Top 10 reasons why the Phillies are demoting Chris Wheeler and Gary Matthews from their telecasts

Hold Me, I'm Less Employed

10) Unlike the on-field talent, want to actually try this whole younger and cheaper thing

9) Very possible that Roy Halladay retired over something they said

8) Finally got the memo that Harry Kalas and Richie Ashburn really didn't think much of either of them

7) Steve Carlton and Darren Daulton are available, which, you have to admit, could be all sort of fascinating

6) After an off-season of Marlon Byrd and not drowning Jonathan Papelbon in a sack of kittens, wanted to give fans a reason to look forward to the upcoming season

5) Really want to see if guys who have been employed for a really long time will take some dramatically lesser job, just for funsies

4) As both men had to watch all of the games last year, and next year should be worse, just didn't have the heart to do that to them again

3) Only way to get mentioned on Keith Olbermann's show, and in Ruben Amaro Jr's world, all national press is we're still so a contender press

2) Couldn't actually find a single person under 45 who wanted to still have either man on the telecast

1) As with many of Amaro's moves, wanted to show the fan base that what was terrible can, in fact, get worse