That's the way to start the year

Word out of Milwaukee, in no way surprising, that Trevor Hoffman will start his Brewer career on the disabled list.

Of course, I own him on two out of three leagues, because that is just how I roll, bitches.

The move is retroactive to March 27, because the team doesn't think that he'll be out for a very long time, and 41 year old closers are not exactly known for their durability. So I'm not exactly cutting him. Just myself.

Luckily, I'm sure this will be the last time this year that I have to deal with hurt players. Good to get that out of the way early, really.

Chokedown 2008: The Sequel

If you loved the 2007 baseball season -- and frankly, Phillies Fan adored it, at least the regular season part -- you're also loving 2008. The Phillies pulled off yet another gut-check win tonight in Atlanta, recovering from a 7-4 seventh inning deficit and then surviving a shaky from Brad Lidge for an 8-7 win.

Meanwhile in Washington, the Mets were discovering, yet again, how hard it is to play baseball with both hands around your neck. Nine scoreless innings later against one of the worst teams in MLB, the Mets relinquished first place in the division, and only the free-falling Brewers are keeping them in the wild-card.

With a dozen games left to go, the schedule seems to break well for the Mets, who get the Nationals and Braves, while the Phils have the Braves, then the Marlins, their personal torture device. The Brewers are on the road in Chicago and then Cincinnati. But right now, they aren't playing the schedule; they are playing themselves... and losing, Meanwhile, the Phillies play to packed houses every night, have a couple of surging aces in Myers and Hamels, and an offense that frequently gets off the mat from big deficits.

I'm not a Phillies or a Mets Fan, per se; I'm a blogger that likes lay-up stories like this to help fill the word hole. And for that, I'd like to thank all three teams for making things easy on me, especially in a year where my A's sold the season for Matt Murton, and Red Sox Fan is looking like they are in line for way too much happiness (again). Moving on...

Top 10 Vegetarian- Friendly Ballparks

From PETA, who as the photo to the right shows, just might be finally getting the hang of this whole PR thing...

1. Citizens Bank Park (Philadelphia Phillies)

2. AT&T Park (San Francisco Giants)

3. Safeco Field (Seattle Mariners)

4. PETCO Park (San Diego Padres)

5. U.S. Cellular Field (Chicago White Sox)

6. Busch Stadium (St. Louis Cardinals)

7. Comerica Park (Detroit Tigers)

8. Coors Field (Colorado Rockies)

9. Turner Field (Atlanta Braves)

10. (tie) Tropicana Field (Tampa Bay Rays)

(tie) Chase Field (Arizona Diamondbacks)

Really, Philadelphia is the most vegetarian-friendly? I'd have thought that it would be Milwaukee, now that their fat load of a first baseman went off meat, while ours still grazes... but then again, they did bring in CC Sabathia. And lust after racing meat.

The Vegetarian Menace

Now, when you look at the following clip, you probably think it's just one more baseball slap fight. This one's in better video quality than most.



Sure, you could put it in the teammate on teammate file with Manny Ramirez and Kevin Youkilis in Boston, Dioner Navarro and Matt Garza in Tampa Bay, and Michael Bennett and Carlos Zambrano in Chicago. Those are just the ones off the top of my head; I'm sure there hav been others.

But what's really going on here is Fielder giving in to the inevitable homicidal rage that takes over all vegetarians. From Hitler to McCartney, as well as the classic passive aggressive types like Gandhi and Schweitzer, the practice of not eating meat just leads to blowouts like this. Someone slip some veal in Fielder's tofu, and all will be well in Brew Town.

(The fact that I've named my roto baseball league The House of Meat has nothing to do with this assessment.)

Dumbness in Microcosm

Tuesday in the All Sta Game, oft-injured Brewers starting pitcher Ben Sheets started for the National League and threw 42 pitches. Today in San Francisco, he started again, on three days rest, and had his manager, Ned Yost, say that he should be able to work his normal workload.

Well, not so much. Sheets went five innings, giving up nine hits and four runs (two of them were unearned), in what would eventually prove to be an 8-5 Brewers win. He could have picked up the win, but the bullpen gave it up. And independent of what happened in the here and now, I'm left to wonder if the Brewers really have any clue as to who Sheets is, and what he represents -- i.e., their ace, their property in the bigs for the past eight years, perhaps the best they've had since Teddy Higuera in the '80s, and someone who hasn't made it through a year without missing substantial time since 2004.

You'd think that they'd have a little more care with that resource, but then again, that's right there with the guy being only six wins over .500, despite having a good ERA and WHIP for nearly all of those years.

You know, when he was able to pitch in the first place.

Your Second Team

CC Sabathia, last year's Cy Young award winner for the American League and next year's spectacularly overpaid free agent (call it a hunch, but I'm betting that a guy with a high inning and pitch count who historically carries a lot of extra weight might not be the best bet to withstand the workload later in life) has been moved from the Tribe to the Brewers for a reasonable prospect, because the Tribe knows (a) they aren't going to need him in post-season this year, and (b) they aren't going to be able to afford him, either.

Milwaukee gets a second ace behind Ben Sheets, and becomes a theoretically dangerous team in a short series, except for the fact that they probably aren't going to get there, and if they do, Sheets and Sabathia are extremely likely to become ineffective under the workload by then. (Remember, of course, that Sabathia was tatooed in the playoffs last year after racking up a big inning count during the year, and Sheets' injury workload is rivalled only by Rich Harden in terms of sheer heartbreak to his fan base.) The Brewers wound up giving up a big strikeout, low defense player in Matt LaPorta, like they don't already have that kind of player in spades. They'll also get the inevitable high compensation pick when some MLB+ team signs him away after the 15 or so starts that Sabathia will make in a Brewers uniform, assuming, of course, that the hefty lefty will dominate the weaker circuit down the stretch. He really should do that, despite the fact that he's going to be facing better hitters in the NL Central in bandbox parks, because he's been on a roll and will be unfamiliar to most of the hitters that will face him.

But that's not what I'd like to address here.

Sabathia has always been something of an enigma. He's huge, and has been for most of his career. He's one of an ever-dwindling number of African-Americans in the sport; it's pretty much him and Dontrelle Willis in terms of finding a black lefty of prominence now, and Willis is plying his trade in the minors right now. He's been in line for an immense payday for a while, so Tribe fans haven't really taken him to the kind of heart you'd expect. He's streaky, with months of extreme hittability that have kept him from a top-tiered fantasy role in most drafts. And now, he's on his next team.

When a player has his laundry changed, it permanently affects, in some small way, how the public judges him. There's a bedrock irritation from casual fans from having to update their file on the guy. We start to judge him as not quite all that, since the first team didn't move heaven and earth to keep him. Maybe he's a bad teammate or just about the money. Perhaps there are some off-field stuff we don't know about, or (if you're local to his first team) that he secretly hated your town. Maybe you'll be angry with the team, but eventually, you have to forgive them, because they are your team, and players come and go. Hell, if LaPorta becomes a standout Tribe performer and/or Sabathia becoems the next Carl Pavano, you have to eventually applaud the move.

What I'm most curious about is whether or not this kind of judgment also applies to people in your place of work. As a marketing guy who has worked for a lot of risky start-ups, I've amassed a resume that barely fits on two pages. If I were to count every place that has given me a W-2 by hands, I'd have to take off my shoes. And yet, I've never really felt discriminated against as a mercenary chasing the dollar, probably because at this level, we're all like this, especially in a dicey economy. That level of experience has usually been treasured in interviews and by recruiters, and it's how I define job security -- my network of satisfied clients, since your personal reputation has more to do with your future than the well-being of your current employer.

Perhaps this is just a casualty of the unreality of men who make more than you and I will in our lifetimes in one single year. Maybe I'm secretly regarded badly by my co-workers. And maybe Sabathia's eventual MLB+ owners will take him to heart, rather than regard him with suspicion and buyers' remorse. And finally, maybe we're all just fantasy players now, and we're loving the fact that Sabathia's probably going to get more wins as a Brewer than an Indian. (Though he did go to a team that doesn't catch the ball worth a damn. Worth remembering.)

How Not To Close

The Brewers lost to the Cardinals today with (yet another) blowup from"closer" Eric Gagne, whose 6.89 ERA, 1.85 WHIP and 1.55 K/BB ratios are coming at the bargain basement price of $10 million for the year.

"I don’t deserve that ninth inning right now. It’s pretty simple," said Gagne after the game, echoing his fantasy league's owners, who have already endured five blown saves (out of 14 chances), the most in MLB.

The Brewers don't really have a very good option right now -- because they've got several. Between Guillermo Mota, Salmon Torres and David Riske, they've got arms who are prone to strikeouts, but no one that's too obvious for the job. Manager Ned Yost keeps going for Gagne in the hope that he'll turn it around, but with the Brew Crew already five games back in the division, time is of the essence. (And no, Derrick Turnbow is not the answer, not unless the question is who is the Brewers' AAA closer... and the guy who isn't even good enough to get claimed on waivers.)

Quick Opening Day Notes

> It's about 40 degrees, raw and drizzly here in New York. March Opening Day Baseball -- catch the fever!

> Starting today for your Cincinnati Reds... not white-hot prospects Joey Votto and Jay Bruce, but 38-year-old OBP-only Scott Hatteberg and perpetual source of disappointment Corey Patterson. Enjoy your new manager, Dusty "Death To The Young" Baker, Reds Fans!

> The Brew Crew has Jason Kendall hitting ninth against the Cubs, so that they can get the comparative power bat of Ben Sheets into the 8th slot. I'd make a Sheets Hurt comment here, but as I've drafted him in a league, that is No Longer Funny.

> The Mets throw Johan Santana vs. Dodger reject Mark Hendrickson in Florida today. I think we can call that the second time this year that a team has a home-field advantage in their road opener, after the Red Sox Go To Japan Experience...

> Really, Twins Fan, Livan Hernandez? On the bright side, I think he has more tread on the tire than Brad Radke... but you'd like Radke better here, wouldn't you?

Crap Holes We Have Known: Milwaukee's County Stadium

Ed. Note: Part of a continuing series where FTT throws dirt on the graves of dead stadiums to show that yes, we are freaking old. Enjoy!

Once upon a time, my children, the Milwaukee Brewers were a team that you could root for, even if you weren't from there.

They had Robin Yount, a great little Hall of Fame player who wasn't really what you think of as Hall of Fame player, but he was really very good all the same. On his way to battling Cal Ripken for the title of Best American League Shortstop of the '80s, Yount suffered horrific injuries and eventually relocated to cener field, where he picked up as if immortality had not been denied him. In the long run, it wasn't.

They also had Paul Molitor, another Hall of Famer with injury issues. Molly hit like a machine, ran with abandon before he got hurt, and was to George Brett as Yount was to Ripken. He wound up at first base and DH, rather than center field, and did much the same thing.

The town loved both of them, along with their freakish '82 AL Championship team, which had Yount, Molitor, the supernova that was Storming Gorman Thomas, Rollie Fingers, and a lot of guys that looked bad in uniforms. They set the unofficial record of most jock scratches on camera during their '82 Series loss to Whitey Herzog's Cardinals, and then they more or less went to .500 seed for a long time after that. (Fun fact: the Game 7 winner was noted maniac Joacquin Andujar. He was kind of all or nothing when it came to Game Sevens.)

The Brewers, the little team that you could always feel good about rooting for, would get more or less the same results as the Yankees of their era, and for about 20% of the payroll. Their superstars were likable, their fans were cheerfully drunk, and hating on Milwaukee is like hating on Green Bay. You can do it, especially if you are lactose intolerant, but it's hard to imagine anyone making a diet of it. In their 37 years of existence, I doubt that the Brewers were ever involved in anything close to a long-term heated rivalry.

Then, Bud Selig worked his special magic. The man with the toxic touch turned the Brewers into something for which everyone could root against. Everything Bud did -- from inequal revenue cap sharing to encouraging local teams to engage in corporate welfare schemes for new stadiums, to cancelling the World Series and his fondness for eating live puppies -- could be seen as a particularly ham-handed move to benefit his wretched Brewers. Yount retired, Molitor moved on to World Series rings with the Jays and Twins, and the Brewers went to NL Comedy Central, where they have spent most of their existence fighting the Pirates to see which team could be less relevant.

So it is with a mixed heart that I approach this Craphole Entry, because Milwaukee's County Stadium really wasn't all that bad... and, I suspect, a place that I'd like better than the current budget Beer Palace they are occupying.

When we visited, it was a warm summer night in the late '80s. We were on a one-day road trip from Chicago, dragging a North Side native with us to the first and only Wisconsin Run of his life. (Asking people from Chicago if they've been to Wisconsin is like asking people from New York if they've been to Scranton.)

The Brewers lost in a run of the mill affair. The stadium was drab and featureless on the field, with ample concessions and the same cheesy Baseball Activities that you see everyone else. 10,000 fat and happy Wisconsinites ate cheese, drank beer, cheered for Robin Yount, groaned at Chris Bosio, and generally didn't let the game get in the way of their good time. It had a timeless feel to it, like the game didn't really count in the standings, because nothing the Brewers did impacted the standings, really.

My only memory of the place was getting a fake baseball card made of myself, which actually worked as ID in my college days. The bouncer someohow bought the idea that even though the stats on the back of the card showed I was a .367 hitter with 28 triples for the year, the birth date would be accurate. Or maybe they really just wanted to sell me beer. In any event, Milwaukee made me proud.

It was a place like many others. My Chicago friend never went back, but I don't think he's gone to the new yard, either. It didn't help the Brewers; it didn't hurt them, either. And if Bud Selig didn't ruin the world with his presence, they'd probably still be playing there today, and it would all seem like nothing has changed.

As always on Crap Holes We Have Known, if you’ve got a different view, we’re eager to hear it, so that we can get what people in pro wrestling call Cheap Heat. Post your impassioned defense, or pile on the corpse, in the comments below.

Coming Up Next Time on A Very Special Crap Holes We Have Known: Roasting a Sacred Cow. Only on FTT!

Actual MLB Overview

Every once in a while, we have to throw some actual analysis your way, just to make sure you're bored. Dig in, cranks!

> Slowly but surely, the Dodgers have risen to first in their division, and they're now playing .600 level baseball. Between LA, San Diego and Arizona, the West has three teams flirting with actual competency, though the Snakes are an incredibly streaky lot. The Dodgers' rise is directly correlated to when Raffy Fural actually started to hit.

> The NL Central is about a week away from a race. With the Brew Crew down to six games above .500, they are looking ripe for any team that can make a run. The most amazing part is that the Cubs are in third, 6.5 out... or roughly half of the gap for the Yankees in the AL East.

> Very quietly, because everything in the AL that isn't Boston or New York is very quiet, the Angels are up 5.5 games in the West and are starting to roll. I didn't like the Gary Matthews Jr. signing in the off-season, and I still don't like it -- but he's hitting now, and their bully is as good as always.

> Cleveland is the talk of the Central, with an offense that's turning the opposition into mulch. The bully is still a concern, but if Fausto Carmona continues to give them found money... well, that's not going to happen, but they can dream. (Me too, as I've got him on my roto team.)

> With the best record in the NL, the lowest runs against, and an awakening Carlos Delgado, the Mets are looking very good. But they're still only four games up despite getting great starts from Perez and Maine, and nobody is really taking the next step on offense. Part of this may just be Shea, but there's a surprising lack of power here, too.

Of course, the Mets could go on a ten-game winning streak and still not get much notice, since the media is all over the Nero Yankees Deathwatch. Good baseball teams come and go, but the most expensive roster in the game being 7 games under .500? That's special.

> Oh, and a big shout out (HEY!) to FTT Favorite Mark Ellis (we actually own an A's shirt with his name on the back, in the hopes that someone will think our last name is Ellis). While the world slept, he hit for the cycle in an 11-inning win over Boston that also included Eric Chavez's very first walk-off home run ever. Take that, people who bash Chavez for a spotty post-season hitting record! (You're still right, of course.)