Top 11 Reasons Oakland Raiders' Coach Tom Cable Punched An Assistant

The Internets are alive with the rumor that there are Hijinks In Raiderville. As always, FTT has the inside info and 11-point coverage.

11) That's just how they roll in Eye Da Ho

10) Merely exerting his top bunk privileges

9) It's all part of Al Davis's Master Plan

8) Sebastian Janikowski gave him a roofie by accident, and the resulting shame has made him a ticking time bomb

7) Trying to get canned before the ritual first week prime time evisceration

6) If you had to deal with Javon Walker on a routine basis, you'd be assaulting people, too

5) Grown men just aren't able to be outside in Napa without succumbing to "Heart of Darkness" style madness

4) Assistant just wouldn't shut up after Cable had a hard day at the office, and dinner wasn't on the table

3) The Raiders can't be expected to commit stupid penalties without a clear coaching example

2) Just wanted to finally feel like a winner

1) It's Monday