9) Isn't it more amazing that the people in Turbo Tax ads are capable of, well, anything?
8) Are all Courtyard by Marriott rooms haunted by the screams of tens of thousands of people?
7) If you are downloading and using a mobile app to determine the location where your beer was made, how have you survived all of the suicide attempts over the utter waste of time that is your life?
6) Does Joe Namath only give away Super Bowl trips to people he does not want to drunkenly kiss?
5) Are people who are eating McDonald's sitting down for less happy reasons?
4) If I drink Redd's beverages, will I start to hallucinate before, well, drinking Redd's beverages?
3) Have we officially run out of things to make movies about, since we're now making them about Lego?
2) How poor is the security outside of sports arenas now, that road team buses are just under such constant criminal attack?
1) Why is George Washington's eye hole on Mount Rushmore a dank and lizard-infested sewer... and how, again, does this sell insurance?