Top 10 takeaways from Aaron Rodgers Denying That He's Gay

One of many beards

10) Untold numbers of closeted Packer fans become subconsciously depressed

9) Jason Collins wonders anew why he's the only gay athlete in America

8) Bear Fan takes what he needs from this story, then goes back to bitching about Jay Cutler

7) "Discount Double Check" entry on Urban Dictionary is being written, even as you read this

6) The Internet is forever discredited as a credible source for news

5) The Packers' inability to sell out their playoff game this week just took on a dark overtone

4) Any number of truly regrettable people make a "Packer" joke

3) Rodgers starts to wonder about the wisdom of being quiet about his Christianity, and, perhaps, his Movember mustache

2) The half dozen or so hotties that Rodgers has been seen in public with over the years, including Mila Kunis, Jessica Szohr and Erin Andrews, regain their fragile self-confidence

1) This blog simultaneously makes fun of, then profits from, the search engine traffic generated by this pointless timewaste