Top 11 upcoming cost-cutting moves for the Memphis Grizzlies

So the Grizz, AKA the New Clippers, have decided to sack their entire scouting department. As per the usual for such matters, they then obviously lied to the public. "I prefer a smaller group," said GM Chris Wallace.

Um, Chris? I know you've got the stupidity that only people who think they are smarter than everyone else despite all evidence to the contrary can have, but you really can level with us all from time to time. Say it's the economy and move on. Say that you'll be relying on other resources, or that you're pooling with other teams, or rehiring in a little while, or, well, something. Saying you prefer a smaller group is right up there with saying that you prefer a smaller season, which given that the Grizz last made the playoffs when they had the right Gasol, won't be, for, well, ever.

Seriously, can't anyone speak truthfully in public anymore... and why can't the Grizz just embrace their new identity as Clippers 2 (This Time, With Money Laundering)? Change the team mascot -- which, to be honest, hasn't made sense since you salted the earth in Vancouver -- and become the Vagrants. I'm seeing a Lovable Hobo mascot with fingerless gloves and a bindle. Go, Vagrants, Go!

11) Auction off the right to kill Wallace and bury him like a hamster in the stadium parking lot, since that seems to be the custom down there

10) Just keep printing old programs, since it doesn't really matter who is in the uniforms anyway

9) Sell popcorn in three sizes: Small, Medium, and Refurbished

8) Extend the lucrative "Fantasy Camp" concept to the real thing

7) Road jerseys to be replaced with "Shirts and Skins" motif (also a possible win for conditioning and/or marketing to alternative communities)

6) Sell OJ Mayo and Rudy Gay "Countdown to Free Agency" clocks

5) Team's travel plans to be switched as soon as Greyhound plays ball with their rates

4) Reach out to the stat geek community by letting one of them coach this mess

3) Sell sponsor rights on the uniforms -- no, sorry, I'm just getting silly now; no professional American basketball team would ever be that desperate

2) Replace dance team with two very special dancers -- one nice, one naughty

1) Forfeit all 82 games and just make it a little more obvious