Top 10 next stages in the Quinn-Anderson Battle

The current story out of the Cleveland Browns camp is that Derek Anderson is accusing Brady Quinn of tipping off defenders on plays to take a leg up in their position battle.

No, seriously. So...

10) ESPN brings in Kelly Holcomb and Tim Couch to provide color commentary on who's the bigger bitch

9) Anderson throws a fit when Quinn comes to practice wearing the exact same outfit

8) Notre Dame calls to revoke Quinn's attendance

7) Head Coach Eric Mangini gives the winning quarterback the #4 jersey so that he won't be able to replace him in mid-season, no matter how badly he plays

6) In Week 4 game against the Bengals, pull a Bertrand Berry on Carson Palmer so that the starter can still claim to be the best starter in the state

5) Begin Joe Thomas Pro Bowl campaign by making sure all color analysts know that whoever the QB is, they have a ludicrously slow release

4) Both QBs to try to bribe Braylon Edwards to actually catch some of the balls thrown to him this year

3) Both players start bitching about Josh Cribbs getting all of the cool playcalls and yards

2) Each man goes to Jamal Lewis in an attempt to have the other catch a shiv

1) Mangini just gives the job to Brett Ratliff, who, unlike both of the top candidates, might still be in the league in five years