it's just the case. Perhaps it's because they employ frequent Deadspin devotee Jeff Reed, who disgraced even the kicker brotherhood on a non-tackle of Vikings returner Percy Harvin today. It didn't wind up mattering, but still. Yeesh.

> Bill Belichick and Lawrence Maroney are old hand at boning fantasy owners, but there's really something special about the accomplishment when you run the ball ten times in the first 45 minutes of a game where you are up by three touchdowns almost before the game begins. At least Larry got a touchdown in the fourth quarter garbage time. Phew.

> Adrian Peterson face-raped William Gay on a 29-yard screen pass. I have no idea how Peterson will be a year or two from now -- honestly, a RB that plays the game with that level of violence can't last -- but he's just worth the price of admission by himself right now. Had the Vikings simply kept hold of the ball, AP would have generated overtime on his lonesome.

> And it all went for nothing thanks to Saint Bretty putting 14 points in the hands of the Steelers defense with turnovers today. (The first on a strip sack, the second on a deflection pick TAInt.) That Vikings bandwagon just got some leg room. (Oh, and kudos to Darryl Johnston for nothing that Bretty might want to have that play back. No, ya think?)