Top 10 NFL Week 15 Ad Questions

This Is Eating To Win

10) How does Mayhem from the Allstate ads have bandages on him right after explosions and accidents?

9) If Santa is now a corporate whore for Samsung, can we officially declare the Christmas spirit irrevocably dead?

8) Do all Seahawk fans play femme songs to give their team the edge?

7) Why is Target encouraging children to add to our culture of surveillance?

6) If the only way you know about the change of seasons is from McDonalds beverages, can we be sure that you are not a cursed specter, doomed to wander the earth for eternity, or until those foods degrade?

5) Given the relative competence of NFL referees, are you really OK with having your freaking mortgage reviewed by them?

4) Why are freaky squirrels pimping Pepto-Bismol, and how are they getting past airport personnel and the TSA to infest our aircraft?

3) Does Wal-Mart purposely choose kids with extra chromosomes for their holiday ads as a nice thing to do, or does everyone who shop there have extra chromosomes to start with?

2) Is the continuing existence of luxury car advertising with holiday bows proof that we need a violent revolt against the 1%, or evidence that are actually trying to provoke it?

1) If Subway is where winners eat, is winning no longer attached to capitalism?